GorillaOffTopic, Everything But Gorilla Trades

Ever wonder what it would be like to take a flight somewhere and actually be able to use that laptop you lugged aboard for Internet access? You probably know that it’s been in the works for a while now, but now it’s become a reality.  JetBlue will be offering limited email and instant messaging services on some of its flights as early as next week to try and renew efforts to offer in-flight Internet access. The great news is that it will be absolutely free! Wow..something free on an airplane flight in THIS volatile economy? That’s certainly a hard thing to believe!  But before you get too excited, notice what the Gorilla relayed earlier about this announcement; it’s LIMITED Internet access. So what does that mean exactly? Well, to start with, general email attachments and web surfing will not be permitted because of bandwidth constraints. In addition, if you want to use your laptop or handheld device you will have to use services from Yahoo only, which will limit some people, but then again, you could always forward your corporate emails to a Yahoo account, right?  Jet Blue also has a deal with Research in Motion to allow passengers with one of two Blackberry models (which both have WI-FI capabilities) to check personal email and work email as well.  JetBlue plans to debut its new system on an Airbus A320 on Tuesday’s flight from New York to San Francisco. The aircraft has been specially designated “BetaBlue,” as it will be used to test the systems new entertainment services offered through JetBlue’s subsidiary LiveTV. As far as use of the devices during take-off and landing, that has not changed, and JetBlue still requires them to be turned off during take off and landing.  

Glenn Fleishman, editor of the Wi-Fi Networking News site, said he “knew of no commercial airline currently offering such services, though many will debut next year.” But other airlines are expected to follow suit with the use of the Internet, etc. and AMR Corp.’s  American Airlines is expected to do so as early as within the next few months. So is it a good thing even though you may be “limited?” Well, at least it’s a start. Even if you are limited to certain devices, certain options, and using Yahoo services, most people believe that if they can at least access their corporate emails while in flight, that takes care of a lot of issues. And that my friends, limited as it may be, is better than nothing!

Have you ever wondered what would really happen if you pursued a lawsuit with the telemarketing company that did not heed the “do not call list” you requested to be put on? Well, one company is experiencing just that kind of karma right now to the tune of almost $95,000 in fines. That’s right folks. Finally, someone is paying for all those bothersome phone calls they made to folks who didn’t want to be bothered.  According to Federal Regulators, two telemarketing companies, both working on behalf of the Dish Network, are being made to pay the fine after violating the National Do Not Call list and making customers listen to recordings for too long. Planet Earth Satellite is accused of calling customers, who are listed on the National Do Not Call Registry, and Star Satellite, LLC, is accused of failing to connect customers with a live telemarketer within 2 seconds after the consumer answered the call. Apparently, there is a 2 second rule (who knew), which was implemented after people (mostly women and the elderly) expressed concern that they were being stalked. That would explain the brief delay you experience upon answering the phone and saying “hello” when no one answers you right away. (The Gorilla knows we have all had this happen!)  The Federal Trade Commission said that “the company, its president, and other defendants were ‘unjustly enriched’ by these ‘unlawful practices.’” Hmm. “Unjustly enriched” is what they are calling it? The Gorilla calls it just plain harassment! He can’t count the number of times that the phone rang during dinner time and he had to push back his chair, jump over the dog, wipe his hands and mouth, (all on the way to the phone) and swallow his last bite of food just in case it was his mother-in-law calling, and it turned out to be none other than a telemarketer! The last time it happened, the Gorilla asked the man for his home phone number and told him he would gladly call the man back at his residence during his dinner time!  A little advice from the Gorilla: When telemarketers call you, ask the name of the company and keep a log of the name and the date. Then request to be put on the “do not call” list.  If they call you again, you can report them to the Bureau of Consumer Protection or whatever agency your state uses to fight against phone telemarketer harassment (or you could just NOT answer the phone!).

Ever wonder why you’ve tried doing the 100-calorie snack thing and it doesn’t seem to help your diet? In fact, research shows, it may very well hurt you in the long run. The reason? Well, mostly it’s psychological, but psychology has a lot (not all) to do with physiology and why we gain or lose weight. Many people who are watching their weight (even the Gorilla is guilty of this) have tried or frequently eat, those little 100-calorie snack packs, but health researchers say that may be doing more harm than good because of the psychology involved in eating them.  You see, it’s a little trick that your mind subconsciously plays on you. You tell yourself that the packs are only a meager 100 calories, but mentally you are telling yourself that you can eat more at the next meal, or have more snacks than you normally would throughout the day, resulting in more calories consumed, rather than less. The result is weight gain instead of weight loss. Bummer.  The trouble is, we have all been told that consuming fewer calories results in weight loss, and while that may be true in some cases, it is not always the case. You see, it’s not so much how many calories you’re eating, as much as what you are eating that is important. You may be snacking all day long on low cal foods that are really not all that healthy for you, causing your body to retain fat instead of lose it.  Foods high in sodium for instance, fill the body with water and cause weight gain so if you think that eating 10 snack- packs of 100-calorie goldfish all day long and nothing else (totaling only 1,000 calories) will result in weight loss, you are probably wrong. In addition most of the low cal snack foods inhibit proper digestion again, causing weight gain. The solution? Try eating less of the foods that have nutritional labels and more of those that have none. In other words, eat fresh produce such as fruits, vegetables, and nuts. Fresh fish is also a good example, but just make sure you bake it or broil it- don’t fry it.  Another reason to quit snacking unhealthily? Food allergies. No, not the severe food allergies such as those triggered by peanuts or shellfish etc. but allergies that create low-grade, delayed reactions to food, that until now, researchers weren’t aware of. These simple food allergies can cause swelling of the feet and ankles and an overall bloated look in certain people. Research now shows that these hidden allergies are low-grade food sensitivities, which can trigger a chronic immune reaction and inflammation. And anything that causes inflammation interferes with your metabolism and leads to weight gain.   

So what is the solution? Take a holiday from the foods you normally eat and replace them with healthy foods, such as fresh fish, vegetables, and fruit (not citrus) instead. Try leaving out these foods: gluten (wheat, barley, rye, spelt, oats, kamut), dairy, eggs, corn, yeast and citrus. When you do this for a couple of weeks, you may notice that a host of other problems are no longer present, such as headaches, chronic fatigue, joint and muscle pain, and sinus problems to name a few.  So yes, you may have to ditch the snack-packs, but hey, you may be ditching a diet trap you weren’t even aware was present! (And your headaches may finally subside as well!) Good luck and healthy eating!

Over the last several years, the U.S. has waged a war against smoking (mostly targeting teens and young adults), and the campaign has cost big tobacco billions of dollars. The good news is that, according to the report “America’s Children in Brief: Key National Indicators of Well-Being 2008,” teen smoking is down. Unfortunately, while everyone was at the anti-smoking party, teen pregnancy sneaked in and robbed the house!  According to the National Institute of Health, teen pregnancies are up for the first time since 1991. It seems like every time we take a step forward we end up taking two steps back! The report comes after a rash of high-profile teenagers, such as Jamie Lynn Spears and several teenagers at Glouster High School in Massachusetts, gave birth recently. Federal health officials don’t know why the numbers have jumped in this past year since there isn’t sufficient enough data at this time to indicate the reasons why.  The Director of the National Center for Health Statistics in the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, says that it could be a “blip” in the data, but is it really, or is it a trend? He also says that teen pregnancy rates are an indicator of how the overall health and mental well being of these teens will be for the next 20 years to come. Another concern is that many teens don’t get the proper prenatal care, which can contribute to low birth weight and a variety of other health issues in babies. A cutback in community resources for youth over the last eight years could help explain the increase in teen pregnancies, said Michele Ozumba, director of the Georgia Campaign for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention. She claims that the small community-based organizations are struggling to keep their doors open. Less resources for kids in need means it’s easy for teens to feel alone or unable to trust anyone.  Whether teens feel more emotionally unstable now than in the past or whether it is the “in” thing to do (such as the pact made by teens in the pregnancy sect in Massachusetts), is the question that needs to be answered before it becomes an epidemic. It sure seems to the Gorilla that it could be a “lesser of two evils” situation: there may be less people potentially dying of lung cancer from smoking, but there may be a new baby-boom ensuing among teen instead!

The earth’s atmosphere is full of greenhouse gas emissions, which is not news. But did you know that it is believed that a potentially large percentage of it could be coming from those cute, chubby, mooing beefsteaks we call cows? Silly yes, but entirely true! It has been widely known for decades that animal waste has contributed methane to the greenhouse effect, but not a lot of attention has been paid to its potential effects. Until now, carbon dioxide emissions received most the credit for its large contribution to the earth’s greenhouse effect, but scientists in Argentina have decided to take a closer look at cows, and what they may be contributing.  Argentina is one of the world’s biggest beef producers, with some 55 million cows grazing on its famed Pampas Grasslands. And Methane, researchers say, is 23 times more potent than carbon dioxide in trapping heat in the atmosphere and can be found in animal waste, landfills, coal mines and leaking natural gas pipes. Researchers say the slow digestive system of cows makes them a producer of methane so they found an effective way to measure just how much that could be. The researchers attach a red plastic tank to a cow’s back and connect it through a tube to the animal’s stomach, and scientists say they can trap bovine burps and analyze them. (Yes, the Gorilla did say “burps”).  “When we got the first results, we were surprised. Thirty percent of Argentina’s (total greenhouse) emissions could be generated by cows,” said Guillermo Berra, a researcher at the National Institute of Agricultural Technology. It’s simply unbelievable that a cow, weighing around 1200 pounds, could emit that amount of methane-equal to almost 1000 liters- daily. Scientists are now working to develop new diets for cows that will make it easier for them to digest food. They are working on testing out alfalfa and clover and trying to move away from grains. “We have done a preliminary study and have found that by using tannins, you can reduce methane emissions by 25 percent,” said Silvia Valtorta of the National Council of Scientific and Technical Investigations.  

Wow! You’d think that someone would have figured this out a bit sooner! Let’s just hope they don’t find any greenhouse gas emissions in Gorilla burps. Can you imagine them trying to put a tank on a Gorilla’s back? That one could be costly!

Life isn’t supposed to be mediocre? That’s basically what a school district in Northern Kentucky is stating by trying to eliminate “C” as a passing grade. The Eminence Independent School District in Henry County has already done away with D’s in its district and soon the C could be unacceptable as a passing grade as well. “Getting a D is like doing the bare minimum,” said Carter Martin, a middle and high school business teacher. “Life isn’t like that.”  The Henry School District did away with D’s almost 4 years ago and it has been surprisingly successful. School officials there say that the failure rate has dropped and that standardized test scores have risen 13% for middle school students and 10% for high school students making those who once doubted the change, believers. “We raised their standards, and they met them,” said Steve Frommeyer, principal of Eminence’s middle and high schools. Students claim that they were “scared about the change,” but that it made kids “kick it into gear” once they knew what was expected of them. The Henry County School District will vote next month for the change to eliminate C’s for the 2009-2010 school year, which would require 300 middle school and high school students to score no less than an 80% to earn a passing grade.  Not every district is a fan of the proposed change. Some say that it puts way too much pressure on kids, especially those with learning disabilities. Maryland and Florida abandoned the policy because too many kids were failing. In Oldham County, 2 schools have abolished the D, but some parents are angry, citing that their kids are getting thrown off of sports teams and that their grade point averages have been affected. (The Gorilla used to be a wrestler in high school and you weren’t allowed to have any D’s back then!) ”There are kids with learning disabilities that are falling through the cracks,” said David Miller, who pulled his son out of North Oldham High School, after he failed several classes under the policy. “This policy seems to be a way to push them through the cracks more quickly.” But Eminence officials are careful to phase in the policy in stages- one grade at a time. And Frommeyer says there will be safeguards put into place to assist those who have learning disabilities or are having a tough time with the change.  The school district learned a tough lesson in 2002 by acting too quickly to remove D’s and the failure rate jumped from 5%  to 18%, with many students being held back that year. They say they won’t make that mistake again! “You just don’t raise the standards and say, ‘Good luck, kids,’ ” Frommeyer said.”You have to have a lot of other standards in place.” He said the new grading scale would eliminate the C grade gradually.  

The Gorilla agrees with these new standards and policies in our schools, at least as far as eliminating the D is concerned, but C’s? The Gorilla doesn’t know about that one. It seems to the Gorilla that a ”D” signifies barely passable, which in essence, is saying one can get by with the bare minimum. Thus, it makes sense that it should be deemed unacceptable and done away with. But a “C” means “average” or “okay,” and there are a lot of “average” “okay” people in this world, and there is certainly nothing wrong with that. Hmm. Overall, it seems unlikely that most school systems will eliminate a C, but a D? Now that’s good policy!

What makes you laugh? And when was the last time you laughed really, really hard- so hard, that your belly muscles ached afterwards? Has is been a week? A month perhaps, or possibly years since you have laughed that hard? Think about that for a moment. The Gorilla will bet that it’s probably been a while.  Times are excruciatingly tough right now, and that my friends, is no joke. Take a look around at people’s faces when you venture out today. What do you see? The misery is very apparent on so many people’s faces, and it’s such a shame. So, why not try some “laughter therapy?”  It seems silly, but if you are one of the millions of people affected by these tough times, you may want to take stock in what the Gorilla is suggesting to you. Scientific evidence proves that laughter truly is good medicine. Research shows that after a bout of laughter, there is a brief period during which blood pressure drops and heart rate, respiratory rate, and muscle activity decrease, resulting in relaxation. Now this is certainly not to say that we should use laughter to replace other therapies for potentially serious problems.  The Gorilla is simply suggesting that trying a good joke or watching a comedic film or TV show can help ease some of the stresses in today’s volatile world. Shakespeare wrote this line in the ’Taming Of The Shrew’: “And frame your mind to mirth and merriment, which bars a thousand harms and lengthens life.” For years, the wisdom of such anecdotes has offered such healing powers.  In 2005, a study by The American College of Cardiology found that laughing appears to boost your blood flow and researchers say it may reduce your risk of developing heart disease, and it can even help fight infections, relieve hay fever, ease pain, and help control diabetes. In addition, these researchers found that similar to aerobic activity, laughing increased blood flow by more than 20% and stress decreased by 30%. Overall, everyone involved in the study reported feeling better and the effects of the laughter lasted anywhere from 30-45 minutes. There are a whole plethora of emotions and feelings that one can experience through laughter; joy, happiness, peacefulness, a feeling of well being, relaxation, and love.  And who doesn’t want to feel all of those wonderful things?  

The whole world could use a little bit of laughter, so do your part. Researchers say that we all need about 15 minutes of “laughter therapy” per day, so get going! Tell a funny joke or story. Share a funny or happy thought. Make someone laugh and you will find yourself laughing as well.

Two-thirds of Americans are overweight or obese. That is not a healthy statistic, but the Gorilla has a theory; America is about to get healthy again because the high costs of food may just prompt people to eat much less, whether they like it or not.  You see, food manufacturers are about to give you less bang for your buck. Yes, the packaging will look almost the same, and the change will be hard to notice, but less is exactly what you are getting, and as unfair as that may be, it may be the “tough love” the doctor didn’t order for America’s much needed weight crisis. It’s called “short-sizing” and it’s a way for manufacturers to keep costs down. Ice cream, for example has gone from a half-gallon to 1¾ quarts to now as little as 1½ quarts, but it costs the same price or even more now!   Breakfast cereal is probably the most obvious culprit, giving you 1-2 ounces less than before. And it’s not just food. Inspectors in the New York City area found that it is also personal items, such as soap and lotions that have been short-sized as well. And how about flour and wheat products? The Gorilla noticed it the other day; much smaller packages, but at the same price as the formerly larger size. Bummer!  

Now, that’s not going to help anyone lose anything but their dough! (Pun intended.) It’s not just supermarkets that are short-sizing either. Restaurants have started making the changes and it’s so very sneaky, you may not even notice it. Some restaurants are serving meals on smaller plates for the same price as the once larger plates (which in the Gorilla’s humble opinion gave you way too much food to begin with). Manufacturers say that they have been hurt by the high cost of both fuel and raw ingredients. Faced with losing tremendous business, these and other manufacturers said that in general, they had a choice: either shrink the product or increase the price. Some even resorted to both of these options, leaving consumers scratching their heads.  Although this problem may seem annoying and unfair to some (and it surely is), might it really be a blessing in disguise? After all, smaller quantities of food mean less intake, which equals some unintended weight loss. Face it, Americans are all spoiled and eat way too much anyhow! And since people don’t like ”dieting,” it seems to be sort of a backhanded way to get some results for the two-thirds of us who really seem to need it. Hey that’s the best kind, of weight loss! So although the higher cost for less product may seem like a raw deal, just call it a silver lining you never knew you needed!

Every day a new study reveals some new and interesting data about the many uses of marijuana (besides the obvious) and this one is no exception. Apparently, early results of the newest study reveal that marijuana can reduce the effects of acne. Wow! Careful now. Teens and acne are like peanut butter and jelly, now throw in some pot and you have a hormonal, acne-prone teen with the munchies!  But yes, it is very true. Scientists have discovered that our own body not only makes chemical compounds similar to the active ingredient in marijuana (THC), but these play an important part in maintaining healthy skin. So yes, marijuana is said to have chemicals that can clear up some forms of acne in people, but Dr. Rob Ashton says that since there are already endogenous cannabanoids present in our bodies, there is no need to smoke the drug. (Tell that one to the potheads!) The question is, can it work in our body, and can we teach our bodies to make more?  That is exactly what researchers are trying to figure out. However, the studies are in the earliest stages of research, so scientists are trying to find a way to break it down and produce it in a way that people can actually use it in a practical form. However, researchers warn that people should not go out and try smoking Marijuana to try and clear up their acne. In addition to its hallucinogen effects, marijuana can cause lung cancer and health problems. They are simply saying that there are properties in the cannabis plant that may be beneficial in treating some forms of acne once they find a pharmaceutical company that can break it down properly so it can be used in a practical way; i:e: topical or oral.  “This research shows that we may have something in common with the marijuana plant,” said Gerald Weissmann, MD. “Just as THC is believed to protect the marijuana plants from pathogens, our own cannabinoids may be necessary for us to maintain healthy skin and to protect us from pathogens.”  As many already know, cannabis has been used for years to relieve pain symptoms in those patients suffering from Glaucoma, and in cancer patients to relieve nausea and other symptoms. Many of our everyday drugs come from plants and plant derivatives, so this is really no surprise to the Gorilla. But this may all sound a bit ironic or unusual since most of the potheads we all knew in college seemed to have bad skin! I guess we have to just trust those smart researchers since they know better than we do.

In a thriving economy, it is tough to resist the luxury of an expensive cup of java, but in a struggling economy, it’s one of the first things people give up. After all, it’s a discretionary item.  In a recent poll, a large percentage of adults reported that they will no longer be drinking Starbucks. Well that is certainly no surprise; after all, a latte is considered an expensive treat to most. Most of you know what a huge fan the Gorilla has been of Starbucks, but quite frankly, the news of the company’s plans to close over 600 stores, after a rapid-growth expansion, is not really all that surprising.  Walking down the streets of New York city one night, the Gorilla and his wife passed by a Starbucks, which was overflowing with patrons. Within a few seconds it was decided that a cup of coffee sounded just great, but instead of turning around and going back, there was another Starbucks within a few feet of the last one, on the very next corner! This went on and on for miles, from corner block to corner block.  Wasn’t it Starbuck’s original intention to have a location on every street corner in America? It was only two years ago that company executives bragged about how the company could have two outlets in one building. In the mall near the Gorilla’s home, there are actually three stores. The company has been so visible that it was never quite out of “reach,” so to speak. It seemed a little too good to be true that Starbucks stores were virtually everywhere- and a little too accessible. It seemed a little too indulgent, and we all got a little too spoiled- especially Starbucks itself.  So it’s time for the coffee giant to “cool it” for now, and it comes at the worst possible time, adding thousands of job losses to an already flailing economy. Many people have already made the switch from the expensive Starbucks concoctions to the less expensive Dunkin’ Donuts or McDonald’s coffees to save some money during these tough economic times. So, will those people come back to Starbucks once the economy gets better?  “When things were better, I think people preferred Starbucks. The environment is so much better than Dunkin’ Donuts,” Howard Davidowitz chairman of the national retail consulting firm Davidowitz & Associates Inc. said. “But right now,” he added, “what I see in the retail numbers consistently is that pricing has become a more important priority.”
Okay, okay, so yes, the Gorilla is of course biased, but he feels that Starbucks is, by far, the superior product as compared to the others. Besides, the Gorilla had a gourmet Cappuccino at McDonald’s the other day and guess what he found? At $3 and change, the coffee was almost as expensive as a Starbucks coffee and not nearly as good! Wasn’t McDonalds supposed to be the lower price alternative? Hmmm.