GorillaOffTopic, Everything But Gorilla Trades

When we were kids,most of us watched “The Jetsons”- that famous cartoon set in the far-off future, that attempted to give us a “far out” and far-fetched idea of what living in the “space age” would be like. People flew around on saucer-like devices,soaring from space house to space house. Mrs. Jetson had a robot for a maid and even the dog was a robot. The very idea of robotics seemed like something we would never actually see come to fruition in our lifetime, but of course the idea was thrilling to many people. But alas, the wait is over, and the future is in fact, here right now. 

Robots are doing just about everything these days, from building cars, to performing surgeries and now, even conducting the symphony. That’s right folks, you heard the Gorilla correctly; a robot conducted the Detroit Symphony the other night, and the crowd was wowed! ASIMO, a robot designed and donated by the Honda Motor Company, walked out onto the stage in front of a sold-out crowd and led the orchestra in a spot-on performance of “The Impossible Dream” from Man Of La Mancha. The shiny white 4 feet, 3 inch ASIMO said “hello everyone” and waved to the orchestra. Although ASIMO is not built to detect tempo variations, it is able to perfectly mimic the actions of the conductor.  
 

 ”It is absolutely thrilling to perform with the Detroit Symphony Orchestra. This is a magnificent concert hall,” ASIMO said.  And then took a bow in front of the shouts from an enthusiastic audience. Later, ASIMO came back out to join famed cellist,Yo Yo Ma, onstage to receive an award. This was the first time that ASIMO has ever conducted the orchestra; in fact, it may well be the first time any robot has conducted an orchestra.

Although ASIMO is an amazing innovation, even he has his limits. For example, he is only programmed to mimic the conductor, but not programmed to respond to musicians. “It’s not a communicative device. It simply is programmed to do a sense of gestures,” said Leonard Slatkin, the orchestra’s musical director. “If the orchestra decides to go faster, there’s nothing the robot can do about it. Hopefully, I keep that under control.” But several musicians commented on how lifelike the robot actually is, despite the fact that he is still a little stiff in his movements.

Honda has been developing  robots since 1986 and eventually hopes to develop companion robots for the elderly and as crossing guards for navigating crosswalks. Incredibly, ASIMO can run, walk on uneven slopes, and respond to simple voice commands. It can also recognize faces with its camera eyes. So, is the world ready for robots who will live in their homes with them? Well, the Gorilla can’t speak for the rest of you, but as for himself, the idea of a human-looking robot, co-existing with a Gorilla, might not be so bad, but a Gorilla-looking robot would be the ultimate!

What if you could choose the type of child born to you? In other words, imagine inserting certain qualities into an embryo, such as athletic ability or intelligence. It sounds pretty amazing in theory, (if you are into the Sci-Fi Network), but personally, the Gorilla finds this idea to be not only immoral, but just plain creepy.  For the first time ever, scientists have altered a human embryo, and the study is drawing a lot of controversy from some watchdog groups around the world. The groups claim that the practice of making “designer babies” is both appalling and unsettling. But Dr. Zev Rosenwaks, who is the director of the Center for Reproductive Medicine and Infertility at New York- Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center, says that “none of us want to make designer babies.” Dr. Rosenwak is the author of the study and says that the work was focused on stem cells and notes that researchers used an abnormal embryo that could never have developed into a baby anyway. It is a nice argument, but the Gorilla must ask, do some of these researchers enjoy playing God?  The idea of designer babies is certainly not a new one, and the thought is that someday scientists may give parents the option of certain traits for their future child or children. Many people (including the Gorilla), find this idea repugnant, claiming that it turns children into some kind of “designer objects” and would create an “unequal” society, whereby some people are genetically enriched, while others would be considered inferior. Yes, it sounds very futuristic and cool if this was a movie, but in the real world, it could be a dangerous prospect! The study is the first report of genetically modifying a human embryo, but when it was presented last fall at a meeting for the American Society for reproductive medicine, it didn’t attract that much attention or controversy- until the London times recently published the report. The report claims that Rosenwaks and his colleagues worked on an embryo that was considered nonviable because it had extra chromosomes. Following a procedure frequently used on animals, they inserted a gene that acts as a marker that can easily be followed over time. The study claims that the embryo reportedly “took up” the gene. The goal was to see if a gene introduced to an abnormal embryo could be traced in stem cells that are harvested from the embryo. Dr. Rosenwaks says that it would shed light on why abnormal embryos sometimes fail to develop. He also says that no stem cells were actually recovered from the embryo, and noted that abnormal embryos often don’t develop well enough to produce them. Although making designer babies was not the actual “intent” of the study, it still draws controversy because of the fact that it shows that it is possible to do so, which is disturbing in the Gorilla’s mind. It seems that these scientists were experimenting with techniques that others might use to genetically modify human lives, and they are getting away with it with little debate thus far.  A London-based group called Human Genetics Alert similarly criticized the work. 

Hey, the Gorilla is for any research that can help potentially find and correct genetic defects, but that being said, there are lines that need not be crossed when it comes to altering creation. Others may disagree, and everyone is entitled to do so, but at what point is crossing the lines of science morally unacceptable?

Whether you are a fan of Gladiators, Moles, Bachelors, or talent competitions, there are certainly enough reality TV shows on to suit the tastes of just about every type of individual. Television has been literally inundated with reality-type TV shows and it’s almost impossible not to see one or two on the tube during prime-time. Chances are, you are even a loyal fan of some of them.  There are literally hundreds of reality-type shows taking over the airways and many people are growing weary of all the hype surrounding them. Some say that the bad behavior and truly bad acting is making these once fun and entertaining shows too fake to be believable. Fans of Fox’s mega-hit, Survivor, have even spoken up to complain about the fact that the once very real, very believable, format of the competition-based show now seems to be over-edited and not as authentic as it once was.  As it turns out, very few people believe there’s much reality in reality TV: 82% say the shows are either “totally made up” or “mostly distorted.”  “They pick the personality types to fit a role. I don’t think it’s really real,” said Brenda Sobol, a 42-year-old homemaker from Susanville, Calif. “It’s kind of bogus. I think they pretty much know what the outcomes are going to be or they wouldn’t do the programs.”   

However, television producers aren’t panicking just yet. They believe that even though some may think the shows are fake or distorted, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they won’t watch.  Sixty-eight percent of viewers said it “didn’t matter, or only mattered a little”, whether the shows were truthful or not. And how about the Gorilla’s favorite reality show and one of his favorite shows overall, The Apprentice? Is it mostly fake? Yes, it seems as if there is obviously a bit of acting that must take place for entertainment purposes, but perhaps it is just the nature of the beast! The show is highly entertaining and intellectually stimulating, so the Gorilla will continue to watch regardless. With the continued popularity of these shows, it seems obvious that, at least for a while, reality shows are here to stay. The one question the Gorilla wants to know….when will they make a reality show about the Gorilla?

Gorillas get awfully hungry, and when they get hungry they sometimes order pizza. There is nothing like hot, cheesy pizzas to make a guy (or gorilla) feel all warm and cozy on a nice evening at home. Like many of you, when the Gorilla decides to order a pizza, he usually chooses Papa Johns. Something about the freshness of that hearty sauce and the melt in your mouth taste of their homemade crust just sets the night right!  Apparently, many of you feel the same as the Gorilla, with Americans all over the United States having ordered a ton of the delicious stuff last year, proving that Papa is capable of rolling out the dough and raking it in as well. Unbelievably, a huge part of the success in the Louisville-based company is in its online ordering. In the last 7 years, the pizza giant has made over $1 billion (yes, that’s a “b”) in online orders alone.  Papa John is now the 3rd largest pizza chain in the U.S., and online sales have been growing at an average of more than 50% per year. In 2001, the chain’s online sales totaled $20.4 million. Last year, its online sales were around $400 million. Mama Mia! Amazingly, when you walk into a Papa John’s location, the phones seem unusually quiet. That is because the orders are coming in like crazy over the Internet!  Jim Ensign, vice president of marketing communications at Papa John’s, says that it took over 7 years to hit the billion dollar mark, but he says that at the current rate, it will only take another 3 years to double that number. That is simply incredible! But the big papa isn’t the only pizza chain to jump into the online ordering craze.  Pizza Hut says that online sales have increased six-fold, and Dominos’ new “Pizza Tracker” tracking system has given the company a “big bump” in sales, says Jenny Fouracre, a spokeswoman for Ann Arbor, Mich.-based Domino’s. Both of these companies also have a text-based ordering system in place for customer orders as well.  Papa Johns says that more than 20% of its business now comes from online and text ordering, and since it was put in place in 2001, the company says it has invested over $15 million in online ordering technology.  The company says that in the future, it will offer even more ways to make ordering easy and convenient for its customers. Now, folks, if you are online as much as the Gorilla, doesn’t it make sense? This is a fantastic concept that has proven to be highly successful, and surprisingly, in a  type of business you would never expect to thrive from online ordering. Keep up the work Big Papa!

It’s almost Mother’s Day, and moms all over the globe are looking forward to the many gifts they will receive this Sunday. You may be surprised to learn that among the favorites this year will be many tech-related items. Yes, it’s true guys, the results are in- diamonds are no longer a girls “best friend”! Women too, have been “turned on” to the tech craze and the once less-technical female has become quite tech-savvy.  The gender gap has finally been closed and women are craving technology! These days, she knows what she likes and how to use it as well as any guy. Just to give you an idea of how much women love their tech-related gadgets, Oxygen Network did the following survey, which asked women which items they most desired. Here are the results: • 77% prefer a new plasma TV vs. a diamond solitaire necklace
• 56% prefer a new plasma TV vs. a weekend vacation
• 78% of women prefer a new top-of-the-line cell phone, with all the latest features and a sleek new design vs. designer shoes
• 86% prefer a new digital video camera vs. designer shoes. And manufacturers of tech products are targeting the female demographic with pink phones and MP3 players and the like. Some cell phone companies have even produced phones with shoe translators and calorie counters. But women aren’t necessarily wooed by the looks of things or even the femininity of them. Instead, they are into functionality and what the product will offer to make their lives better and easier. In fact, one manufacturing company of GPS devices says that women make up 73% of it’s customer base, proving that women don’t necessarily care if the device has a mother-of-pearl casing, they just want to get from point A to point B, like anyone else does. So guys and gals, hopefully there will be no questions about what to buy for your favorite mom this Mother’s Day. Hey, the Gorilla is always here to help you out- it’s the least he could do! Happy Mother’s Day to all Moms, and enjoy your technology!

Did you ever wonder if listening to an ipod could make you go deaf? Of course when we were kids, our moms were always yelling at us to turn our radios down. But back then, the sound wasn’t being pumped directly into our ear canal at extremely high levels, via earbuds. Many parents (including the Gorilla) are concerned about the effects of these music players on our kids’ eardrums-a fter all, the eardrum can only tolerate so much!

Quite frankly, even the Gorilla admits that his hearing has been slightly affected, and attributes this fact directly to listening to his MP3 player or ipod too loud over the years. Alison Grimes, president of the American Academy of Audiology, and head of UCLA Medical Center’s Audiology Clinic says,  ”In the 6-to-19 year-old age range, there is increasing prevalence of hearing loss, and as many as 12% of kids in that age range have measurable hearing loss.” She goes on to say that the sound levels from listening devices with earphones that sit deep in the ear canal put an adsorbent amount of pressure on the eardrum. Although many people (and gorillas) prefer to listen to loud music, the eardrum can’t tolerate the pressure at those levels.

So what’s a parent to do then? One mom from New Hampshire got mad and decided to do something about the problem. Christine Ingemi, with four children under the age of 11, said, “I had the same battle every mother has, always trying to tell them to turn it down,” she said. “I just couldn’t really do anything to prevent it.” So she created special earbuds that limit the amount of sound produced to a safer level. She is not the only one taking action. Many companies have produced new headphones for children that promote safer listening. Currently, Sony is coming out with its MDR-222KD headphones, with more “moderate” volume levels than headphones adults would use. Phillips now has headphones for kids, with a volume lock on it that parents can set. Another company, “Safe and Sound,” has come up with another set that sell for around $30, which have chambers that “direct the sound away from the eardrum by facing the speaker elements away from the ear canal,” according to the company’s web site.

Whatever product or method you choose, it’s good to know that there are choices. Your kids don’t have to suffer from the inevitable hearing loss that will occur if they continue to listen to music too loudly! The Gorilla, for one, has made the investment in better earbuds, and although the sound is still great, luckily it is not too loud anymore!

With the end of the school year upon us, it is time for that highly anticipated graduation day for millions of high school seniors around the nation. Colleges have been picked out, the caps and gowns are ready, and the parties have been planned. But as exciting as this time of year may be, it is no statistical coincidence that graduation parties add up to more alcohol-related tragedies than any other time of year for high school-age students.  Between the months of April and June, when kids are going to their proms and graduations, it is easy to get caught up in the reverie, and casually mix alcohol with driving. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, in the year 2000, 58% of traffic fatalities during the prom/graduation period were alcohol-related. In addition, 36% of all alcohol-related fatalities are young people between the ages of 15 and 20 - below the legal age to consume alcoholic beverages. Thankfully, many schools, in partnership with their local law enforcement, are teaming up to get the message out to students NOT to make this often fatal error during what should be the most momentous time of their lives.  The program is called the DWI (driving while intoxicated) awareness program and it aims to deter kids from driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs. It is a clever deterrent, which involves driving a golf cart, while wearing Fatal Vision Goggles, which simulate a person’s reaction time while driving impaired. The program simulates four stages of a person under the influence. The reactions of a program participant are the same as an individual who is under the influence, but the program does not replicate how a person feels while under the influence. The program also highlights the fact that medications, including prescriptions, can make one drowsy and impair their driving capabilities. This too can result in a charge of driving under the influence.  Another segment of the program involves the introduction of individuals who are serving time for alcohol or drug-related offenses. The Chief Deputy of Webster Parrish, Louisiana, has been using the program in area schools and says that having the kids listen to these testimonials from criminals is a great idea. He says, “This is one thing these kids can relate to; they want to hear from individuals who can provide true-life experiences.”                                
More than ever before, there are great school-based graduation projects that throw big parties for graduation to deter kids from going to alcohol-related parties. One such event is called Project Graduation. The project focuses on getting kids to come to the party by offering fun and entertainment they would otherwise not get at a regular graduation party. Some of those include bounce houses, Sumo wrestling suits and competitions, Velcro jumping, trampolines, live bands, and tons of great food all for a relatively small fee. The catch; kids must check in at the gate and are put on lock down until 5 o’clock in the morning. They are also checked on the way in for alcohol or drugs (which are obviously prohibited). The thinking is that the kids will want to stay and party all night in a safe and extremely fun environment, and then go home without consuming any alcohol or drugs.  The Gorilla thinks these programs are a great way to keep our kids safe on graduation day. If at all possible, encourage your kids to go to one. Happy Graduation to all the high school seniors and be safe!

Yes, it’s that time of year again. Spring has sprung, ushering in the one day that many women wait all year for so that they may receive the highest of accolades; a simple “thanks” for being mom! Mothers all over the nation will sit back and relax and enjoy the adulation, the admiration, and the gratitude for who they are, and what they do each day. But not all of these mothers will be relaxing with their kids, having a nice mimosa on Mother’s day morning this year.

Many of our nation’s moms are serving in the military and are in Iraq right now, mothering more than just a few of our children. Some are doctors. Some are soldiers. But all of them are there to defend our great country because they want to be; because they enlisted to do it; and because they care. Many women in history have fought to defend our great country. They have fought unofficially as spies, support personnel, and as soldiers. 

Women gained an official role in the U.S. military with the formation of the Army Nurse Corps in 1901, and Navy Nurse Corps in 1908. The first women to serve in the armed forces joined the Navy and the Marines in World War I. Currently, there are almost 350,000 women serving in the U.S. armed forces, 15% of these are currently deployed in active duty and many of them are currently serving in Iraq. Of them, over 16,000 are moms. It’s amazing enough that so many women are currently serving in the military, and even more amazing is the fact that many of these women are mothers, with families back home waiting for them. 

For the first time in American history, a substantial number of the combat wounded are women, and again, some are mothers with children. Melinda Gentilis is a wife and mother of two, who is currently on her 2nd 15-month tour in Iraq. She is on the front lines and is faced with her mortality each and every day, with IED’s being a very real threat and a potential consequence for her active duty as a driver of a military truck. Her dedication to the U.S. military is admirable, not to mention brave. She will be deployed until June of 2009, but her attitude is nothing short of amazing. She does not sulk. Instead, she stands proud, grateful for the honor of being able to serve in the military for the country she loves so much. She says that more than anything now, she is looking forward to being home with her family more permanently when her tour is through. Sadly, many moms often go into the military married, and end up single.

Seargeant Leana Nishamura is proof of that. Leana has 3 children and had a husband, when she first began active duty. Due to the distance and time apart, the marriage simply could not sustain and Leana became a single parent and soon after was deployed to Iraq. She says the separation has been hard on all the children, who have been living with their grandmother, but especially hard on her 7-year-old son TJ.  ”He went from having one parent to having no parents, basically,” Nishimura said. “People have said, ‘Thank you so much for your sacrifice.’ But it’s the children who have had more of a sacrifice.” “It has to be one of the hardest things that a mom and her children have to go through,” said Steven Mintz, a University of Houston professor with an expertise in family life. “You can’t cuddle a young child over the phone, and you can’t cuddle a child through e-mail.” Unfortunately the military is not concerned with whether or not you are a woman, or a mother. There are no barriers to being deployed.

Whether a man or a woman, all of our soldiers currently on active duty and serving in the military are our heroes. And the women are dually heroic for being able and willing to fight and defend our great nation, while also being moms (which in and of itself is pretty tough). Happy Mother’s Day to all of these courageous moms…and The Gorilla thanks you!

It’s been a long time since the Gorilla was excited about a destination. It’s been an even longer time since that destination was worth getting excited about! But after reading about all the refurbishing going on in New Orleans, it is now the most exciting destination in the U.S. Yes, the Gorilla has visited New Orleans in the past and remembers well it’s pungent garbage-filled streets, smelling like urine and old beer. That memory is a thing of the past and those nasty smells have been replaced with scents of lemon and incense thanks, in part, to the new sanitation company which prides itself in its smartly dressed crew. And changes abound as the city has worked feverishly since Hurricane Katrina to restore, refurbish, and revitalize a city and economy that was on death’s doorstep.

Yes, it seems like the same old New Orleans of the past that we all knew and fell in love with. The street cars are rolling again, the museums are open. There are more culinary delights to choose from than ever before (many world famous chefs own restaurants in NOLA), and the mood is sublime. That is in the daytime. At night, the sounds, sights, and smells of one very exciting Bourbon Street come to life with the sounds of Jazz, the beautifully refurbished architecture, and the amazing smell of cajun-style food. It is everything the Gorilla remembers, except newer, better, cleaner. In the past 2 years since Katrina, there has been $400 million put into restoring some of the old classic hotels in the French Quarter and beyond. Historic Royal street reflects the city’s slow and steady recovery, with almost 75% of its foot traffic having been restored.

M.S. Rau Antiques, a 25,000 square foot treasure house, has enjoyed 15% growth throughout 2006 and 2007. And, convention business has rebounded tremendously, causing businesses all over New Orleans to thrive. There are so many festivals planned in the city for the spring and summer months, that one could never run out of things to do here for the entire summer! The famed New Orleans Jazz Fest just ended a few days ago, and featured 600 musicians on 11 stages. It showcased such artists as Stevie Wonder, Tim McGraw, Billy Joel and Santana.

If you are a lover of food, than you would be interested in the New Orleans Food and Wine Experience which takes place May 20th-24th. The festival, which is celebrating 17 years of good taste with 175 wines from all over the world, is being billed as “A Five Day Feast For All The Senses”. June 13th-15th is the new Vieux To Do weekend, which rolls three festivals into one-the Cajun Zydeco Festival, the Louisiana Seafood Festival, and the Creole Tomato Festival. WOW! The Gorilla’s mouth is watering. Finally, it wouldn’t be the Big Easy without celebrating the cocktail, which is rumored to have originated in New Orleans. Tales of the Cocktail is the 6th annual Culinary and Cocktail Festival, and it runs from July 16-20. So with all of these exciting events planned for a city on the cusp of a comeback, what are you waiting for? Hop on a plane and get there already. It’s time to be wooed once again by the southern charm of an old historic city that hasn’t changed in charm, but has become better with age and past trauma!

The Gorilla is always on the lookout for relevant news stories which address issues that affect us each day. Gasoline is one of those major issues that you just can’t hide from. Every day, we are hearing stories upon stories about high gas prices and how much they are affecting all of us. Unlike the electric bill, which only comes once a month, we must reckon with paying for our gasoline at least once a week. With gas prices at almost $3.60 per gallon now, we must do all we can to make our gasoline dollars last as long as possible. To do this, the U.S. government is offering help on it’s consumer web site www.fueleconomy.gov, with tips to help consumers drive more efficiently and keep their cars in good shape. (Hey, it has even crossed the Gorilla’s mind lately to drive less if possible and take shortcuts to save on gas.)In mid-May, the non-profit, Alliance to Save Energy, will launch a national campaign aimed at helping consumers save hundreds of dollars through fuel-efficient driving and proper maintenance. The Alliance’s campaign will set out to help consumers cut gas consumption. Its web site (www.drivesmarterchallenge.org) will offer a calculator that will allow consumers to plug in the type of car they drive and determine how much money six different changes in driving or maintenance activities will save them. The site is a great tool because with the six different tips it gives you depending on the type of car you drive, and other factors that you plug in, it can potentially save you hundreds of dollars per year on gasoline. Some of the tips include keeping tires inflated (pretty much common sense), and using high grade oils.

David Champion, who is the director of automobile testing for consumer reports, says that ”just slowing down from 75 miles per hour to 70 mph can significantly improve gas mileage.” The Gorilla thinks we can all do our part to save gasoline, and in turn, energy. The Gorilla is one primate who really likes to drive fast, but since gas prices have gone up, he too, is driving slower. He has noticed that his gas is definitely lasting a bit longer now. Hey, don’t knock it! Every little bit helps. More helpful tips from Consumer Reports can be found at   www.consumerreports.org/fuel.nd.