GorillaOffTopic, Everything But Gorilla Trades

The Gorilla can’t tell you how many times he has been annoyed by other people’s cell phone abruptly ringing in the most inappropriate places. Recently he went to a school play at his child’s high school when suddenly in the midst of the silence, a phone rang causing everyone to a utter a simultaneous chorus of SHHHHH!  How rude! Well apparently, that is exactly how a stressed out- and fed up- judge felt back in 2005, when he ordered an entire courtroom to be taken into custody because of someone’s cell phone ringing during one of his proceedings.

Niagra Falls Judge, Robert Restaino, was hearing a case involving domestic violence, when someone’s cell phone rang in the courtroom. He then demanded that the person come forward, but when no one did, he went a little crazy.  ”Everyone is going to jail,” Restaino said. “Every single person is going to jail in this courtroom unless I get that instrument now. If anybody believes I’m kidding, ask some of the folks that have been here for a while. You are all going.” Unbelievably, a total of 46 people were jailed and 14 of them even had to be bused to another facility because they could not make their bail!  The judge did order them to be released that afternoon and claimed that he was “under a lot of pressure and suffering from extreme stress.” 

Well, too late, the harm was done. He went too far. Hey, the Gorilla would like to admit that he himself no longer carries a cell phone since he hates them so much. Yes, they are convenient and needed in emergencies, but let’s face it, they can sometimes make life miserable too. There have been times when the Gorilla would have enjoyed taking someone’s phone and tossing it in the water because they exercised poor etiquette, but even Gorilla’s must behave! Well, the Judge finally got what was coming to him for his severe overreaction because on Tuesday, Raoul Felder, chairman of the State Commission on Judicial Conduct wrote in the decision to remove Restaino from the $113,00-per-year post, and said “Judge Robert Restaino ’snapped’ and ‘engaged in what can only be described as two hours of inexplicable madness’ during the March 2005 session.” All the Gorilla can do with this one, is just scratch his head and sigh. No comment needed!

So you start a new job and have to watch one of those boring training videos. Okay, that’s nothing new. The Gorilla himself has had to do it in his past jungle life, and just about every legitimate company has one of these days.  So, what if you sat down to watch the video with men and women of all races and religions- while on the television you watch a white, blue-collar worker, just like yourself, being shown as a racist among other things? Would you, the white guy, be offended or perhaps embarrassed by this portrayal? Sure, many people would.

One guy in particular, in Denver, Colorado, is now threatening to sue over it, as a matter of fact. It seems that the Denver Career Service Authority has made a little boo-boo of sorts and now people are up in arms over it. The Career Service Authority put out a training video, which shows “Billy,” a blue-collar worker, making racist and sexist jokes throughout the video. One of the workers who had to view the video as part of his training, says he was “extremely offended” by the video, which he says portrays all whites to be racist. The man is now threatening to pursue a lawsuit if the video is not suspended from further use.

Denver Councilman Charlie Brown- not to be mistaken for the Peanuts character- had this to say about the video after viewing it himself: “This is an insult and is extremely embarrassing for me to watch. It implies that it’s only white blue-collar workers who make these statements and that simply isn’t true.”  (The recent verdict in the Isaiah Thomas case proved that.) He goes on to say “you’d think this was Birmingham, 40 years ago. It just isn’t.” He also said that Denver pays over a quarter of a million dollars a year on diversity management programs to address these issues and to prevent them. Stephen Viscuse, a workplace expert and writer, also blasted the video stating, “racism comes in all colors shapes and sizes.” He went on to say that it was “an excellent idea that was poorly executed.” And further explained that there should have been people of all races-men and women alike- shown in the video. (Most people would probably agree with that statement). 

The Denver City Career Service Council has reportedly apologized and has suspended the video, stating that they are aware that it has “clearly struck a nerve.” Well, the Gorilla feels very strongly that people just don’t think these days, and it seems as if although they have good intentions initially, they end up sometimes going in the opposite direction; thus defeating the purpose of what they set out to do. The Gorilla agrees with Mr. Viscuse. The premise of the video was excellent. Racism of any kind should NEVER be allowed in the workplace, or frankly the world, but hey, one battle at a time! The workplace is a great place to instill good values and attitudes in people, but hey now, let’s get it right next time shall we?

If you’re a parent, you may have spanked your child at some point in their life for misbehaving, right? Just a little spank to the bottom, or tap on the hand, to let them know they are being “bad,” and to give them a warning not to do it again. The Gorilla admits that during his little chimps’ lives, he too used this kind of corporal punishment; but very few times and certainly NOT in an abusive kind of way. But the Gorilla had many friends who didn’t “believe” in spanking their own children, and he respected their choices and understood them. 

One particular friend of the Gorilla said that his parents were “abusive and went overboard” with corporal punishment, so he and his wife chose not to punish their own kids in that same way. There are many debates over spanking children for misbehaving and one big debate is brewing right now in Massachusetts, as that state is proposing a legislature to ban corporal punishment all together. Jeffrey Garbere, a clinical psychologist, agrees with the proposal, stating that although most parents know the difference between spanking and abuse, there are still so many cases of child abuse in that state that it’s absolutely necessary to pass it. He states that “in this case, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of a few.”

The Gorilla absolutely agrees with this philosophy, but the problem is, will this mean that kids will be calling the police on their own parents? The law will state that any kind of corporal punishment of a child will warrant abuse and the parent will be subject to arrest. Peter Sprigg, of The Family Research Council, says that he is against the legislature for this very reason. He states that “there is going to be a discrepancy on what is acceptable and what is considered to be abusive.” And the Gorilla would like to know how the state plans to determine what behavior is considered abusive? If a parent decided to spank a child on his/her behind in a grocery store for grabbing things and putting them in the cart when he/she was told not to by mom, is this in fact, abusive? 

The American Academy of Pediatrics says that kids who are spanked have lower IQ’s and do much worse in school than those that are not. However, there have also been studies on basic corporal punishment alone, which indicate that this may not, in fact, be true. These studies showed that adults who were spanked as children grew up to be more successful and actually were better students than the ones who were not spanked!  So, who knows which study truly is accurate? The bottom line is child abuse is rampant, and we need to take action. You may be shocked to hear this, but the Gorilla is all for this new legislation. If it means that those poor kids who are victims of abusive parents have a little recourse for their suffering, then bring on the new law. Yes, it would need to be monitored on a case by case basis, and yes, there will be children calling to report abuse when a parent simply spanks them for being bad, but as the clinical psychologist stated, “the needs of the many should outweigh the needs of a few.” These children deserve to be protected. Now keep in mind that this legislation was proposed and laughed out of the door in California (it was not passed), and this one is expected to fail miserably as well, but one can never be too careful when it comes to the needs of our precious children. Good luck Massachusetts!

Botched brain surgery? Rare but not impossible. But what are the chances of several botched brain surgery’s occurring at the same hospital, all in the very same year? Yes, it’s true. The Gorilla was kind of, well, perplexed, when he heard this story out of Providence, Rhode Island today. A hospital there is being fined for it’s third- that right folks- it’s third, instance of operating on the wrong side of a patient’s head.

The most recent case happened on Friday, when (according to the health department) the chief resident started brain surgery on the wrong side of an 82-year-old patient’s head. Luckily, the patient was okay, but in February, it had happened also. This time, according to a health department spokeswoman, a doctor performed neurosurgery on the wrong side of another patient’s head, but once again, that person was also okay. Well, three strikes certainly makes an out, and this time the person was not so lucky. Unbelievably, in August, a patient died a few weeks after yet a third doctor performed neurosurgery on, you guessed it, the wrong side of his head. Unfortunately, it took that third incident to get the state to order the hospital to take steps to ensure that this would never happen again.

Those measures will include an independent review of its neurosurgery practices and better verification from doctors of surgery plans. The Gorilla is simply amazed that they didn’t jump at the opportunity to do this after just ONE botched brain surgery. The hospital said it was re-evaluating its training and policies and made this statement: “We are committed to continuing to evaluate and implement changes to our policies to help ensure these human errors are caught before they reach the patient”. For now, the hospital must pay a $50,000 fine and was reprimanded by the state for its actions. The Gorilla cannot even imagine the future malpractice insurance rates for these irresponsible surgeons! For now, heed some good advice from the Gorilla; research your doctors and hospitals thoroughly before having any kind of surgery. Being educated about your physicians/hospital’s history can save your life! In the meantime, perhaps you should stay away from this particular hospital if you are currently in need of any neurosurgery! (Okay folks, lighten up, that was obviously a joke!)

Road Rage- you know what it is; cars weaving in and out, people in a huge hurry, tailgaters trying to practically run you off the road. Most of us have experienced these things at some point in our automobile travels. Many of us have either been the victim of one of these incidents, or shamefully, the aggressor of one.. (Hard to admit, but true for some!) The Gorilla admits he has been on both sides (hey nobody’s perfect), but since maturing, he has mostly been the victim of several road rage incidents himself.

Well, this weekend, road rage was all too evident, as people drove from place to place- most likely shopping-and some pulled out all the “stops” so to speak, while doing so. The Gorilla himself was practically run off the highway as someone cut into his lane causing him to swerve into the other lane, which in turn, caused that guy to almost hit someone else! Meanwhile, the guy whose fault it actually was, had the nerve to stick his middle finger out and curse at the Gorilla as he pulled along side. What was a Gorilla to do? The instinct of course, was to do it right back to him (and a much younger Gorilla would have done just that!), but what does that solve? Absolutely nothing, but it sure makes you feel a little less like a chump (or in this case a “chimp”). In the end, though, the aggressor still thinks he’s right and your wrong, and even if that’s not the case, the guy probably feels justified because he actually believes that everyone else is an idiot and not him!

No matter how you shake it, road rage is becoming a huge problem all over the globe. Case in point; in Aspen, Colorado, highway 82 is said to be the highway in that state with the most road rage incidents. Just last month there were over 2,000 calls from drivers reporting incidents of road rage on that highway alone! And the Gorilla read in news out of Texas this morning, that a 15 year old boy was shot and killed by another driver, who said the boy cut him off in traffic, which then led to an argument in which both men brandished guns. Yes, it’s true. Angry drivers are on the rise, but why, exactly?

Behaviorists have done extensive research on the subject and found that in studies of drivers, who were reportedly involved in road rage incidents, the same ”symptoms” were common in all the drivers involved; rapid heart rate, sweaty palms, increased anxiety and fear. But why? In the old days, people simply “turned the other cheek” to these incidents on the road (perhaps because there simply was not the amount of traffic?). That is not the case today. Researchers concluded that ”daily stresses of everyday life” were to blame, mostly. Well, that may be true, but the Gorilla has another theory to go along with these conclusions. It’s common sense to note that people these days are used to such instant gratification, that perhaps they have simply run out of patience! Hey, let’s face it….when people want something they can get it fairly quick. Gone are the days of waiting for a letter in the mail- there’s email! Gone are the days of waiting until your sweetie comes home to hear about his/her day- there are cell phones! Gone are the days of simply going to the library to get information- just log on to your computer and you get it NOW! It’s really no wonder that very few people have any patience any longer- after all why should we?

So, is the Gorilla suggesting that this ”impatience” is possibly being manifested on the road through  “road rage”? Why of course he is! After all, who wants to “wait” for the driver in front of you, to the side of you, or behind you to do anything but what YOU want, right then and there? One never has to wait for anything else these days, and unfortunately, the side platter to impatience is discourteousness. The Gorilla urges you to think about this one: When was the last time you were impatient? Were you courteous as a result of that impatience or were you rude? Most people would admit that when they get impatient they are also, in turn, rude. Thus, proving that patience, my friends, most assuredly is a virtue. Be safe and drive patiently, and yes, courteously. Down with the road rage!

What would you do if the state you lived in inadvertently mailed you a check for a large amount of money you knew you weren’t owed? Would you cash it immediately? After all it IS made out directly to you, right? Would you plan a trip? You would probably start to imagine the possibilities or at least have fun for a moment dreaming of those possibilities; at least the Gorilla admits he would. The state doesn’t make mistakes like that-or do they?

Well, a Utah man found out recently that they, in fact, do and it was to the tune of over $2 million dollars! The man received a check in the mail made out to him with his name and address on it for over $2 million. Luckily for the state, the man was honest and returned the check, but not before holding on to it for a few weeks to show friends. He thought it would be fun to dream about what he’d do with that much money. Hey, you can’t blame the guy!  So, how did this happen? Well, this is proof that to err certainly is human, because according to Francine Giani from the Department of commerce, the check was supposed to be made out for $15, as a refund for an overpayment made by the gentleman. Instead, one of the employees at the department wrote the 7 digit receipt number in the amount section of the check. ”We were certainly glad that he was an honest man,” Giani said. “Hopefully should this happen to anyone else, we would hope they would do the same thing.” Yeah, the Gorilla bets she does! The bottom line here? Well, honesty certainly is the best policy to be sure. In reality, the state most likely would have tracked its over $2 million dollar mistake and the man would have likely gone to jail for grand theft. Not to mention, the Gorilla is a big believer in the old saying, “what goes around comes around.” But, ah, what fun it would have been to have all that cash! A guy can dream, can’t he? Good for you Mr. Utah guy. Good for you!

The Gorilla woke up this Thanksgiving quite bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in anticipation of celebrating the holiday known as “Thanksgiving.” He pondered the thought of the wee little chimps in his family running around excitedly, while waiting to dine on mounds of turkey and all of the trimmings that would abound. He reflected on past Thanksgivings and smiled thinking about family members who no longer with him. He even took a moment to quietly reflect on all he is thankful for; his family, his friends, his health, his success. “So much to be thankful for”, he thought. Then like a record being abruptly scratched to a halt midway through a peaceful song, he read a headline which made him, quite frankly, angry.

It was about a Seattle School District, which apparently does not share in the same sentiment about the Thanksgiving holiday as the rest of us, and they sent out a memo to parents of students to prove it.  The memo, from Caprice Hollins, the district’s director of Equity, Race & Learning Support, included an attachment to a paper titled, “Deconstructing the Myths of ‘The First Thanksgiving.’” Included in these 11 ”myths” was everything from the food, which was really consumed (no mashed potatoes and cranberries), to Myth No. 3, which calls the colonists “rigid fundamentalists,” who came to the New World “fully intending to take the land away from its native inhabitants.” Myth No. 11 was perhaps the most guilt incurring one of all. It states that “Thanksgiving is a happy time.” It was followed by “Fact: For many Indian people, ‘Thanksgiving’ is a time of mourning … a bitter reminder of 500 years of betrayal returned for friendship.”  

The Gorilla is certainly not trivializing this fact whatsoever, but did anyone think to ask the Native Indians what they thought about all this? Well, yes actually, and one Seattle-area based tribe says that Thanksgiving, to them, holds exactly the same meaning as it does to most Americans; a time to celebrate family and what we are thankful for. David Tucker, a spokesman for the district, defended his district’s decision to send the letters stating that “it was an effort  to be sensitive to minorities in Seattle schools.” Really? The Gorilla feels that this could have been accomplished another way. The school district could have printed a brief history on what the Native Americans went through during this time in history and how their culture and contributions helped to mold and shape the very country that we now call “America.” It could have highlighted how very thankful we, as Americans, should be to these wonderful people and how, although we should never take for granted exactly how difficult it was for them, we should absolutely be THANKFUL that they did it at all. As for the Seattle school district, their “guilt” objective was the wrong approach to take in the Gorilla’s humble opinion. No one needs to be a kill-joy about a holiday that sets out to invoke the spirit of thankfulness in a nation which could use a little reminder of all that we have to be thankful for. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone and enjoy!

Well, it seems that we just can’t get away from scandalous church stories these days. If it’s not about the ridiculously lavish lifestyles of  Mega-church pastors, it’s about sexual misconduct in the church. Pardon the Gorilla, but aren’t churches supposed to be teaching us how to be better people? Aren’t these pastors supposed to be doing “God’s work” and setting the “gold standard” for others as to how to live a moral and upright existence? This is a joke, right? Are we all being punked? That is how the Gorilla felt when he heard this story out of Georgia today.

At the Cathedral of the Holy Spirit, Archbishop Earl Paulk admitted this week to having an affair with his brother’s wife, and fathering a child by her. This is after he already admitted in January to having an affair with a church employee for three years. The employee, whose name is Mona Brewer, is suing the Archbishop and several others in the church, because she claims that she was manipulated into an affair by Paulk, who claimed that it was her “only path to salvation.” During a deposition for this lawsuit, Paulk swore under oath that this was the only affair he had ever had, but when the Cobb County District Attorney’s Office called for a paternity test for Paulk to take, that lie was revealed in a big way. Paulk is now facing charges of perjury for lying under oath during that deposition.  

The 80-year-old church leader’s son, D.E. Paulk, who was thought all along to be his nephew, was named head pastor one year ago and since then, it doesn’t appear to be going so well for the guy. D.E. Paulk had this to say to his church members and the media: ”I am so very sorry for the collateral damage it has caused our family and the families hurt by the removing of the veil that hid our humanity and our sinfulness.” He said he was shocked, disappointed, and embarrassed to learn that the Archbishop was his father and not his uncle! The mega-church once claimed 10,000 members, but now reportedly, membership is down to a scant 1,500. The Gorilla is not surprised, and although he is not overtly religious, he thinks it might be common sense to reconsider putting more faith in your beliefs, rather than in a church leader (especially these days).

Just about everyone these days is familiar with the term “politically correct.”   The Gorilla advocates this belief to a point, but we all know that there are cases of political correctness that can go awry or just plain overboard. This morning’s story out of Dayton, Ohio, however, is NOT the case. The Ohio Christian Alliance and the State Republican Party are calling for an apology from its state attorney general, Marc Dann. So, what exactly did Mr. Dann say that  was so horrible and shocking? In a comment sent by email to his director of communications, Leo Jennings, Mr. Dann wrote that “Jesus had it better on good Friday.” (He was referring to some recent bad press his communications director had previously received.)Naturally, in an unfortunate turn of events for Mr. Dann and company, the Dayton Daily News somehow obtained a copy of the email and published it. Soon after, as one might have expected, the fallout began. The Ohio Christian Alliance demanded an apology, as did the Ohio Republican Party. Both groups are asking for an immediate retraction to the comment. You see, Dann is Jewish. Thus, this certainly doesn’t help his case since it appears to be a slam to Christians. Jennings, who is a Christian, said the comments were not offensive to him in any way and stated that ”he understood that the remark is in no way reflective of the Attorney General’s philosophy or principles.” The two have been friends for more than 20 years and Jennings further defended his friend by saying, “Marc cherishes his own faith and is deeply respectful, considerate, and tolerant of the religious beliefs held by others.” But Jewish or not, the Gorilla fells that this is juts an irresponsible comment. The Gorilla feels that no matter what religion you are, or what your stance is, aren’t we all smart enough to know by now that you don’t put anything in an email that you wouldn’t want to reach the public’s eye? This is particularly true if you are in any kind of political arena or in a position of authority. Any way you look at it, the comment was simply dumb. Sorry, but the Gorilla feels that even if Attorney General Dann was kidding, the comment was just plain offensive, rude and yes, DUMB! Hopefully he will have the common sense never to do it again and to make a public apology.

We live in one of the greatest countries in the world and are exposed to some of the greatest opportunities in the world and yes, we Americans are spoiled. We have access to almost everything and anything we need. In addition, all the foods we could possibly want to eat are right at our fingertips. Unlike many starving nations, food is extremely accessible to us pretty much 24/7. The result? We Americans are fat. In fact, we are the fattest nation in the world according to recent studies. You’ve seen what an over-indulged lazy, spoiled child looks like right? Well, right now that is how most U.S. citizens look. It’s simply shameful.

Two-thirds of adult Americans are overweight or obese; the same is true for one-third of U.S. children, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Obesity is now the number one health crisis in the U.S., and may cause a myriad of problems, including heart disease, diabetes, hypertension and arthritis. So, what are Americans doing about it? Well, former president Bill Clinton made this comment about obesity; “We need to do something about it for our children, and for our country, because something like this could easily collapse our nation if we don’t act now.” Clinton, and CNN’s chief medical correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, gathered with experts on Wednesday to explore the issue and try to come up with solutions to the crisis. They will be addressing issues such as healthier school lunches, elimination of trans-fats, and the need for healthier food in urban communities and community-based efforts to fight obesity. The Gorilla applauds these efforts, but believes that to fight obesity, it must also take place within the home. Let’s get those kids (and for that matter adults too), playing outdoors, walking more often, and let’s get off of computers and video games. It’s not rocket science people! Like Nike says, “Just Do It.” (It’s a pretty funny sight to see a big Gorilla jogging on the sidewalk. People tend to step aside, but hey, even Gorillas must stay active!)