GorillaOffTopic, Everything But Gorilla Trades

We are all looking forward this year to the enjoyment that Thanksgiving can bring, especially when, as the Gorilla has mentioned so many times before, the economy is so bad and things aren’t exactly, well, fun right now. The Gorilla would like to recommend that you enjoy some of the little things life has to offer like helping the one you love prepare some of the feast, watching some great TV programming, or just being with your kids or Grandkids. And yes, as a last resort, there certainly is some great programming on television right now, which is precisely the reason the Gorilla mentioned it.

Studies have shown that when times are tough, it is okay, and even somewhat healthy, to focus on other things, and entertainment is a great outlet to get us all thinking about things other than the horrible economy and the fact that we are all broke; a lot of us anyhow! The Gorilla will tell you one thing; the movie theaters have been more packed than ever these days, so that should tell us all something about escaping from reality. And it is perfectly understandable given the circumstances.

Movies are, for the most part, relatively (not entirely) affordable to most of us, and they provide a great escape to the mundane and the stress. Australia comes out on Friday and it looks like a great epic film. (You all know by now how the Gorilla loves a good flick!) But whether it is the movies, the opera, the ballet (which you guys know you were dragged to by your spouse!) or yes, just simple television: entertainment provides us a great escape.

So, sit back and relax this Thanksgiving and how bout’ that Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade? The good thing is- there are still the little things in life, and we can all be thankful for that. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

Well people, it’s almost here. No, not Thanksgiving, but that- ‘dreadful’ to guys, ‘exciting’ to most women- day after Thanksgiving, otherwise known as “Black Friday.” Ah, yes, and black it very well might be, or should we predict red this year. The Gorilla just received an email advising not to buy store gift cards for the holidays because a good many of those companies will be closing some or all of their stores shortly after the holiday season is over.
 
The Gorilla received a list of stores that seemed to be a mile long, and included stores like Kohls, Ann Taylor, Sharper Image (we know it has been in trouble), J. Jill,  Eddie Bauer, Talbots, Gap, Footlocker, some Macy’s locations, and even a few Home Depot stores just to name (literally) a few. The list was so long it was depressing!
 
Many of us are scaling way back this year and that seems to be a common theme during this time of bad economic turmoil and woe. In conversations the Gorilla has been having with friends and family. and simply just people he sees on a day to day basis, everyone is singing the same tune. It is a blues song called, “I ain’t got no money!”
 
All over the U.S., people are pretty much all thinking the same thing; “it’s gonna be a tough holiday this year!” Well, at the very least, it is a good opportunity to examine your life and what you have that is truly important- like family and good friends. With fewer people to buy for this year due to lack of funds, the good news is you can avoid the shopping frenzy (there won’t be one this year anyway), and concentrate on enjoying a little yule tide bliss, free from the pressure of what to buy and for whom! Hey, every dark cloud has A little silver lining!

A year ago, well heck, just a few months ago, many people may have scoffed at the thought of working at places like Wal-Mart, Target, Starbuck’s or McDonalds. Today, those people still have their jobs, and those who scoffed are very likely out of work, broker than heck, and unable to maintain the posh life they once comfortably afforded. A new respect must be given to those hard-working individuals, who refused to live beyond their means, and kept their lower-paying jobs, despite the fact that they didn’t earn a big income and drive a fancy car.

Those of you, who worked on Wall Street and frequented the corner Starbuck’s around the block from your fancy office, know exactly what the Gorilla is talking about here. You with your Blackberry, big expense account, BMW, and six figure-plus salary know who you are. Don’t say you didn’t look down upon that guy or gal in the green apron, who waited on you all those mornings on your way to work. The one who you saw day in and day out, but never bothered to exchange niceties with except maybe a mere “hello”  (and perhaps not even that).

You were much too important, too much in a hurry, and too busy to do more than say just the bare minimum each morning. But now, with many formerly wealthy, “set up,” and highly experienced businessmen out there literally on the street corners, holding up signs that say “hire me,” the shoe is very obviously on the other foot. Alas, what is this the Gorilla sees? Could it be that a spoiled society is finally being humbled?

It’s an ironic scene to picture: Here’s that very same pampas “you know what” just a few short months later, jobless, looking into the Starbuck’s window, envious of those that have work inside. (Albeit maybe not for long!) Perhaps that same now desperate guy should go into that Starbucks he frequented all too often and ask for a job from that girl or guy he so casually dismissed as a “nobody.” But then again, chances are, he/she will remember your smug attitude and wave you off with a dismissive “yeah yeah- just fill out this application and we’ll call you.” Sure they will, and isn’t it funny..why should they? You really don’t deserve it anyway.

It is eerily reminiscent of the great depression isn’t it? Although no one is exactly jumping out of windows quite yet, (not that the Gorilla knows of anyhow) it is so depressing and quite honestly scary as hell! So where are all those Bears Sterns and Lehman guys now? Don’t think for a minute they are working at Wal-Mart or Starbucks, no. They are still in shock and disbelief and well..denial. They haven’t gotten over the loss of their private jets and houses in the Hamptons just yet. Not to mention, it’s a bit difficult to leave their multi-million dollar estate and get into that Lexus to take their place in the Wal-Mart stockroom. No, that certainly wouldn’t be the case for these guys (in their eyes, it is still beneath them to do so at this time), and let’s face it, it’s a tad unrealistic to ask them to isn’t it?

No, most likely they will try getting positions at private firms, perhaps in the same type of business related to what they know well, but with a much smaller salary. Hey, that’s okay, as long as they get something just “for now” to pay those hefty bills that unfortunately have not disappeared along with their lofty jobs. Now don’t get the Gorilla wrong here, there is an enormous amount of pity that he feels for those nice, hardworking folks who have lost their jobs. But only for the ones who always had respect for those who were in lesser positions in life than themselves; those men and women who were successful, but gave back, didn’t live well beyond their means, and who didn’t take advantage of their employer’s wealth. But unfortunately, the Gorilla can’t help but be sarcastic and even cynical about the “other types” since he personally knows quite a few of them through business dealings and the like.

He has witnessed first hand the deplorative actions of these certain types of men and women in business. The dishonest way in which they made deals, the haughty demeanor they carried with their large incomes, their narcissism and constant disregard for others’ well-being or feelings. There are so many of them and they are getting their come-up-ings and the Gorilla can’t help but giggle at the sudden shock; the sudden reality; the sudden humiliation; and finally at the long-overdue opportunity to be humbled at last (albeit through tough economics indeed) but at least they are at last humble- even if it is forced. And in a way it is a purgence of the bad, the ugly, the selfish and the dishonest. Good riddance to you, and may you all learn your lesson. And for all of us who are already humble? Well, we always knew that money won’t make or break us either way in the end.

Over the river and through the woods to Grandmother’s house we go! But even if it’s not exactly Grandma’s house, the Thanksgiving holiday can still be fun, albeit a little stressful. Let’s face it folks; this ain’t exactly your Grandmother’s Thanksgiving holiday!

The Gorilla remembers being a small child and the thought of Thanksgiving was a happy and exciting one, and yes, it did take place most often times at Grandma’s house. Well, those days are long gone and so is Grandma (may she rest in peace). Nowadays, we head on over to another relative’s home to grab some turkey, and some heartburn (not necessarily caused by the food) and we make the “best” of an awkward family gathering.

Today, the topic of conversation will be inevitable; it will be in some way shape or form about the misery of this economy! And since these aren’t the good old fashioned Thanksgivings of our childhood, it’s bound to be a tad awkward. C’mon- many of you can relate and you know it’s true! It’s never easy when Uncle Jimmy lights up that stogie and starts in with all his, “back in the day” stories, or when Aunt Miriam brings her famous casserole (yeah, it’s famous for being awful!). Or how about when your sister-in-law starts soliciting you for financial advice for her husband (your brother) as a way to hint that things aren’t going well. (Oh no, here it comes, the old lead up to the “can we borrow a few bucks?” question again!) And you suddenly start to feel like you are a character in the “Christmas Vacation” movie alongside Chevy Chase.

Yes, we are all victims of certain family gatherings at Thanksgiving and it’s tough to avoid it. This year, the Gorilla decided to spend a nice quiet evening alone with his lady Gorilla and kids, and just when the coast seemed clear on that front, the ringing of that old telephone put that notion to rest. The family wants us to join them for a Thanksgiving feast at their house, once again raining on the Gorilla’s nice quiet little parade of Holiday Turkey bliss. (Sigh). So join his wife’s family he will, once more- after all, it is the “right” thing to do like it or not. Yes, the Gorilla’s sister-in-law (in this case) is a decent enough person; always charming and intentionally hospitable no matter what the occasion. And even though the Gorilla and his wife must be sharing the Thanksgiving table with all of their in-laws as well, (more people than he would have preferred), at least the family tradition- forced or not- is still very much alive and well in this great nation we call the U.S.

So look, whether you are headed to your mother’s, your brother’s, or your Aunt Sally’s, no matter how weird and sometimes obnoxious some of your family members can be, remember one thing, there’s plenty of people out there in the same boat as you friend, so enjoy the feast and relax, and thank heaven it is only for one night a year!

Bad economic times don’t give breaks to those who are going through a divorce, so many couples are putting off getting divorce as a result. Putting off getting a divorce because the economy is bad? This is not just a rumor folks…this is a fact. Divorce attorney’s everywhere are claiming that many couples are simply too strapped to start divorce proceedings so they are putting their impending divorces on “hold” until it is economically more “feasible” for them.

Some couples actually in the middle of a divorce are even suspending proceedings until further notice. The Gorilla finds this interesting, but yet realistic at the same time. Unfortunately for many ex-spouses, those paying child support and alimony are headed back to their attorney’s offices in droves, to lower their financial obligations. The Gorilla’s friend- a successful divorce lawyer- says that this is very common right now, and he’s glad, because with less people getting divorced due to the tough economy, helping people to revise their support obligations is now his primary source of income.

Think about the irony of this situation folks. Most divorces are due to money problems! The Arnerican Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers polled its members this week and the numbers are interesting. Here’s what they found; 37% of the group’s 1,600 members said they saw a decrease in divorce cases during national economic downturns. Forty-four percent said they saw no change, and 19% said they saw an increase.

So does this mean that some marriages could be saved as a result of the delay? Well, that could be true in a few cases, but all in all, marriage counselors and divorce attorneys alike say that it is just delaying the inevitable. However, for those getting alimony and child support, there will be a certain sense of shock for them suddenly having to get used to a lower income from support! But hey, your ex can only do so much about it now that he/she is making a lot less money!

The Gorilla had the opportunity to go on a short vacation last weekend and what he observed at the resort was interesting, considering and was a direct reflection of how bad the economy is right now. To start, the trip was planned well in advance, but although tickets were purchased months in advance, the cost for two round trip tickets from Fort Lauderdale Florida to Nassau, Bahamas (only a 35 minute flight) was still upwards of $800 U.S. dollars. In the past, these tickets- purchase just one month ahead of time- would have cost the Gorilla only around $400 U.S. dollars.

But wait- the Gorilla thought the price of gas had gone down! It has, but that price decrease has not yet “trickled down” to the airlines. (Give it a couple of months folks!) Upon arrival at the Nassau airport, a noon arrival yielded almost no one at the airport, except for those of us on this small flight. The normal hustle bustle of the festive Nassau airport was nowhere to be found. If you have ever been to Nassau airport, then you know that there is a steel drum band playing as you arrive (yes, in the airport itself!) and Bahama Mamas are served just as you pass through customs; literally just as you pass through if you so choose to get one. (And although the Gorilla is not a big drinker- when he arrives in the Bahamas, all bets are off!)

But, no. The feeling of “normal” had certainly been absent on this particular trip and it was an eerie tell-all of just how badly the economy in the U.S. is affecting tourism abroad. The Gorilla should have been clued-in when the resort offered him a free oceanfront room (normally about $600-$700 U.S. dollars per night.) for three nights! (Hey, the Gorilla is no dummy and knows when to take a good deal!) Now this offer is normally reserved for those who do a lot of gambling (the Gorilla does minimal gambling) and would usually never incorporate a room as palatial as the one the Gorilla was given.

Even though, in this case the resort definitely lost money on the Gorilla, most often times, these resorts are “betting” on the fact that people will lose a ton of money gambling, which would obviously far exceed the cost of this fabulous room. Normally, it is a win-win for the resort. But, the Gorilla digresses! The point is, the resorts are desperate! How bizarre to walk through this normally packed casino, and find it almost empty.

However, the moral of this story is that if you want a cheap and affordable vacation, now is the best time ever to take it. So many resorts are practically giving away rooms, food allowances and more in the hopes that you will come and spend money at their establishment. So, yes times are economically tough for everyone, but if you do get the opportunity to take a short get-a-way somewhere, it could cost you a lot less right now than you would have believed. Happy Traveling!

The DTV craze is about to hit and the Gorilla can’t help but think about it. Each day, at least twice a day, advertisers and celebrities show up on the tube to let everyone know that by February of next year, every TV must be switched over to a digital format via a converter or new TV, or risk the chance of losing a clear picture or getting any picture (or station) at all!

The new format will be used by not just some stations as they are now, but by everyone- rendering the old format completely obsolete. But is everyone getting the message? The Gorilla feels sure that there is that little old guy sitting in his trailer home, using his old fashioned antenna, who is just not keen to what is going on with the change. There will probably be many “old school” people who will be stuck with the static and without a signal. But, why digital? What’s wrong with what we currently have? Is it just the pressure and power of progress? Well, no not exactly.

Federal law requires that all full-power television broadcast stations stop broadcasting in analog format and broadcast only in digital format. Why? Well for a couple of reasons actually; first, because all-digital broadcasting will free up frequencies for public safety communications (such as police, fire, and emergency rescue). Also, digital is a more efficient transmission technology, which allows broadcast stations to offer improved picture and sound quality, as well as offer more programming options for consumers through multiple broadcast streams (multicasting). In addition, some of the freed up frequencies will be used for advanced commercial wireless services for consumers. It is not just because we live in a world where everything must be newer, bigger, better, clearer, like one might think!

The Gorilla owns a plasma screen TV that has such an excellent picture, (and no, it’s not HD) he couldn’t imagine something even better. There just seems to be no point to it. But it is the new format and the new way of things, and it is what TV stations are using, leaving us, the viewer and consumer, no choice.

In the end, it will be a change for the better. So in light of the new change, the Gorilla urges you to help that little old man or lady out there who you may know, and might be a little out of touch. Sometimes a television is the only connection for these people to the outside world and they need this lifeline more than you or I. In the meantime, enjoy the last couple of months of the current analog format because as of February 19^th, 2009, if you aren’t on board with the new format, you will be looking at fuzz on your TV screen!

We have all heard the saying, “what goes around comes around,” and every once in a while, the Gorilla laughs his head off at a good come-uping’s story, and this one is no exception. In this case, the Gorilla is referring to the “in-your-face” owner of the Dallas Mavericks, Mark Cuban. If you are a fan of the NBA, then you have probably seen the much too frequent ranting of the billionaire team owner, who has had more than his share of run-ins with league officials for his behavior on the sidelines during his team’s games.

An owner by definition (at least in a sports setting) is supposed to be almost invisible during the games. He is not, after all, a coach or team member. He is certainly not a referee. But no one bothered to tell Mark Cuban the rules it seems, as he has argued with referees, jumped wildly out of his seat yelling profanity’s during games, and has been known to be unruly and disruptive. The wealthy 50-year-old, who also owns Landmark Theaters and HDNet cable television channel, is said to be one of the richest men in the world, with a net worth topping out at about $2.3 billion as of March 2007! And for the better part of his adult life, has managed to tick off dozens of people with his obnoxious demeanor and behavior.

But now, Mark Cuban is feeling the karma, as the Securities and Exchange Commission filed a civil lawsuit against Cuban on Monday in Federal court in Dallas, alleging that in June 2004, Cuban was invited to take part in the public offering for momma.com, after he agreed to keep the information private. The SEC said Cuban knew the shares would be sold below the current market price, so just hours after receiving the information, he told his broker to sell his entire stake of 600,000 shares in the search engine company, before the public announcement of the offering, thus avoiding almost $750,000 in losses according to the SEC. It seems that perhaps even all his money won’t get him out of this one!

Now, don’t get the Gorilla wrong here, he doesn’t necessarily take “joy” in other’s displeasure (even the ultra egomaniac Cuban’s), but it is sometimes funny to see those who think they are above the law, the rules, and all things with “boundaries,” get a little taste of their own icky medicine! Could it be that Mark Cuban will go to jail? Perhaps he could have a meeting with Martha Stewart to learn the ropes if so. Somehow, the Gorilla can’t picture the seemingly ADD Mark Cuban in a cell.  Now that’s what we all refer to as “karma” at its very best!

Beware! The flu season is upon us and everyone is sick, sick, sick! The Gorilla has had many of his friends and associates in the last week to ten days, simply down and out with the flu down here in Florida, and just to warn those who are thinking of coming down in the next few days…this one’s a doozy.

It has been quite a number of years since the Gorilla has personally seen such a strain. This one is not mild or lasting only 24 hours by any means. Currently there are many different strains of Influenza, and there are about 500,000 deaths worldwide each year due to the deadly illness. So how do you know if and when your state will be at risk? Well until recently, no one could have ever determined that, but now Google has come up with a clever new “flu-tracking” system that can be accessed to see who is coming down with the flu and in what areas.

The tool, which launched Tuesday, operates on the idea that there’s likely to be a flu outbreak in states where flu-related search terms are currently popular. The CDC is working in conjunction with Google on the new tool. That is pretty cool, but can it really accurately tell us the numbers simply based on search criteria? That will be a tough one. The tool is still being developed so we will have to wait and see.

Meanwhile, if you start feeling achy all over, tired, and miserable, you probably have the onset of the nasty flu. The Gorilla had it himself recently, and when he went to his own doctor for an appointment, what do ya know? She was out with the flu as well. Ouch! Just what the U.S. needs right now; a nasty case of the flu. Then again, it seems a’ propos!

Are you rude? Perhaps you think you aren’t, but chances are you could be wrong. Rudeness comes in all shapes, sizes, and varieties, and even the nicest people can become impolite at certain times. The Gorilla has seen it time and time again at the airport, in the subway stations, even at the local Pinkberry! And quite frankly, the Gorilla is sick of it. Aren’t you?
 
The Gorilla goes out of his way to be genteel and polite to others, taking time to be patient and understanding, for example, when the clerk at the local supermarket accidentally rang up the wrong item belonging to the guy ahead of him. Case in point. The guy hemmed and hawed and guffawed at the mistake, making it known to the entire store how dismayed he was. He was in a “hurry” he said. Aren’t we all? Meanwhile the little old lady (who could barely stand) was behind the Gorilla in line, but was a quiet as a mouse. She was hunched over and each item she loaded onto the checkout counter seemed to weigh more than the last. Yet she never once complained about the delay. The Gorilla took the opportunity to assist this sweet lady, while the rude gentleman kept on complaining. What was his problem? He was healthy and looked to be in good health. What did he have to complain about? He made the checker feel one inch tall for her mistake. How dare her be human!
 
Many of you have experienced similar situations and have witnessed rude people in action. It’s deplorable, really. This is actually a common behavior, and surely that man didn’t think he was rude at all! Many people justify their rudeness in a variety of ways. There are busy, in a hurry, having a bad day, and the excuses go on and on. But are any of those reasons more important than everyone else’s feelings?
 
In a recent interview, Jerry Seinfield was asked what his number one pet peeve in life was. He said it is society’s “lack of civility.” Now this statement seems ironic coming from the Jerry who portrayed sort of a rude and selfish individual himself on his show. (But then again, that is just acting!) But the Gorilla could not agree more that Americans are, in fact, exactly what the French have always known about us– a rude society! We are so used to it that we are ignorant of the fact. It’s the guy on his cell phone talking a bit too loudly and holding up the security line at the airport; it’s the rude sales associate, who files her nails behind the counter instead of asking if her customers need her help (she can’t be bothered!); it is the person who cuts you off in traffic and then has the gall to give you the finger out of his window!; it’s the lady buying gas, who throws her money at the clerk and walks away as she mumbles the pump number to the clerk, who barely hears her. And how about that appointment who shows up chronically late every time! Is her time more valuable than yours?
 
There are so many reasons why people act rudely the number one reason being that many people are just too rushed to take the time to be civil. The number two reason is that someone is having a bad day. (Still, no excuse!) So what are we to do? How can we as a society make a change for the better? Well, to start, we can all improve the quality of our relationships and lives by choosing to be more considerate, courteous, and polite- after all, studies have shown that going through life rude and angry can make you sick. You may not even realize it, but when people (YOU!) are being rude or nasty, stress hormones are released, flooding your body with toxins and raising your blood pressure. Over time, this can lead to illnesses of all kinds.
 
So, who needs more reason than that to be nice? Here’s a little trick the Gorilla has learned over the years. When you feel yourself getting stressed due to long waits, being late, being moody, or any number of reasons, take a deep breath. Then simply pause and smile. Force yourself. If you allow just ten seconds to go by it is amazing how it can change your outlook for the better. Learn to be understanding and realize that the clerk behind the counter, or the waiter at that restaurant, or the guy in the car you just cut off all have names. They have families, and they have lives just like you! You are no more important than they are- no matter what they do for a living!  We are all working hard, we are all busy, and we all get stressed out. We must learn to look out for one another and be one another’s keeper. It is the golden rule after all!