GorillaOffTopic, Everything But Gorilla Trades

If you are one of the many fans who will gather with a group of your closest friends on Super Bowl Sunday to party like a rock star, while watching the Patriots and the Giants duke it out, you may want to pay close attention. Gone are the days when it was sufficient to just put out a bowl of chips and dip and order a couple of pizzas and some beer. The new, ever-growing trend is to step it up a few notches and throw a Super Bowl party with some class.

Now, when the Gorilla heard this he giggled a bit because the very idea of a Super Bowl party having an element of class seems-well, silly. Now don’t get the Gorilla wrong here folks, he is certainly not knocking the game of football whatsoever. And, he would never insinuate that there is no “class” in football either, but ut c’mon folks. Let’s get real here. When people think of Super Bowl Sunday, they don’t exactly think of champagne and Caviar. It’s more like sweaty men, a lot of yelling and grunting (from both the men and women) and the pungent smell of beer in the air. And that suits the Gorilla just fine!

But no, this doesn’t seem to cut it any longer, and in recent years the Super Bowl Parties the Gorilla has been invited to seem to get swankier and swankier. (One party in recent years even had servers in Tuxs, a band, and dancers dressed as cheerleaders for both teams!) It seems as if this year’s host is trying to out-do last year’s. Well, hey, that’s okay, as long as you are the guest and not the host, right? 

This year, the Gorilla has the distinct pleasure of being the host of his own Super Bowl Party and it seems that everyone has their two cents to put in about how to do it, too. The Gorilla has heard from many self proclaimed Super Bowl party “experts” on what to do and how to do it best. While the advice is appreciated, it puts an element of pressure on the Gorilla that had never occurred to him before. Instead of carelessly thinking that he can just buy some chips and dip, serve some beer, and turn on his big screen to sell it all, that apparently will not do.

So now that the bar has been raised, how is the Gorilla supposed to compete with dancers and a band? The answer of course, is he can’t! Not to mention he won’t! Why? Well simply because the Gorilla refuses to give into the pressure to keep up with the Jones’ Super Bowl extravaganza! He believes that it’s not about the hoopla, or the expense you went to, but it is just about being with good friends and being ultimately, yourself! So, what will the Gorilla do for his big Super Bowl party? Well, first off, it will be relatively small, but since this primate does in fact have class, he will be serving New England Clam Chowder and Lobster dip (in honor of the Patriots) and Reubens and New York style pizza (in honor of the Giants.) Whatever you decide, just remember that good friends make a party- and not necessarily big spending! Enjoy!

You’ve heard the rumors about the dangers of radiation emissions from using cell phones, but until now, scientists were only speculating. According to the British Newspaper, the Independent, new research has linked the over-usage of cell phones to symptoms such as confusion, headaches, and even insomnia. The Gorilla can admit that he himself had a few headaches after using his cell phone too much (when he used to carry one…more about that below), so this news is not really all that surprising to him. Scientists studying 35 men and 35 women found that using the phones before bed delays and shortens the deep stages of sleep—the part of sleep that allows the brain and body to repair and rejuvenate from the day’s wear and tear. In children and teens, the study found that using their cell phones late at night before bed can even cause depression, mood swings, ADHD-like symptoms, and can impair concentration and judgement. (So basically it can magnify your teen’s already testy behavior!)

Several weeks ago, the Gorilla reported that the Starbucks coffee chain was experiencing sort of a tough time in business of late, due to several factors. The factors included over saturation, high prices, and increasing costs. Customers have been crossing the street to get to the much cheaper competition, who seemed to have a better value. The Gorilla is, of course talking about McDonald’s, who happens to have delicious coffee for a much cheaper price than many of the other chains. This is not just the opinion of the Gorilla, who happens to be a huge Starbucks fan, but coffee sales at the golden arches have spoken for themselves, and are projected to boost overall revenue at McDonald’s for the coming year by nearly 2%. alone! Not to mention, McDonald’s is planning on opening “coffee bars” in each of its locations and is planning on capitalizing on the gourmet coffee market- giving the big green coffee magnate a run for it’s money. 

So, true to it’s aggressive opportunistic nature, Starbucks isn’t taking the news lying down. They are now advertising $1 per cup coffee and free refills at all of their locations, with the intention of undercutting whatever the competition has in mind. The suggested retail price for a small 12 oz. premium roast at McDonald’s is $1.07, and at Dunkin’ Donuts it’s $1.39 for a 10 oz. small.  It is a clever and necessary strategy to be sure, but the Gorilla wonders…will the cheaper prices help Starbucks keep it’s loyal customers? Well, it certainly can’t hurt- that is for sure! The current economy is weighing heavily on consumers’ pocketbooks, which is the reason some of them have been frequenting the much cheaper competition. But you must admit, it is a sacrifice to have to go over to the much less “homey” environment of the competition; after all, people don’t just frequent Starbucks because of it’s fabulous coffee, that part is a given.

Starbucks offers so much more than that. It offers something that people crave; the warmth and coziness of a friendly smile, and a comfortable couch or a soft leather armchair to have a seat in. And even if you don’t have time to have a seat at their stores, Starbuck’s, unlike the cheaper competition, has nothing to do but sell coffee and a smile, so their customer service is second to none. So, should America sellout to the coldness and value of the other coffee connoisseur wannabees? The Gorilla hopes they don’t, because Starbucks is like an American institution when it comes to coffee, and it would be a shame to lose it just because the “big guy” decides to get in on the action! (Don’t get the Gorilla wrong- he loves McDonald’s business model!)

  The Gorilla loves a good movie. In fact, a movie that gets the Gorilla’s blood pumping is (pun intended) just the ticket! Movie-going is one of the Gorilla’s favorite past times. But when the Gorilla goes to a movie, he certainly doesn’t want to get sick! Today when the Gorilla went to see a movie, he was surprised to see a sign that was posted for the adrenaline thriller film “Cloverfield.” The sign was a warning to viewers that the movie may make them nauseous because of the rollercoaster-like camera effects. Apparently, many viewers of the movie complained of nausea due to the unusual camera angles used during the filming. The action packed thriller is shot from the perspective of five young New Yorkers, using a home video camera to shoot footage of a Godzilla-like monster who invades, and then takes over, the city. 

Never before in history have we seen such a diverse group of presidential hopefuls. That is not to say that this group is all that diverse in general, but as compared to any other time in history, it is the most diverse it’s ever been. Thus, it begs the question, will this race, be about just that; race? Will it be about gender? Maybe some see it as being about who will be the best man or woman to get our fledgling economy in shape, or who will finally pull our troops, once and for all, out of Iraq. How about the candidate who wants to lower our taxes (don’t they all claim to want to do that?) Whatever your reasoning, the Gorilla can certainly say one thing is for sure; there are many choices for the American people right now, and it seems there is a candidate to fill just about anyone’s needs. That is not to say that there is a candidate for each and EVERY preference, but suffice it to say, there’s a lot to choose from in this 2008 election. 

This blog entry is certainly not an “opinion column,” about who is right for the job or who the Gorilla prefers. The object here is to just state the obvious and nothing more. The Gorilla is certainly not an expert in the field of politics. Voters will decide for themselves who they should choose. However, while watching the debates, the Gorilla, along with many Americans, couldn’t help but notice the diverseness of the candidates- and no, not in race or gender alone, but simply in their points of views and platforms. Certainly, there are standouts, but the fact is, no two candidates are alike this time around. It seems to represent actually, the truly diverse nature of what is everything American. These candidates seem to come from all walks of life! We have several lawyers, an actor (this wouldn’t be the first time!), a broadcaster, a minister, a few career politicians, a doctor, a former POW, a couple of former Governors, and a well-known former mayor. All of the candidates are well educated, and as many presidential hopefuls often do, some of them have written several (or more) books. And although Hilary is the only female this time around, Obama is not the only black candidate. There is another who is not as well known. There are 13 candidates altogether, so the choices are certainly there.

It is only a matter of doing your research and finding the guy or gal who suits your individual preferences. But whatever the case, just be sure to get educated, be informed as to who stands for what, and vote. We are the most blessed nation on the globe and we are afforded privileges that most other nations are not.  So make sure to exercise your right and get involved! Each and every one of us makes a difference! (Once again, it is a funny sight to see a gorilla at the polls…only in America do they let a primate vote!) It is quite hard for him to fit in the voting booths and usually a furry foot is sticking out! Hmm. Maybe the Gorilla should run for office…he certainly gets enough attention! His platform? Well of course, one of them would be “save the rainforests.” And one would probably be fighting for gorilla rights

It’s rare that the Gorilla laughs out loud upon hearing a funny story, but today’s headline took the cake. For once, the Gorilla is not writing about annoying people with cell phones, or the latest technology. Instead, he is writing about something more lighthearted- a kitten! Over the last couple of days, a Florida woman, 24 year-old Kelley Levy, was mourning the loss of her adorable 10 month old kitten. No, the cat didn’t die, but it was missing for days, so the woman was losing hope. 

The cat, whose name is Gracie Mae, went missing the day she took her husband to the airport. When the woman arrived at home, the kitten wasn’t in her usual spot at the bottom of the stairs, so she tore the house apart, looking for the female kitten, who had just been spayed days before she went missing. Kelley’s dad even came over to tear into the bathroom wall, where it was thought the kitten may have gained entry through a small hole.

When they came up with nothing, they were quickly losing hope. They even posted “lost cat signs,” but to no avail. Then, the next morning, a funny thing happened. The phone rang and a stranger on the other end said in a cheerful voice, ” you don’t know me, and you’re not going to believe this, but I accidentally picked up your husband’s suitcase at the airport, and when I opened it up,  out jumped a kitten!” The man, who was from Texas, claimed he screamed when the kitten surprised him by jumping out of the suitcase. “I went to unpack and saw some of the clothes and saw it wasn’t my suitcase,” he said. “I was going to close it, and a kitten jumped out and ran under the bed. I screamed like a little girl.” 

He said when the kitten jumped out it nearly scared him to death. The man got the phone number from the kitten’s collar and called Kelley to give her the news. The woman was obviously relieved, and the cat (and the suitcase) were returned to their rightful owners. Here’s a bit of advice from the Gorilla: Watch out when you are packing for a trip; the Gorilla’s small dog almost inadvertently traveled in a suitcase once as well! Could it be they don’t want us to go?

Recall if you will, the Gorilla talking about the problem of obesity in this country. Just to refresh your memory It is a sad statistic. Over two-thirds of Americans are either overweight or obese. With numbers such as these, there needs to be major changes made, and now is the time! Well, changes have been on the horizon for a long time and now we are finally starting to see them in front of our eyes! Many of you who eat at McDonald’s may have become aware of the fact that, for the last several years, the fast food giant has been printing the nutritional information on the back of their menus. That is a good idea considering that studies show that 9 out of 10 people underestimate the number of calories in a meal. What McDonald’s has done is certainly a great start and very helpful- that is if you bothered to flip the menu (which also doubles as a place mat) over to look. Many people the Gorilla has spoken to say they weren’t aware of this information. So for those people, McDonald’s wasted their efforts.

Well, now, for the first time ever in history, starting in New York City, some of that valuable nutritional information will be posted directly on the menu boards next to the food item. Wow! What a great way to be reminded and aware of how many calories we are consuming each time we eat fast food! The idea was put into effect by the New York City Board of Health, which voted unanimously to require not just McDonald’s, but all city chain restaurants to post the data on their menu boards. The Department of Health argued in October that “calorie information provided at the time of food selection would enable New Yorkers to make more informed, healthier choices.” The hope is that the more than 54% of New Yorkers who are obese will be able to make better, more informed decisions with their food choices, thus encouraging healthier lifestyles with the menu postings. 

Of course, this new mandate did not come about without a fight. The New York Restaurant Association sued the Board of Health in an attempt to block the measure, claiming it would violate their members’ First Amendment rights. But for now, it stands and the change will begin on March 31st. It will affect restaurants with 15 or more outlets. According to the city’s health department, that’s roughly 10% of all city restaurants. So, will we see other states follow suit? Hopefully we will, but for now, it’s just good to see the fast food chains doing the same thing that some Subway’s and Quizno’s restaurants have been doing for quite a while now!

How often do you lie? The Gorilla really wants you to think about this question. Be honest now! Okay- all kidding aside. All of us lie at some point or another and for various reasons but why do we do it? Now, you may hear the word “lie” and immediately think of someone other than yourself. But c’mon now, it is almost impossible to be a human being (or a primate!) and not tell at least one lie every now and then! Here’s a scenario: Your young child’s grandmother ,who they love and adore, is dying. Your kids see that she is sick and they ask you if she is dying, to which you reply, “no.” You are simply trying to protect them as many people do. Or how about the little white lie many men tell their wives when they are asked if she “looks fat.” Now, fellas, the Gorilla doesn’t have to educate all of you as to the “why’s” of that scenario, now does he?  Yes, it’s true. Even the most honest well intended people tell- at least little white lies- on occasion.Well, let’s shed some light on this controversial subject, shall we? Bella DePaulo is a visiting professor at the University of California at Santa Barbara ,and her research is in lying and other forms of deception. She claims that lying is not always intended for personal gain, such as wealth or getting ahead in a job, but mostly for psychological reasons.  We lie, she says, because we want other people to see us the way we wish we were, to spare others’ feelings or to avoid conflict. According to DePaulo, there are two types of lies:

When you send your kids to public school, you are not supposed to worry about whether or not they are being sufficiently educated. At least that is what we tend to want to believe anyway. However, new studies actually show that because of excessive  teachers’ absences, you probably should worry. These studies show that between kindergarten and twelfth grade, your kids will spend an entire year with substitute teachers. The reason? Well it isn’t simply because of a few teachers being home with the flu. Instead it’s because of schools’ use of substitutes to plug full-time vacancies — the teachers that kids are supposed to have all year — is up dramatically. Although this doesn’t seem like a big deal to some, consider that Duke University economist Charles Clotfelter, had this to say: “Many times substitutes don’t have the plan in front of them. They don’t have all the behavioral expectations that the regular teachers have established, so it’s basically a holding pattern.”  More troubling is the fact that recent research suggests that teacher absences lead to lower test scores, even when subs fill in. This is important because new education law now penalizes schools for too few students meeting testing benchmarks.

So, what is the problem with these subs? Well, the Gorilla asked that question as well, and the answer is simple; in almost every state, substitute teachers are required to have little or no background in teaching. So in essence, subs act like glorified babysitters to our kids and very few actually teach the required lesson plan in the teacher’s absence. (We all know that we spent a lot of time trying our best to take advantage of a “free period”. At least the Gorilla did when he was a wee chimp-hey. After all, he’s only a primate!) Make no mistake though, it is not only parents and teachers who are unsettled about this issue, substitutes themselves want improvements. This is according to Jeffrey Smith, director of the Substitute Teaching Institute at Utah State University, which provides training to substitutes and schools. “They will be the first to say, ‘I wish we had more competent lesson plans left. I wish we had better control of the students,’” Smith says.

Today, the Gorilla’s message is simple: Adopt a pet from your local Humane Society or animal shelter! If you are one of the many people who purchase your pets from breeders, take a minute to consider this: The Gorilla heard an alarming statistic yesterday on the local news and it really surprised him. The story was an informative one, about our cute furry little friends, who occupy our animal shelters across the nation. Now, most of you are certainly aware of the problem, but did you know that on average, 5-9 million animals are euthanized every year? Of these, 60% are dogs and 70% are cats. Of course these are only estimates and the percentages may vary from state to state, but this number is very high. 

You may be thinking “well this is certainly nothing new,” but these are the 2006 estimates and since then, unfortunately, due to all the recent home forclosures, those number have jumped 15-20% in the past 6 months! Folks, this is an alarming jump in such a short time, and that number is expected to rise in the next few weeks or months.   
So, how high are the foreclosure numbers? Many of you have probably been following the real estate news and are well aware. For those of you who aren’t, here’s how it breaks down: A total of 149,150 foreclosure filings — default notices, auction sale notices, and bank repossessions — were reported during the month, up 7% from an adjusted February total, and up 47% from a year ago. The report also shows a national foreclosure rate of one foreclosure filing for every 775 U.S. households during the month.

It’s not difficult to figure out that when people with animals lose their homes and are forced to move (into apartments that do not allow pets in many cases), the animals are often placed in a local shelter, thus subjecting the shelter to overcrowding, forcing the facility to euthanize in many cases. The report indicated that overcrowding of the shelters is at an all-time high. Folk, these animals lost the contentment and security of having a home and they need our help! Now is the time to consider it. These animal cannot speak for themselves, but many of us have the ability to rescue them from a terrible fate if we so choose. The Gorilla himself already has 3  animals in the home (4 if you include the Gorilla!), but his family has made a decision to adopt another in light of this unusual time in history. There are about 5000 community animal shelters nationwide, so it’s easy to find one in your area. For more info, you can call your local Humane Society or go to www.hsus.org for more information. Good luck, and thank you to all of you who adopt pets from local shelters!