GorillaOffTopic, Everything But Gorilla Trades

Where exactly are school teachers coming from these days? Some of them are acting downright inappropriate, saying things and doing things they would never have said and done even 10 years ago. It seems that a breakdown in judgement has occurred and the Gorilla wonders: is there any going back to the “old school” methods of etiquette for our esteemed educators? Let the Gorilla explain.

Old school teachers= strict disciplinary measures, tougher rules, and morally sound behavior on the part of the teachers.  New school teachers= limited disciplinary measures (not politically correct), less rules (kids can bring cell phones to school), and immoral behavior on the part of the teachers (teachers saying and doing things that cross the lines).Every day the Gorilla hears about another teacher acting inappropriately with his/her students. The worst acts are committed when teachers have affairs with, or seduce, students. (Who could forget such colorful characters as Debra LaFave or Mary Kay Letourno?) But, just as heinous, is when a teacher physically abuses or hurts a student. Or how about when a teacher just makes an inappropriate comment to a student? These occurrences happen everyday, but go mostly unnoticed and unpunished. But how do we monitor what teachers should be allowed to say or not to say? And what dialogue is considered inappropriate?

If you are one of the millions of people who consume diet drinks each day, you may want to listen up. New research shows that people who drink diet drinks containing artificial sweeteners may actually gain weight!  The fact of the matter is, drinks that are sweetened artificially are designed to keep weight down, but studies involving lab rats, who consumed them in food, actually ended up consuming more calories, gained more weight, and put on more body fat than the rats who were given foods sweetened with glucose. 

Well, this certainly makes sense to the Gorilla; after all, he is a big consumer of diet drinks and artificial sweeteners. Now, even the Gorilla must say that he experienced this phenomenon personally. How? Well funny you should ask! It is because of the fact that like many of you, it is a way to tell our minds that “hey, this is a low cal drink/snack/food, so I can consume more calories in other foods today!” Think about it now people, you may not even be consciously aware that you are doing it, but research proves it! (And, the last time the Gorilla checked- rats aren’t liars- they are just rats!)  

Susan Swithers and Terry Davidson, are the ones who conducted the experiments, and they have suggested that by breaking the connection between a sweet sensation and high-calorie food, the use of saccharine changes the body’s ability to regulate how many calories it consumes. “The data clearly indicate that consuming a food sweetened with no-calorie saccharine can lead to greater body-weight gain and adiposity than would consuming the same food sweetened with a higher-calorie sugar.” Their conclusion and report is to be published in the journal of Behavioral Neuroscience. This news is probably somewhat disheartening to doctors, nutritionists and personal weight trainers, who (like the Gorilla) have been recommending (and using) the low-cal alternatives for years now, as a means to have their patients/clients cut calories! Many people have relied on this method- but think about it; the epidemic of obesity happens to (coincidentally?) correspond with the popularity of low-calorie soft drinks.

So, should we take the advice the Europeans have been giving us for years and years? You know, the advice that all-natural is a much better way to go! Dr. Oz- America’s leading cardiologist, has said that the body will have a tough time digesting and processing what it does not recognize! Sugar has been around for thousands of years and the body knows how to process it. Perhaps we should take a look at the very low rates of obesity among Europeans (in comparison to the U.S.) and get a clue!

How many people do you know that own, and rely on, that handy little device we call the “BlackBerry?” If you are like the Gorilla, you probably know plenty of them. Many people consider this clever device their lifeblood and simply can’t live without it. Well, BlackBerry users everywhere experienced a bit of a ”Blackout” yesterday, as service was down for a couple of hours. RIM’S network has about 12 million subscribers and you know as well as the Gorilla, a couple of hours in a blackberry user’s life seems like much longer to them than to the rest of the world! There were probably some really ticked off subscribers!

The disruption affected most email capabilities and some Internet capabilities to many BlackBerry users. Research in Motion said in a statement yesterday, that subscribers “may be unable to send or receive messages” and may also be unable to “register their device, roam in another location, or use other services such as Internet browsing.” The company also said that voice and SMS services were not affected.

Okay, so it wasn’t a total loss for the two hours! The service disruption started at 3:10 PM ET, and was caused by a downed server, affecting subscribers in North America. It wasn’t the first time this has happened with the BlackBerry service and perhaps it won’t be the last. (A scary thought to you BlackBerry users!) The same kind of server problem occurred in April and September of 2007. Ouch! Hey, the Gorilla has a question;  ”Is two hours long enough to start having ‘BlackBerry’ withdrawals?”

More and more these days, the Gorilla hears new stories about negligent occurrences at hospitals, and each time, he is more shocked than the last! There have been stories about surgeons performing brain surgeries on the wrong side of the brain; nurses giving the wrong medications and killing or critically injuring patients (remember the recent Dennis Quaid twins incident?); and yes, we’ve all heard this one a time or two…babies being switched at birth and going home with the wrong parents! (Haven’t they perfected newborn identification by NOW?)

Some of the stories are simply unbelievable, but this news story really takes the cake. In Australia this week, a woman was admitted to the Ballarat Hospital in Victoria, because of a miscarriage she suffered. And if that wasn’t distressing enough, she could not have anticipated that the worst was still yet to come. The woman was gathering her personal belongings, preparing to check out. When she looked through her overnight bag, she found a package with her name on it, so she opened it. To her extreme shock and horror that bag contained her almost 19 week old miscarried fetus. The fetus was inadvertently placed in her bag by a hospital staff member. Yes, you heard correctly, someone on the hospital staff, placed the unborn fetus in the woman’s bag. The woman found the fetus- who was approximately 19 weeks old- wrapped in a towel and placed in a plastic bag. Unbeknownst to the woman, she opened the plastic bag wondering what it was, and was appalled to find her own unborn child.

Now, you are probably wondering the same thing the Gorilla is wondering; how in the world can a hospital employee make such an ignorant mistake? Are people truly that stupid? Apparently, this is not the first negligent incident in the hospital’s history, but how and why could a person make such an obvious mistake? The incident is one of a string of lawsuits against the hospital in Ballarat, in Victoria, Australia, in the past two months. But Ballarat Health Services say there is “no cause for alarm.” Really? Someone places a dead baby into an already grieving mother’s belongings for her to find, and this is “no cause for alarm?”

Well, if this is no cause for alarm, then the Gorilla would like to know exactly what does constitute a cause for alarm? Perhaps hospitals should have more regularly scheduled staff meetings to discuss the obviously waning astuteness, which is so frequent these days among its employees; or perhaps the laws need to be reformed regarding medical personnel and proper protocol and procedures therein. Whatever the method, could someone please do something? The Gorilla does believe that these are relatively isolated incidents, and that for the most part, medical personnel are pretty much on the ball at most hospitals. In fact, in every hospital experience the Gorilla has ever had to endure in his area, the hospital staff was completely on task, informative, and fantastic, so rest assured you are most likely in good hands no matter which hospital you might choose. But this story is both sad and ”bizarre,” and it leaves the Gorilla wondering, ”what will be next?”

The real estate market is tough right now to say the least. At least for sellers. And if you are a seller- your home better be simply perfect, with the unbelievable competition that’s out there right now. And don’t get the Gorilla wrong, but would a dead corpse hanging in a closet make you want to buy a house?  Well, one seller didn’t exactly think about that, and nor did he care. In fact, he left himself hanging dead in the closet of his home, while prospective buyers were looking around during an open house! Make no mistake here; The Gorilla is certainly not trying to make light of this very tragic scenario, but it’s a tough market out there and the guy requested the open house, and then hung himself right before it started to show!  

Apparently, the 48 year old man was devastated over the recent loss of his mother and told a neighbor that there were just “too many memories” in the home. But to hang yourself right before the start of an open house? The poor fella must have given this one some thought! The realtor who discovered the body is still trying to recover from the shock of the incident. He was in the middle of a showing with several interested parties involved, when he opened the closet door and found the man hanging. The realtor quietly ushered everyone out of the home and locked the door and called police. He is being praised for the way he handled the situation by his employer. Now that’s a case of “buyers beware” if the Gorilla ever heard one!   

Ahh! The Gorilla remembers fondly playing video games when he was just a young chimp. We’re talking over 30 years ago. They were archaic and primitive, but we loved them. There was no X-Box or Playstation back then. Instead we had Atari and Odyssey and then later on- Nintendo. There were games like Donkey Kong, Pac Man, Tetris, and Frogger, and we loved them all!

The Gorilla’s personal favorite was Ms. Pac Man, and he remembers playing for hours on end, hoping to break through the high scorer’s record. He never did, but there was always that hope that somehow, he could set a new record. There were probably hundreds of thousands, of others who surely felt the same way- no matter what their favorite game was! In fact, there are probably many present-day “gamers” who would love to do the very same thing, whether it be in Halo, Mortal Kombat, Grand Theft Auto, or even Mario. Whatever your game, you always hope to beat the current high scorer’s record or- simply beat the game! It’s a gamer’s best scenario to be sure. 

Well, apparently, Guinness felt that way too, so they created the first ever “Gamers Edition” of the Guinness Book of World Records. The Gorilla is almost embarrassed to admit it, but when he read the news, he was actually pretty excited about it! Finally, gamers all over the world could feel vindicated for all of the hours and hours spent playing relentlessly trying to beat someone else’s record! In addition to the lists of high scorers for each individual game, the highlights in the new book will include: the biggest selling game of all time; the highest grossing one-day sale of a video game; the most guest stars on a video game; the largest virtual beer-fest and many more interesting facts.

Okay, so maybe to some it is a just a lot of useless information, but to others (like the Gorilla) it is a fun and interesting compilation of names, dates, and facts about what was, and still is, one of life’s little pleasures-playing games. The Gorilla plans on looking in the book for his Ms. Pac Man nemesis, “T. Edwards”, who always had the highest score!

Throughout history there have been many great female leaders. So many women have influenced the world, and yet, despite the fact that the United States has had more freedom of choice than any other country in  the world, we have been relatively slow to catch on. If you look over the history of world leaders there have been dozens of female Prime Ministers, several Presidents, Queens, military leaders etc.

Remember Joan of Arc? She was just fifteen when she led hundreds of men in a victorious battle during the Hundred Years War. She was barely a woman, and yet she is one of the most memorable women in history. Now it is true that there have been many socially and economically influential women throughout U.S. history, but very few (until recently), who have been in great political positions of authority. Yes, we have had in recent times, Condoleeza Rice, and Madeleine Albright, but let’s face it folks, we have not exactly warmed to the idea until recent times. Why? Well perhaps it is because those staunch conservatives who founded this great country, were all men.

No offense to our founding fathers, but they weren’t called the “Founding Mothers.” These were a bunch of guys, who didn’t exactly advocate women being in positions of authority. Betsy Ross got lucky by having the great privilege of creating our beautiful American flag, but she only received those accolades because of her fantastic ability to sew! She was certainly not considered to be a “leader” even though her bold creation is the very fabric that is literally sewn into our American culture and daily life.

And who could forget Helen Keller or Harriet Tubman? These women were innovators and helped to create some of our greatest American history. So why are we still so afraid to put a woman in total control? Why can’t we Americans follow the lead of other great nations such as Great Britain, Israel, or Pakistan? Even the Philippines currently has a female President. So, why do we Americans still have such a hard time accepting a woman in these authoritative positions? Now this is not just an assumption on the Gorilla’s part. This is what the Gorilla, as well as many of you, have been hearing lately from others. Many people- both male and female- still seem to believe that making Hilary Clinton our President would be taking a big risk and that somehow, she is just not as “strong” as a man would be. This is literally what the Gorilla heard someone say the other day. (And it wasn’t the first time!) Now, don’t get the Gorilla wrong here, he is NOT campaigning for Hilary. He is simply just stating the obvious. Is the Gorilla saying he would vote for Hilary Clinton? Well, no, not necessarily, but if not, it would have absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she is a woman. She has had more experience than most, and she has been absolutely touted as being as competent as any man (and in some cases, much more competent!)  This is certainly the most interesting time in U.S. history for women.

If Hilary Clinton does become president, that would mean that we would have three women in three very high powered political positions at once in the U.S.: Condoleeza Rice, as Secretary of State, Nancy Pelosi, as Speaker of the House of Representatives, and Hilary as President? Well, we shall see, but for now folks Super Tuesday is over, and it looks like the race for President is on! Whatever your choice, just remember, when the time comes, get out there and vote. You are helping to shape history by doing so!

Yes, it’s true the Gorilla is a huge TV buff. And hey, what can you say? There’s some really good shows to watch on the tube these days. Look, you have some nice looking housewives, crime scene investigators, legal shows, shows about Vegas (the Gorilla never tires of that one), shows about psychics, vampire shows, and that’s just to name a few. Never in history has there been such diverse programming to choose from on the Tele.. the problem? Well, no writers of course.

It doesn’t do us a lot good to have all of these great shows, if you have nobody to write the new episodes now does it? Even Letterman had to be put on hold for awhile, until they brought themselves off strike. (Thank goodness!) But yes, the Gorilla understands the writers standpoint completely, and of course, he totally supports these talented folks- and without them, we’d have little to look forward to. Imagine not having the cleverly imagined law scenarios on ‘Boston Legal,’ or not having the very cute and entertaining jargon of ‘Pushing Daisies.’ Or how about the drama on ‘Entourage’ or the comedic relief of ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm?’ What a boring contemplation! Yes, thank goodness for the writers; those creative geniuses who make our lives so much more entertaining! 

So, is the strike almost over? There is speculation and rumors that negotiations and talks are heading towards a resolution hopefully in time for the February 24th Oscar show. (Oh my, what would we do without our red carpet this year?) So, will the writers be properly compensated for their tremendous efforts? And what exactly are the terms to the negotiations? The Gorilla did his homework and here’s what he found out: the toughest issues were concerning compensation for projects distributed via the Internet. While the specifics were not disclosed, the proposal agreement is believed to include significant increases in the residuals that writers receive for online use of movies and TV shows. This will also include a deal with The Directors Guild of America to increase residuals for some paid Internet downloads and for ad-supported streaming of programs. But keep in mind that these are just informal talks, which are meant to act as a substitute for formal negotiations between writers and the Alliance for Motion Pictures, which broke off on December 7th.

Although the Guild and studios have repeatedly declined any comment on the talks, stars who attended the recent Academy Awards luncheon on Monday, seem optimistic that it will be resolved in time for their beloved February 24th event. Hmm. Could this simply be wishful thinking on the part of the celebrities, who wait all year long for the red carpet glam and glitz? No one knows for sure (except for those who are negotiating), but all the Gorilla knows is that he wants his shows back!  Hey America- don’t you?

Whether you are sitting on your porch swing in Florida, or driving to work in the snow in New Jersey, this morning, remember something; you are lucky to be here! People in China are not so lucky these days, as the state of the world there, is not so good. Last week, the Gorilla read about an overcrowded train station in China, in which hundreds- even thousands- of people were stranded, as the weather overtook the railways, keeping trains from running, and leaving would-be travelers frustrated and angry. People were getting trampled and the crowds became almost unmanageable. 

It probably wouldn’t be so bad if there weren’t record low temperatures and blizzard conditions for the last couple of weeks in China. Brutal weather has pounded China’s central, eastern, and southern sections since January 10th.  Add to that the fact that it is the Chinese New Year beginning on February 6, and many Chinese people wait all year long to see their families in this coming week. It is a Chinese tradition to spend the last week of the year with family, and many of these travelers are migrant workers, who work in misery all year long without a break, and look forward to this time off to spend with relatives.

The weather has been dangerous, and with blizzard conditions all week long, not conducive to travel whatsoever. Most trains have been delayed and some have been stopped from running all together. As a result, the Chinese government is asking the estimated 178 million migrant workers to forgo their travel plans this year, saying that it is the worst weather in 50 years, and it is expected to get worse. The brutal weather is expected to pummel the country at least for another 3 days. The workers toil in factories all year long and for some, it is the only bright spot they have to look forward the entire year.

On Thursday, crowds at the train stations did thin, but only slightly.  Masses of desperate travelers took advantage of the break in the weather and crammed into buses to help them escape from their misery and take them home to their families. They are the lucky ones, since the power has been down in the railway system and some had been waiting for more that 40 hours in hope of catching a train out. Power was finally restored, but only temporarily. So far, the Government has persuaded over 450,000 people to forgo their travel plans, and accept refunds for their train tickets. The weather has paralyzed transportation, frozen the power grid, killed at least 63 people, and delivered a $4.5 billion blow to the economy- an economy already suffering from record high inflation and economic pressures galore.

The weather has also destroyed most of China’s crops, causing food prices to skyrocket, and the inability to transport goods around the country has further inflated prices and led to shortages at most stores.  Still, every hassle is worth it if you can make it home in time for the holiday, worker Jim Hui told CNN. “It is our Chinese tradition to go home and reunite with the family — especially in the last day of the year — having dinner with my parents,” he said. His wife, Hu Yie Chen, added: “Because we left the village and we spend the whole year working in the city, the money saved is really needed to share with the family.” The Gorilla cannot stress enough to everyone to count your blessings and think of all the good people in China, who are suffering right now.  That icy, stressful drive to work may be tough, but at least you have the ability and the means to get there!

New York, like so many other states, is in debt. How in debt are they? Well how about $4.4 billion to be exact! That’s a lot of debt to pay off, so how then does one go about doing that exactly? Governor Eliot Spitzer has a plan, and actually, it’s a pretty good one if you ask the Gorilla. The Governor plans to creatively re-define flavored alcoholic beverages -such as Mike’s Hard Lemonade and Smirnoff Ice- calling them liquor instead of beer, and re-defining little cigars, as cigarettes, thus increasing tax revenue to the state. Clever? Perhaps, but certainly nothing new as far as creativeness goes. States have been “creatively” inventing taxes for years when tough economic times have called for it.

Don’t believe the Gorilla? Just listen to these bizarre tactics; Some states tax the sale of pumpkins during Halloween, and some states even tax Shaquille O’Neal and Barry Bonds when they visit, using a “jock tax” on professional athletic events. Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? But, wait, that’s not all! There are even several states that tax exotic dancing calling it (amusingly) a “pole” tax. They range from the outright crazy to the absolutely insane,” said Nate Bailey, of the nonpartisan Tax Foundation based in Washington. “People at the local level already feel over-taxed and politicians, in a somewhat spineless way, look for a hidden way to increase revenue without raising taxes.”   

New York is also proposing an odd, but innovative tax on illegal drugs. It seems like a win-win when you think about the fact that you don’t have to fight off lobbyists or wage a political war in order for the state to collect a big payment right? Well, yes and no. You see, politicians seem to like these methods because they don’t have to raise income taxes, but on the other hand, many critics say that is a danger because long-term problems end up never getting fixed, and more important issues such, as healthcare and education go wanting.

While states don’t necessarily want that to happen, it won’t keep them from creating new and different methods for raising income. So, what’s the answer? Unfortunately, few methods will be without issue or controversy, but whatever the tactic, if it pays off the debt, does that make it more palatable? Well, that is for you, the taxpayer, to decide. All the Gorilla knows is that, if they start taxing the sunbathers in Florida, where he lives, that will be the last straw! (Hey, it could happen - you never know!)