GorillaOffTopic, Everything But Gorilla Trades

Time and time again, we have all heard about high speed car chases involving criminals and police officers, and time and time again, we hear about innocent people being killed because they were caught in the middle of one. But is it really worth it to pursue the chase, when in many cases the price that is paid is the life of an innocent bystander, who was caught in the middle? Over 500 innocent people were killed last year due to high speed police chases, and in almost every case, it involved a stolen car. There are many critics of this kind of law enforcement, who feel that it is unnecessary because really, is a stolen car worth killing someone else over?
 

The Gorilla could not agree more with their sentiments, and now, new technology will make it so that they don’t have to. The scene will appear like something out of a Sci-Fi futuristic movie; the bad guy gives chase and the cops are in hot pursuit, but suddenly the cop car shoots a laser guided sticky tracking device at the car ahead, which attaches itself to the back of the thug’s car. It would end the chase for the cops, who are now able to track the whereabouts of the suspects without having to compromise the safety of others as well as themselves.

It’s all very James Bond, but unlike the somewhat unrealistic gadgets in the movies, this product is quite real.  To be very specific, the device is a GPS tracking device, which is launched from the front grill of the police officer’s car and once the sticky transmitter attaches to the fleeing car, the police are able to track the suspect via real-time feeds over a wireless network. This cool new technology has been used in beta testing in Los Angeles and in Suffolk County, New York for the past year with good results, and now the developer, StarChase, LLC is making plans to move forward to commercialize the technology and is aiming to bring the product to the marketplace by next year. 

“We believe this technology and the trials associated with it, will potentially give police officers yet another tool to minimize the damaging risks associated with high-speed pursuits,” LAPD Chief William Bratton said in a statement earlier this year. “My goal is to protect not only my officers, but the general public as well.” The Gorilla likes this cool, new criminal chasing gadget, and if it catches the bad guys without all of the unnecessary human sacrifice, then it will be a very useful tool for law enforcement officers all over the world! Hats off to StarChase for this innovative and potentially life saving product.

How often do you use your cell phone? Minutes a day? Hours a day, perhaps? If you are like most of the general population, you probably use it a lot more than you should. As many of you know by now, the Gorilla does not carry a cell phone and now, hearing about the new foreboding medical findings, many of you may consider following his lead. A study by an award-winning cancer expert, Dr. Vini Khurana, shows that there is growing evidence that using handsets for 10 years or more can double the risk of brain cancer. Now that is a scary thought!

He warns that people should avoid using handsets whenever possible and has called on cell phone manufacturers to make them safer for use. The study is said to be the most convincing and severe evidence thus far regarding cell phone use. According to the UK’s Independent newspaper, cancers take at least 10 years to develop ,which may have influenced earlier cancer studies that have shown cell phone use to be relatively safe. Dr. Khurana is one of the world’s leading neuro-surgeons and says that based on his findings, he believes that cell phones could one day actually kill more people than cigarettes. He based his assessment on the fact that 3 billion people worldwide use cell phones. That is 3 times higher than the amount of people who smoke cigarettes (and smoking kills about 5 million people globally each year)! So it turns out that maybe the Gorilla was inadvertently onto something after all! The truth is (and hopefully there is no coincidence) the phone was giving him headaches and was just way too (mentally) encumbering to continue to carry. At last, those annoying fellows wearing those quirky earpieces, now have the Gorilla’s respect (even if they do look ridiculous and like they are talking to themselves!).