GorillaOffTopic, Everything But Gorilla Trades

Okay, so now that we have heard all of the warnings about the dangers of  talking on your cell while driving, people seem to have finally gotten the message (no pun intended) not to mention, many states have passed new laws banning people from using phones while driving. Well that’s just fantastic (the Gorilla always hates it when people aren’t driving properly because they too busy talking on their phones). But now that we’ve got a handle on that situation, of course, we have another concern to think about; texting.  The American College of Emergency Physicians warns that there may be serious dangers involved in texting while walking, driving, or doing just about anything at the same time your fingers are punching those keys at a thousand miles per minute. One student talks about how she often stumbles while texting and walking because she isn’t paying attention or looking at the ground where she is walking. Another woman admits that she fell off of a curb and twisted her ankle while fingering away at her blackberry. “It was a nice wake-up call for me to be a lot more careful in the future, because I clearly wasn’t paying attention and I should have,” she says.  But the physician’s warnings come at a time when ER doctors are seeing a rise in serious accidents involving people texting and doing other things simultaneously such as walking, biking, roller-blading, and yes, driving. One ER doctor in Texas, Dr. Angela Gardner, even said she recently saw a man who was injured while texting and riding on a segway. Ouch! She says that when questioned about their injuries, people usually lie or make excuses about how they were injured. She usually ends up getting the real story from snickering ambulance drivers and crew.  “People don’t want to admit they were doing something so silly,” Gardner said.  

In a country where 363 billion text messages were sent last year, according to CTIA, a wireless association, this is a big concern. There have also been hundreds of deaths due to texting and driving, and while that may not seem like much, those are only the proven documented cases and authorities say that number will most likely to increase in the next few years due to the popularity of text messaging. The Gorilla’s advice? People can always wait. Remember the days when there were no cell phones? It never killed anyone to have to wait back then, now did it?

In the movie ’Wild Hogs,’ a group of men go on a ”guys” biker road trip, having a couple of things in common: They are all going through a “mid-life crisis” of sorts and they all have Harley’s. The mission? Well it’s the same for every good bike trip; to experience the open road, while relishing the feeling of extreme freedom (and of course to see some sights in the process). This could very well be the reason so many people are hitting the road, biker-style this summer, and why not? It’s a great way to experience the world, and hey, it’s a whole lot cheaper than taking your car, truck, or SUV.  Ask any biker what it’s like and they will tell you that once you’ve ridden on a motorcycle cross-country, riding in a car feels like being in a cage. The feeling of your body moving from side to side as you sweep along the endless stretch of highway is like living out a movie with you and your bike as the main characters.  The smell of fresh pine and honeysuckle can only be imagined from the inside of a car. But on a bike, there is a feeling of oneness with nature, with the open road, and with freedom. More and more these days people are ditching their cars and trucks and getting on motorcycles to travel, to run errands, or to go to work (yes, it’s unconventional, but still pretty cool indeed!)  This summer, the Gorilla visited one small city he has frequented many times and was surprised to find that many of the locals were even riding around on scooters instead of using their cars for short distances within the city. Hmm. Smart idea! So the point is simple: Whether you thinking about exploring the Outer Banks or the Cumberland Gap, or simply trying to save on gasoline, a bike trip is a good option this summer!  

If you haven’t yet experienced biking on the open road whether it be on a motor scooter, a Kawasaki, or a Harley, rent or buy one and get out there and enjoy all of the open road our beautiful US of A has to offer! Happy Trails to you, but be safe!

Well it has finally happened folks. The first state in the union to get smart about the food served in public restaurants is, of course, the forerunner: California. The terminator placed a ban on trans-fats in that state, which will ‘terminate’ forever the use of the artery-clogging fats once and for all. Specifically, he signed legislation that will ban restaurants and other fast food retail establishments from using oil, margarine, and shortening containing trans-fats.  Trans-fats, are extremely unhealthy man-made fats that are both unnecessary and difficult to digest and consuming them increases one’s risk of coronary artery disease by raising levels of bad LDL cholesterol and lowering HDL or good cholesterol levels.  Governor Schwarzenegger has been advocating a healthy lifestyle since his days as Mr. Universe, so it’s only fitting that the “Govenator” should be the first to sign the new legislation. “Today we are taking a strong step toward creating a healthier future for California,” he said.  So which states will follow suit? Well although California is the first to have a state-wide ban on trans-fats in restaurants, it is certainly not the first to do it in general. The great state of California joins cities like New York, Baltimore, Philadelphia, Seattle, and Montgomery County MD, all of which have ordinances banning them. The California legislation will take effect on Jan. 1, 2010.  Some say it is an attempt for Big Brother to tell us how to live, but as you probably figured out by now, the Gorilla LOVES this ban and wishes it had come a lot sooner! Will it change lives? Well that is yet to be determined, but in the Gorilla’s humble opinion, it sure won’t hurt!

Have you ever wondered how much of the energy the gasoline you put in your tank really uses? Well, if the Gorilla told you, you probably wouldn’t believe it! Of the gasoline you put in your car’s tank, only a mere 25% of the energy is actually used to power your car…the rest is expelled out of your exhaust pipe! Yuck! (Global warming anyone?)  What a waste of precious energy and money. But wait- don’t think for a minute you and the Gorilla are the only ones who are bothered by this fact. Many people over the years have tried to create ways to harness that additional energy to make your gas go a lot further, but no one has found a practical way to do it- until now.   Researchers at the Ohio State University and Caltech in California have found a way to harness and recycle some of the extra energy using a thermoelectric material that is nearly twice as effective as current materials. ”The material does all the work. It produces electrical power just like conventional heat engines — steam engines, gas or diesel engines — that are coupled to electrical generators, but it uses electrons as the working fluids instead of water or gases, and makes electricity directly,” Joseph Heremans, who led the project, said in a statement.  Jeff Snyder of Caltech worked on the project and says that the device can increase the vehicle’s fuel efficiency by 10%. Snyder says the idea of thermoelectrics has been around for a long time, but it didn’t make sense when oil was only $20 per barrel. ”Now that energy costs have gone up by a factor of five, these alternative ideas that have been around for awhile are a lot more viable,” Snyder said in a telephone interview. He believes it would be possible to make the systems available in the next 10 years. Hmmm…10 years?  

Call the Gorilla crazy, but 10 years just seems a little too late, considering the ballgame could quite possibly be a bit more “green” by then! After all, aren’t automakers currently focusing on the non-use of gasoline and more energy efficient cars in the next 10 years? A good idea, yes- but it’s just too bad the good idea didn’t have better timing! It would be great to have that technology available right now when we are currently experiencing an energy crisis, with gasoline costing more than $4 per gallon! But yes, a great idea indeed, and who knows, maybe in ten years gasoline may still be the number one source of energy for automobiles. (But let’s hope not!)

 It is no secret that the Gorilla is a big fan of fitness and staying healthy and in shape. It’s certainly a lifestyle, and he believes that a healthy body equals a healthy and happy mind. No one person exemplifies this way of life better than the happy-go-lucky health guru- Richard Simmons. Just when you thought you had heard enough of his seemingly slap-happy banter, he’s back! And this time he’s bending the ears of Congress!  The 60-year-old spoke to Congress in a passionate speech Thursday morning, pleading with them to keep physical fitness in schools and even improve upon current programs. “What have we done to the kids of the United States of America? This is wrong. …I just may run for office to help really get this through.” Simmons said. Richard Simmons in a political position? Please Congress, do something soon!  The Gorilla can just picture Richard Simmons leading those old geezers in Congress in a pre-session cardio warm up! But seriously, the Gorilla believes Mr. Simmons is absolutely justified in his fervency, but with the current state of the economy and school districts’ already waning budgets, how can America afford to keep schools’ phys-ed programs, let alone improve upon them?  Simmon’s speech comes just before some proposed budget cuts for schools will be taking place in Congress. One of those programs proposed to have cuts is physical fitness. Simmons spoke at length on Fox and Friends today about how too much fast food and too little or no exercise has contributed to the obesity epidemic in our country.  He went on to speak about how he was the ”fat kid” in school when he was younger. When he graduated from high school in New Orleans, he weighed a whopping 273 pounds. It was at that point that he adopted a healthy lifestyle of moderate eating and lost the weight. In 1973, he moved to San Diego and became a Hollywood success story. Now, tackling Congress about the physical education program in America’s schools may be the biggest challenge he’s had thus far. “I think if kids move, they learn better because the blood is flowing and they’re happier,” Simmons said on FOX & Friends. “Our kids need to exercise everyday in every school.”

Time and time again, each school year seems to bring more drama to the classroom. And no, not the kind that is required in theater class. The Gorilla is talking about the drama that plays out between teachers and students. It never ceases to amaze the Gorilla how irresponsible teachers have become over the last decade, with teachers having affairs with students (and sometimes even babies with them) and physical confrontations, as well as verbal confrontations.  It seems that teachers don’t realize that they are the adults and are required to follow a certain protocol of behavior. Yes, we know: Students don’t act the way they should either. And we know that, in many cases, teachers have been pushed to their limits and have no recourse in gaining control over some students’ outrageous behavior.  It is also widely known that, in some cases, teachers must fear for their lives since they never know what a student will do. So, what has happened? Where did the breakdown occur, and how can we rectify the situation? Can it even be rectified?  The Gorilla has mentioned this issue several times in his blogs simply because he himself has had to deal with certain inappropriate situations from his kids’ teachers. Today, a student is suing her teacher for calling her “ugly” and “a brat,” and on top of that, the teacher physically assaulted the student by giving her a good swift kick in the buttocks, before ordering her to leave the class!  According to the 14-year-old student, she only asked to participate in a singing telegram that was taking place for Valentine’s Day and the teacher became angry. Granted the girl may well have been a “brat,” but does that give a teacher the right to lose her cool? Should a teacher be allowed to do that? Or is she justified in her actions? The Gorilla thinks not. Definitely not.  Teachers have been getting away with saying (and doing) inappropriate things to students for years now and something just has to give. The Gorilla recalls one instance in particular in which the teacher revealed private things about one of his children to the entire class, humiliating her in front of all of her peers. There are a dozen more examples that are equally shocking, but that is just a sample. The teacher was reprimanded and put on probation for her actions, but that is only because a parent actually spoke up.  In the Gorilla’s humble opinion, this behavior must stop. Now look, the Gorilla knows how tough teachers have it. Make no mistake, they work very hard for so little pay and must put up with society’s brattiest and most out of control delinquents. The Gorilla sympathizes. But, even if a young student is acting belligerent or even threatening the teacher, the teacher must still always maintain a certain level of composure.  The Gorilla is, quite frankly, sick of these ridiculous stories about confrontations between teachers and students. Back in the day, you simply gave the kid a pink slip and outta there he/she went immediately. No questions, no confrontation, and no problem. And the kid got to sit in the principal or dean’s office and then off to detention the next day. If it happened again, 2 days of detention, and then 3 strikes and you were out- quite literally, as you were expelled for a period of several days.  So where is the support system for teachers nowadays? Teachers should never be put in situations that are too much for any human to handle. The Gorilla urges you to get involved with your children’s PTO and make suggestions regarding discipline that can be helpful in benefiting both teachers and students. Maybe if more parents spoke up, we could change things back to the way they were 20 years ago! Hey, a Gorilla can dream, can’t he?

When a loved one dies, it is beyond painful. Understandably, people sometimes go to great lengths to preserve the memory of those they loved, and surely everyone who has suffered such a loss sympathizes with this ideology. But can people sometimes go a little too far with it?  Well, that’s up to you to decide, but when the Gorilla heard about this weird phenomenon, he got a bit creeped out. Why? Well because one company is capitalizing on death and bereavement by offering to turn your loved one’s remains into jewelry- specifically a precious diamond. Sure, why not wear your lovely Aunt Theresa right around your neck after she passes? If that’s not a tribute to those you love, what is?  The company, called LifeGem, uses the motto: “Like the memory of a loved one, a diamond lasts forever” and specializes in a patented process of creating diamonds (almost exactly like the real things) made of the carbon remains of your cremated loved one or from the carbon in the hair from your deceased loved one. Creepy? Again, that is for you to decide, but then again, to each his own.  The process is a painstaking one that involves a heating procedure, which heats the carbon in sealed containers called “crucibles” to over 3000 degrees. The idea is to replicate the earth’s natural process of converting carbon to graphite to create a pure diamond. Interesting? Well, yes, extremely, and no, this is not exactly a new concept either.  General Electric first had the patent on this process back in the 1950’s. But present day technology has brought this unique idea to the forefront and has made it a reality for those who wish to keep the memory of their loved one alive forever. It’s really not all that strange if you consider that many cultures in the history of civilization have performed similar bizarre acts when those they loved died.  The Ancient Egyptians, for example, buried their deceased with all of their expensive worldly possessions in a mummification process that was meant to ensure entry into the next life. The ancient Chinese (and modern day as well) believe that you should have a public mourning for a period of 49 days and during different days carry out specific rituals at the grave site, such as burning money and incense. They are also very careful about where they bury their dead and which way the deceased will face in some cases.  Some Native American Indians believe that if you die in your home, your spirit remains there, so many choose to die in hospitals instead. Some also believe that if you lost a limb in life that it must be preserved and replaced after the person has passed in order to be buried whole. Yes, folks it is the Western Civilizations that are considered to be the “abnormal” ones when it comes to their views and perceptions about death.  

So, is it really all that odd to want your Mother’s remains preserved in a beautiful diamond to wear close to your heart? Perhaps not, but the Gorilla isn’t expecting any of his loved ones to go to such extremes. Just bury him in a cool place, with a banana in his hand, and he will be just fine!

It’s happened to all of us. The dreaded cell phone call we needed to make, but didn’t want to. You know what the Gorilla is referring to. That call to your boss to tell him you didn’t make the deadline or that call to your girlfriend to tell her “it’s over.” Or how about the call to that “Chatty Kathy” you work with that has you praying for her voicemail every time you dial her?  Yes, we have all had moments where we just wanted to skip the actual conversation and just leave a message and now a new service called Slydial lets you do just that. The concept of the service is not necessarily a new one. However, unlike similar services that are limited to only others in your network, Slydial actually lets you do this with anyone at anytime in the U.S., and not just another person in your network.  Slydial is simple and easy: Users simply call 267-SlyDial and listen to a short advertisement (or you can pay 15 cents per call to skip this step) and the call is then directed straight to the person’s voicemail. And voila! The awkwardness is avoided altogether (or at least delayed). Recipients still get a notification of a voicemail or in some cases even a missed call. Gavin Macomber, Co-Founder of MobileSphere Ltd., the company behind SlyDial, says that “everybody has gone through the scenario where they’ve called somebody and just hoped they got voicemail so they didn’t have to have a conversation.”  He, like so many of us, believes that SlyDial can come in handy in the business world as well as in our personal lives, and the Gorilla agrees. Not only are conversations sometimes too time-consuming, but yes, they can be terribly awkward as well. But let’s not get too comfortable with this concept folks…after all, it’s not completely foolproof, as sometimes a half ring may actually occur, alerting the receiver that you just called! They may call you back right away, without ever listening to the voicemail you left. Oops! Backfire. God forbid you have to talk with them!   

As convenient as it may be to simply “avoid” actually conversing with others, let’s just be honest here– this behavior sounds remarkably like “cowardice” in a lot of ways! Call it what you will, but it’s an interesting service.

Have you ever wondered if you can get better health information on the Internet than you can from your own physician? Many people rely on the Internet to attempt to diagnose problems that they are having prior to seeing a doctor, and surprisingly, many doctors actually condone this practice. Why? Because some doctors believe that with the limited time they have with patients now, it is tedious to have to sit and go over symptoms, and it is simply too time consuming. They believe that if a patient comes in prepared, after having done their own research online, the patient is more aware of what is ailing them.  Doctors can then get right to making a diagnosis based upon the information about the exact symptoms that the patient is experiencing. Of course there are many doctors who believe just the opposite is true. These physicians believe that often times when people do their own research to try and “self diagnose” they can actually make it more difficult on the doctors who are treating them, by complicating the matter.  But what do you think? The Gorilla knows that if something is ailing him, he can do his own “pre-diagnosis” to narrow it down. That way, you have a precise idea of what is wrong with you prior to seeing the doctor, and you can even make suggestions of what you think it could be based on your online diagnosis. The Internet is a great tool to research medical problems and one woman in the UK found out exactly how good it really is when she used it to diagnose her daughter’s illness when doctors could not find one.  For 6 months, the 16-year-old girl suffered with severe headaches and fatigue. When doctors could not find a diagnosis, the girl’s mother turned to the Internet and found a disease with all of the symptoms her daughter was suffering from- Lymes disease. And when she told the doctor to run the test, they found that it was, in fact, Lymes disease. Without this important information, the girl could have died. Thank God this mother did her “homework!!  So do you think you could do the same thing? Sure you could!  There are several websites dedicated to helping patients pinpoint certain illnesses based upon their symptoms and they can be extremely helpful when patients are faced with a medical problem. WebMD and Healthline, for instance, are sites that let you target the exact area of the body based on whether you are male or female, and along with its “symptom checker,”, helps you narrow down your symptoms. It then gives you all of the possible illnesses based on those symptoms. The result is an idea or several ideas of the direction in which you want your doctor to go. These sites may also be helpful in making you aware of certain treatment options that your doctor may have overlooked or failed to mention. Many patients look to the Internet for alternative treatments to illnesses, such as cancer, diabetes, and heart problems. Certain search engines can also give patients access to treatment centers and their locations. And don’t think patients are the only ones using the Internet to help research and diagnose medical conditions; physicians often rely on the power of the Internet to help them find valuable information and resources as well.  So should you be doing your own “self-diagnosis,” as well using the Internet? Well, that is entirely up to you, but doctors warn that too much “self-diagnosis” can be dangerous and they say that no matter what the concern is, you should always seek help from a medical professional even if you think you know what is wrong. Yes, online medical help cannot replace actual tests and getting professional help and treatments, but it certainly can be helpful, and that is the whole point of the Internet!

When thinking of whom our modern day heroes might be, one image instantly comes to mind for the Gorilla: Nelson Mandela. He is a hero amongst heroes, and he spent 27 years in an African prison to earn that title- although that was certainly not his plight. His plight was to end apartheid in his native South Africa, and when he stood up for the cause, he was thrown mercilessly in jail for it. “I was not born with the hunger to be free. I was born free” Mandela said in his autobiography. And he never swayed from that belief or backed down to anyone at anytime.  Eventually the reign of white supremacy in South Africa ended and Mandela was finally released from prison and the world watched the jubilant celebration of millions of South Africans, who had been liberated at last. Nelson Mandela celebrated his 90th birthday today and many dignitaries from around the world were there to join in the celebration of the man, the hero, and the icon. But the legend isn’t only known for his anti-apartheid campaign, which continued when he was released from prison in 199,0 when he led negotiations that ended decades of racist white rule. He is also a staunch advocate for AIDS awareness, literacy, and fights against poverty. In fact, even at his 90th birthday party, he was calling on the nation’s wealthy citizens to share with those who are less fortunate and who are losing their battle against poverty. “There are many people in South Africa who are rich and who can share those riches with those not so fortunate who have not been able to conquer poverty,” Mandela said.  

Many people ask the Gorilla who his hero is, and although there are many athletes the Gorilla looks up to and admires, he can’t help but think of the man who truly personified strength of character and true integrity. A man who was not going to let his own personal fears reign supreme over the truth of what he knew was the right thing for himself, his people, and his country. He said in his 1994 inaugural speech (a quote from Marianne Williamson) “As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” And in his case that certainly held true. That is truly what a hero represents, and the world should be grateful for having had Nelson Mandela in it for all of these 90 years. Happy Birthday Mr. Mandela!