He’s only been around since the late 17th century, but now suddenly, Santa Claus is too fat? Yes folks, it’s true. Health experts, including the U.S. Surgeon General, warn that Santa Claus is just “too fat” and that his weight may “set a bad example for children.” The Gorilla chuckled upon hearing this ridiculousness. That’s right. Ridiculousness! You know you’re thinking it too! How then would they propose we present Santa Claus to our sweet innocent young ones in the future? Should we traumatize them by re-introducing a new slimmer ”Santa-like” figure by next year? Who here thinks our kids would be impressed?
Now look, the Gorilla will be the first one to admit that obesity in this country, and many other countries, is on the rise. And it is a sad fact that over two thirds of Americans are overweight or obese, but folks, using our beloved Santa Claus to set an example is just, well, wrong! (At least in the Gorilla’s opinion anyway.) It wasn’t enough that the poor guy already lost his pipe- and now in Australia, Santas are banned from saying “ho ho ho” as well. (No, the Gorilla is not joking here.) It was believed that some women may get “offended” by the expression. Now “experts” are attacking his portly stature that has accompanied him all of these hundreds of years? What’s next? Banning his beard, his rosy cheeks, his hat, or his red suit? Egad’s! Who are these “experts” anyhow?
Pardon the Gorilla, but isn’t it our own responsibility- each and every one of us- to be healthy and eat healthy and to teach our children how to take care of themselves properly? Yes, the government has a responsibility to set a good example, as well through FDA regulations and school health programs for our kids, but ultimately, we ourselves, must take responsibility for our health and weight. So, how is attacking good ole’ St. Nick going to change things? Some are suggesting leaving Santa some healthier snacks such as cottage cheese and diet juice instead of the traditional cookies and milk. Silly isn’t it? Hmm. A new slimmer Santa? Bah humbug! It would be awfully hard to call him “jolly old Saint Nick” if he were only 170 pounds, don’t you think? Leave the poor guy alone already!
December 24th, 2007 at 7:10 am
It’s not santa if the santa isn’t overweight. We love our fat santa. He brings joy to children, adult even the old. People don’t need a thin santa. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being fat or overweight. Fat people can also live health.