GorillaOffTopic, Everything But Gorilla Trades

If you know anything about the Gorilla, you know that he loves the game of baseball with a passion. Anytime the Gorilla can take in a game, he does. His favorite team? Well growing up in the Detroit area, he is a pretty die-hard Tiger fan, but just about any baseball game gets the Gorilla’s blood pumping. Man, what the Gorilla wouldn’t do to have a chance to play in the Majors- even for just a day! It would be the ultimate baseball fan’s dream come true, and yesterday, for one very ecstatic Billy Crystal (yes, THE Billy Crystal) the dream became reality- even if it was for just a day! 

Just like the Gorilla and many other people, it was Mr. Crystal’s lifelong dream to play with the New York Yankees. The actor, comedian, and host of the Oscars, wanted his chance and today, after suiting up with the number 60 on his Jersey (after signing a one-day minor league contract), he went out there to lead off for the Yanks during a spring training game at the appropriately named Legend’s Field in Tampa, Florida. Billy Crystal, known for his lighthearted humor, seemed relaxed and calm as he took the field and chomped non-stop on bubblegum.  “I’m really relaxed, I really am,” Crystal said after taking pregame infield practice. “That’s until I see the 6-foot-2, 230-pound guy who’s going to throw- one who’s never been to a Seder.”

Fans went crazy when the actor came to the plate.  But although it didn’t go all that well, it was still a decent attempt, and he even made contact with the ball! He hit a ball down the first base line, just foul. He then got the count to 3-1, before finally striking out. He showed great awreness of the strike zone. For a 60-year-old man, who hasn’t played baseball since high school, to have that kind of attempt, is pretty darn good if you ask the Gorilla. It shows his athletic ability and tenacity. “I just want to touch it,” he said. And that is exactly what he did. Congrats  Mr. Crystal! The Gorilla’s hat certainly goes off to you. 

The Gorilla, like many of you, remembers fondly losing his baby teeth as a child and the only good thing about the whole traumatic experience was the “the light at the end of the tunnel”; of course the Gorilla is talking about the tooth fairy putting that quarter or fifty cents underneath your pillow after you had gone to sleep. Recently, the Gorilla was appalled at hearing a story of a parent leaving their child a twenty dollar bill under his pillow! Are you kidding? Twenty dollars for what? Losing a measly tooth? Did the kid almost die doing it? Doesn’t this parent know that there are plenty more teeth to lose where that one came from?  Although most parents the Gorilla talked to say this case is extreme, it raised a good question; how much is just too much, where kids are concerned? As parents, we want the very best for our kids, but how can we give them that without over-indulging them? How can parents teach their children the value of a dollar? Well to start, setting precedence from the very start is one way. In other words, start small and work up. If you start too high the expectations only go up; i.e. twenty dollars for a tooth lost! What happens when they lose the second tooth, then the third and so on? Pretty soon your kids expectations are just way too high, and they can only be disappointed if you don’t keep the up the standard. You know it’s true, parents!  So what’s with all the spoiling? Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should! So many parents are spoiling their kids to a fault. Are you one of these parents? Do your kids have ALL the latest gadgets and games? Does your twelve year old have an I-phone? If the answer is yes, chances are, you are one of these parents. Now, don’t get the Gorilla wrong here, all through the ages, kids have wanted the latest and greatest things that life has to offer. And with such pricey items like video games now being the typical gift, it’s hard to tell a kid that fifty cents is all they should expect for a tooth! The difference between 20 years ago and now, is that most parent’s knew back then the difference between what an adult should be entitled to and what children should be entitled to.  So, does this mean that kids shouldn’t have great stuff? Well, of course not, but psychologists say that no matter how much money you have, you still can teach your kids to earn these things instead of expecting them. Using the tooth fairy money as an example, you can start right away teaching your kids how to save that money.  Tiffany Bass Bukow, founder of MsMoney.com, likes the idea of using the experience to introduce the concepts of money and value. Parents, she says, can use the loot from that first visit to show a child how to divide up money for spending, saving, and charity. But she warns not to be too generous.  ”In general, I think people are overspending on their children, and that’s part of the reason why the generation coming up doesn’t have a great work ethic.”  So how much is the right amount to give for a tooth? The Gorilla wondered this as well, and here’s what he found out:  According to a 2006 survey of 150 mothers conducted by eBeanstalk.com, an online toy store, the Tooth Fairy is giving an average of $2.64, with 60% of respondents reporting that they give less than $3 per tooth. The tooth fairy is simply one example of how to properly teach kids about money. We can also teach them by simply telling them “no” sometimes. Kids need to hear and know that they can’t always get what they want simply because they want it! After all, they might not get into the college they wanted to, or the job they want, or the love interest they seek later. Life is filled with “no’s” and they will need to be able to handle rejection. However, if you have great kids (and the Gorilla knows you all do), it is certainly okay to reward them for good grades or give them incentive to do well by offering a reward for their efforts.  

Both the Gorilla and Dr. Phil applaud this method. In addition, if kids want something material or need money for something extra, (a gift, a party, or concert) make them earn it by doing chores or yard work. By doing that, you are letting them understand the value of earning it, instead of teaching them to simply expect it for nothing! As Bill Cosby always told his kids, “this is my house and my stuff, and I am just letting you live here and use it!” Amen, Bill, Amen!

Education. It is probably the most important thing we can offer our children in this great country. Does it matter then, whether kids are home-schooled or taught by licensed teachers in a school? Well, many think not, but according to new laws in California, it most definitely will matter in the very near future, unless something is done about it. Right now, parents of more than 200,000 home-schooled children in that state are reeling from a decision made by Judge H. Walter Croskey, in the Second District Court of Appeals in Los Angeles. The ruling states that children ages 6 to 18 may be taught only by credentialed teachers in a public or private school, and at home by mom or dad- but only if they have a teaching degree. 

Croskey declared that “California courts have held that under provisions in the Education Code, parents do not have a constitutional right to home-school their children.” Furthermore, the judge wrote, if instructors teach without credentials they will be subject to criminal action. So, let’s get this straight; if California parents should choose to home-school their own children- even though they may have been doing it for years and years- they may be subject to arrest? Well, it specifically said “subject to criminal action,” so who knows.

The Gorilla finds this ruling personally outrageous and apparently Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger agrees and made this statement: ”Every California child deserves a quality education and parents should have the right to decide what’s best for their children.” This is not the first time a judge has ruled this way in California. In 1953, home-schooling was made illegal unless the parent was credentialed. The law has not changed since then, but the new ruling came after a case of child neglect and abuse occurred in a family, who home schools 8 children, and it brought the issue to the forefront once again.  

“Public schools are not a solution to the problem of child abuse,” says Leslie Buchanan, president of the Home School Association of California. The decision is most likely going to be appealed, and with any luck, it will be. Let’s face it folks, school sure ain’t what it used to be. Some of them are no longer even safe. It should absolutely be a parent’s choice to teach their kids at home, but that is just the Gorilla’s humble opinion.

If you are at all like the Gorilla, you are probably a highly responsible person, who sticks to a stringent daily routine. While it is commendable to have a routine each day, many times, the same old same old can lead to boredom. Slowly but surely, a creeping resentment of the daily doldrums will often set in. So what if you really can’t help the daily routine simply because you answer to a boss or wear a title, which requires a certain protocol? You must wake up at 7 a.m. to get to the office by 8 a.m. Meetings start at 9 a.m. and before you know it, the hustle and bustle has continued well into the lunch hour. If it weren’t for the relentless growling in your belly, you wouldn’t even stop to take a break! Then, the after-lunch load gets much worse, taking you from one meeting to another, one business call to the next, one deal after the other, until finally, it is 5 o’clock. Then, like you always do, you take the subway, taxi, or your car the same route home you have taken a million times before to get home for dinner, do a bit more work from home, and then off to bed. (If you are lucky, you had 10 minutes to kiss your spouse and play with your children). Thus, the routine starts all over again the next day. And so on, and so on. You get the point. Pretty soon you are experiencing burnout.  

Well, as for this Gorilla, he has been there and done that! So what gives? How does one escape the sameness day in and day out? Hey, no one is saying that your life is terrible or that you should begrudge your good fortune whatsoever. In fact, the Gorilla would say that it is a gift to have employment, a way to earn a living, a family and a home to come to at the end of the day, and more. But even you get bored and you are only human, so it’s okay. There are ways to break up the day, and psychologists have a few tips to help you feel less bored and more excited about your daily life. 

The Gorilla is in the business of giving recommendations, so he would like to incorporate a couple of his own as well. To start, experts say adding exercise to you daily routine not only makes you feel less tired throughout the day, but it helps create those healthy endorphins, which give you a sort of “happy buzz” so to speak. Take the time to sit down and figure out where to incorporate a workout into your day. Even the busiest of people manage to do it, so make the effort- even it is 30 minutes on your lunch hour! Next, taking an alternate route to and from work or even a different means of transportation can also help. If you live relatively close to the office, why not bike there or even walk? It is always nice to change the scenery on occasion. Another good way to break up the day is through music therapy. Now the Gorilla doesn’t know if this is a legitimate therapy, but hey, it has been working for him for years. Try sitting down for no more than a few minutes right smack in the middle of the day and listen to a happy upbeat song. Everyone needs a happy “feel good” song. The Gorilla’s happens to be “Oh What A Night,” and no matter how tough the day gets, that song picks him right up off the ground and puts him back into the mood to deal with tough situations. The Gorilla mentioned a walk earlier, but this can also be done right smack in the middle of your work day. No, the Gorilla is not advocating “slacking” here, but he is simply suggesting a nice 10 minute break to go outside and breath in the fresh air- be it freezing cold or balmy and warm. It lets you know you are alive, and reminds you to breath!

At the end of the day, why not have your family meet you for dinner in the city or take them all out in the middle of the week, somewhere nice just to break things up. This not only allows you to enjoy a good meal, but more importantly, it gives you an hour or two to see your kids and spouse’s faces and actually interact with them. (It never hurts to pick up a bouquet of flowers or a bottle of wine on the way home for no reason at all either!) And don’t forget to plan out your weekend on occasion. Having a plan for fun things to do, be it with your spouse, friends, kids, or all of the above breaks up the monotony of the week and gives you a fresh, new outlook on life. If you can help it, try not to take your work home and draw some very important lines in the sand in that respect. After all, if you aren’t mentally healthy, your job suffers, and your family suffers. Take the time out to “mix it up” won’t you?

Along a magical Florida coastline, nestled westward off the highway, are lush vegetable fields stretching out for miles and miles into the distance.  One can easily find many thriving vegetable farms growing hordes of tomatoes and the like. California has them as well, and they provide the nation with millions of juicy vegetables and other produce, almost year round. It is a huge industry, cranking out produce and fruit for an entire nation. But behind the myriad of choices at your local grocer’s counter is a migrant worker, who labors tirelessly in the heat, in deplorable conditions, with zero protection from the harmful pesticides that bombard the lungs, skin, eyes, and every other organ in the body.

Picture this scene: a tiny Mexican woman wearing no shoes (she cannot afford them) walks through the mud and briar, cracks in her worn feet, and stoops down to pick a tomato to add to her bucket. She coughs from a lingering respiratory “condition” that is always with her, as she carries not one load, but two. There is a 30-pound bucket of tomatoes and another one that grows in her belly; you see she is 7 months pregnant and must work to pay the rent and provide food for her poor family. At home, a caretaker holds the woman’s young child born with no arms; a commonality among migrant workers is that many of their babies are born with birth defects of various kinds. The workers claim it is the pesticides, their field bosses want to deny it and cover up. After all, they don’t want attention drawn to them that may cause them to lose their job. They have families too, right? 

It is a sad reality to thousands, and it seems that not much is being done to help these migrant workers or improve their working conditions.  Rosie Ramirez, a clinical assistant at the Marion E. Fether Medical Center in Immokalee, Florida estimates that “a good 180 of every 200 women” the clinic sees have worked in the fields. Of those, perhaps 75 women keep on working right through their seventh month of pregnancy. Immokalee is the home of three different babies born with birth defects from migrant mothers, who worked in the fields there. They call them los tres niños, and they have drawn some attention to the pesticide debate.

Top EPA officials have read about the three babies from Immokalee: they conclude that there is no obvious link between the pesticides and these babies birth defects. (A fact the Gorilla has a tough time believing.) These women are sick and pregnant and yet they keep right on working. Not working is simply not an option for these ladies. So the result is, the children of these women suffer. One woman tells the story of not one, but two of her daughters having Lupus. She was told by doctors that it was from “exposure to chemicals.” The girls used to play in the nearby fields, while she picked. Another woman talks of how she would crawl on her pregnant belly to pick endive since that was how she was taught by her field boss. Her baby, a son named Matthew, was born with deformities of his hands most likely caused by them being crushed inutero, while she was crawling. The boy is now older and has a different opinion. “My brother always said it was the pesticides,” Matthew says. He says, “If Mama hadn’t been in those fields, I wouldn’t have been born like this.”  

These are just a few of many stories of deformed babies, sick mothers (and let’s not forget the men here who suffer too), and the results of working in pesticide-laden fields for a lifetime. The company that employs these women, was found to have 457 different violations in pesticide use, resulting in a lawsuit from the women and pressure to make changes. The company agreed that it will go organic in the coming years and many others are expected to follow suit. Up in Washington, the EPA has made a choice, too. The deputy director of the EPA’s Office of Pesticides programs, said her agency is designing a new study based on the Immokalee babies. It will look at the use, or misuse, of the applicable chemicals and deepen the existing research, possibly even providing some answers. Well, the Gorilla hopes they get them too. There are a lot of eager people in Florida, California, North Carolina, and other states that need some answers and soon! Going organic sounds like an appropriate choice and seems long overdue to the Gorilla. What do you think?

Everyone the Gorilla talks to lately seems to have a complaint about air travel. Given the fact that there are over 38,000 U.S. commercial flights daily, let’s face it, someone is going to complain!  If it’s not the lines at the ticket counters or having to schlep through security with too many bags, it’s the delays and the overcrowded airports that have many people griping. Like you, the Gorilla has many friends who travel. Many of whom travel for business, and many who travel simply for pleasure. But do these people simply have an unrealistic attitude about what should constitute “easy” travel, or is there even such a thing? Is there really all that much to complain about, or do these people just enjoy complaining in general? In order to find out, the Gorilla did some research of his own to get some answers.  While on a business trip to Detroit, the Gorilla spoke to several people in the airport. Just out of curiosity he asked people randomly two questions; if their flight was on time, and how fast security was for them. Everyone asked at this particular airport at this particular time of day responded positively and seemed satisfied, stating that there were virtually no delays for them. Now, keep in mind that the Gorilla is not sure where these people were traveling and he did not ask. But in reality, is it safe to assume that the problem is not as widespread as people think?  The Gorilla himself is an avid traveler. He has traveled within the domestic U.S. from state to state and from the U.S. to destinations abroad. Yes, there are new security concerns, which seem to arise daily, but airports are up to date on these issues and they seem to be quite prepared. In almost all cases flights are on time and security- even traveling abroad- is not an issue. Yes, it is annoying at best, but all in all, it was not nearly as bad as people make it out to be.  So, what’s all the hype about flights being delayed so much and so often? In reality, as a matter of fact, only about 100 flights are delayed daily in the domestic U.S. and if you consider the thousands of flights originating in the U.S. each day, that’s really not a lot. But the Transportation Department says that the long-term outlook is not good. It says travelers should brace themselves for a growing number of chronically late planes in the next year, as more flights are added to accommodate the growing number of people who will travel in the near future.  The Gorilla’s research also found that one of the worst airports for delays was in Newark, where the airport is often subject to inclement weather conditions (a sad reality for those who must travel out of Newark!). We all know that weather is instrumental in causing delays, and some conditions simply cannot be avoided. But travel experts repeatedly urge passengers to book trips to begin in the morning in order to minimize the risk of delays. In addition, there are travel web sites you can access to help make your travel plans go more smoothly, like Flight-Aware or FlightStats.com. Flight-Aware offers daily arrival times going back four months. That way you can know what to expect for your air travel. As for this Gorilla: well, he recommends having low expectations, and not being in a big hurry. Schlep your stuff through security like you always do, grab a Starbucks and a newspaper once through, and sit back, relax, and enjoy the wait! After all, you don’t have your own wings, so for now, you have no choice but to wait for theirs! The Gorilla wishes safe travel to all!

As the Gorilla peruses the headlines for news stories, he is continually struck by all the headlines reporting violent crime, which are becoming more and more prevalent. Not only are there more violent crimes, but the nature of the crimes is getting more and more heinous. Just two days ago, a man walked into a Wendy’s fast food restaurant in West Palm Beach, Florida and open fire, killing 6 people, before killing himself.

Upon hearing this news, initially the Gorilla assumed it was a young person- perhaps a man or a student- but he was wrong. The man was in his 60’s, proving that random shootings can be committed by anyone of any age. Random shootings in public places are becoming more and more common. It seems as if there is a new one every week.

Psychologists say that depression, anxiety, and pressures from society are to blame. People are angry, and seemingly getting angrier. The young man in Omaha Nebraska, who went into the local mall and started randomly shooting people, was in fact, angry and depressed. The student at Virginia Tech, who committed those murders was also depressed and angry. And the man who committed the murders at the Wendy’s was-n you guessed it- depressed and angry. 

Well okay, so we’re stating the obvious here. Emotionally sound and happy people do not go out and commit murders. We are not talking about street thugs, or drug addicts with a history of violence. These random acts of violence on crowds of people, whether it be in malls, restaurants, or schools, are not being committed (for the most part) by people who have ANY history of violence. They are students. They are business people. They are one of us. They are quite average by anyone’s standards. But these people are classically described as being passive aggressive. They have grudges that they have been holding for years. They may have been victims of some kind of abuse or wrongdoing. They are angry, and they are on a mission for revenge. 

So the question is, what measures will we take to prevent them from harming others? Is there anything that can be done? Is it just the world we live in? Perhaps we should offer free counseling in our communities to make it affordable for all. Maybe businesses and schools should require mandatory screening and counseling of its employees and students each month to “check up on” the well being of individuals. Or, maybe we could all just be kinder to one another. The world is severely lacking compassion these days. It starts with us! In the meantime, here’s a little tid-bit from the Gorilla for you to chew on:

The top 5 “angriest” cities in the U.S are as follows: #5 Orlando, Florida; #4 Johnson, Arizona; #3 Los Angeles, California; #2 St. Louis, Missouri; and the number one “angriest” city, according to the AJ Novak Group, is (not surprisingly, because of it’s horrible economy right now) Detroit, Michigan! 

Global warming. It is a subject that many citizens of the world are painfully aware of, and every politician is feverishly exploiting in an effort to gain votes with their promises of somehow ”fixing” the problem. Each of the presidential candidates is promising new regulations that will cost trillions of dollars to combat global warming. But wait…is the problem really severe enough to warrant such hoopla and potential spending?

Leading environmental scientists say, maybe not. But what about the unusually high temperatures of late? What about the Polar Ice Caps melting so fast that the beloved Polar Bear is starving and losing it’s habitat? Do all of these concerns suddenly cease to exist? Well, no actually, however there is evidence to sustain the theory that the problem may not be as severe as once believed. Scientists say that global temperatures have been cooling and have now largely eliminated most of the global warming that had previously occurred over the last 100 years. So, are temperatures still rising? Certainly they were rising from the late 1970’s to 1998, but there has been no significant warming in the past 10 years, so hundreds of climate scientists have warned that there is not significant man-made global warming. 

Some 100 of these scientists will come together this week to inform that there is really no man-made global warming crisis. More and more regulations are being piled on and more and more money is being spent to make global changes, so this meeting could prevent some very unnecessary spending. It turns out that, although we are contributing slightly to global warming with greenhouse gases, it is such a slight contribution (less than one-half of one percent) that it has to be observed that it is mostly the sun contributing-not mankind.

So does this mean we can all suddenly be careless and go back to our selfish environmentally damaging ways? Of course not, because no matter how you spin it, there is still a huge concern for the environment and global warming, which has nonetheless, been significant in the last one hundred years; more so than ever before in history and you can’t simply ignore that fact! Yes, the ice caps are melting fast, and the seas have been rising and the weather is simply crazy! John Lott, author of Freedomnomics, and a senior research scientist at the University of Maryland, has this to say about it: “However good the intentions, the debate over global warming is much more complicated than simply saying that the world is getting warmer. It is too bad that these questions won’t be getting a real debate this election. The irony is that those who sell themselves as being so caring aren’t careful enough to investigate the impact of their regulations.” The Gorilla applauds his research and agrees completely.

Cell phone technology has reached a new high- or is it a new low? The Gorilla found A new device for cell phones sort of interesting, and so will you. Have you ever wanted to spy on your spouse, your kids, or your employees? Personally the Gorilla is not one for spying on people, but if you are, then this technology is for you! Now there’s a way you can read the deleted text messages from anyone’s cell phone. 

Brickhouse Technology has created spyware for your cell phone (or for someone else’s if you so choose!) It’s called the Ultimate Cell Phone Solution and it was originally created to backup information on your cell phone. However, many curious people will certainly be using the device for “spying” to be sure! Bosses can use it to spy on their employees; parents can use it to spy on their children; and spouses can use it to check up on what their mate is doing. (Or at least what they are saying in some aspects).

So, is this technology easy to use and affordable? Well, yes, it is incredibly simple to use if you are sneaky enough! All you need is the SIM card from you cell phone. You place the SIM card into a sort of keyhole in the spyware device, and plug it in to your computer. At this point you will be prompted as to what to do, and you can read all of the deleted text messages from the phone. It’s that simple. One man on the Brickhouse site said that he found a stream of messages his wife sent to an unknown number each day, which indicated she was having an affair. Busted!

It is sad to think that it’s come to this for some, but again, the technology was not initially created for this purpose. The Gorilla can guarantee to you that the spyware aspect will generate much more revenue for the company than the “information backup” aspect that it was originally made for. Cheaters beware! 

The lights go down in a quiet movie theater as the scene of a movie appears to a hushed crowd. The scene is a crowded square, with a stage and a man speaking to the crowd. A shadow appears in a window behind the stage, then disappears. Ten minutes later, a man playing the President of the United States walks out, seemingly about to to make his speech to those who await him. As he opens his mouth to greet the crowd, a barrage of gunshots is heard and the man is shot down. The secret service is scattered immediately in an attempt to find the person or person’s responsible. They proceed to search the building they all swear was “swept completely just minutes before,” but found it totally empty. The film is entitled “Vantage Point,” starring Dennis Quaid and later on in the movie, it is discovered that the gunfire came from a remotely controlled sharp shooting machine gun - ergo the reason the building was indeed, empty. There was no need for an actual person to be there to fire that gun; at least that is the way it is portrayed in the movies. 

When the Gorilla saw this scene in the movie, he thought “wow, cool Sci-Fi idea they came up with for the movie!” (Now, folks, this is just normal “guy banter” and no, the Gorilla does not condone violence!) But little did he know then, this “remote” technology is very real, and it is being used for political terrorism as we speak. In fact, military experts have warned that terrorists could use unmanned drones in aerial attacks, saying robotics offered a “frighteningly easy” way to evade security. According to the 177 year-old Royal United Services, the materials and the know-how to manufacture lethal improvised robots is easily available. “Sooner or later, we’re going to see a Cessna programmed to fly into a building,” said Rear Adm. Chris Parry, who formed the Ministry of Defense’s Development, Concepts and Doctrine Center in 2005. He also added that remotely piloted aircraft, or even model planes, are almost as undetectable to radar as a blackbird and are easy and cheap to build. Scary! 

Unmanned planes have already been used in attacks by Hezbollah, and Al-Quaida alike. In addition, unmanned vehicles have also been used in attacks involving terrorism, but were also key to the U.S. military efforts in Iraq. So, is the U.S. in the ballgame yet? Well, of course!  After all, the U.S. would never be outdone in military technology. Incredibly, according to a Fox Newswire, the Pentagon wants $3.4 billion for 2008 to fund its unmanned aircraft programs, and a strategy document put out by the U.S. Department of Defense last year outlined plans to automate a third of the Army’s new ground combat vehicles by 2015. The Gorilla is a big lover of remote control airplanes, helicopters, cars boats himself! However, it is a shame to think of this fun and entertaining hobby as something that could be used for heinous acts of terrorism. Reality is harsh sometimes. Still, you can’t stop advancements in technology, and although the Gorilla hates to state the obvious, if our enemies are using the technology, than the U.S. must as well.