GorillaOffTopic, Everything But Gorilla Trades

Recently, the Gorilla read a story about how many employers are now checking out potential job candidates by checking their MySpace and Facebook accounts, before considering employing them. After giving this idea some thought, the Gorilla came to this conclusion: It’s a major invasion of privacy! Why not just put a web-cam in your employees’ homes so you can see each and every tiny detail of their private lives!

We all have our private lives, and what we do in them is #1, nobody’s business, and #2, not necessarily a reflection of whether or not a person is a good candidate for a job. Disagree? Well, you’re entitled to, however, many of you along with the Gorilla have had co-workers who were very professional on the job, but were wild partiers behind closed doors- or simply “after hours.”

There is a reason why it is called “happy hour” after all. Unless a potential employee is participating in some kind of illegal activity (a picture of a girl kissing another girl on Facebook is certainly NOT illegal!), then there should be absolutely no cause for voyeurism on an employer’s part and yes….it is considered voyeurism. The Gorilla simply does not see the justification for employers taking a look into people’s personal lives in such a way because most people have pictures of themselves on vacations, getting a little wild at a party or bar, or often times have pictures of their kids on these social networking sites.

Furthermore, you must be an “approved” friend in order to gain access to a person’s personal page and pictures on these sites. If the Gorilla was being interviewed, and an employer asked to see this personal information, he would be offended to say the least, and would refuse! Does this mean that people have something to “hide?” Absolutely not, but just because you have nothing to hide, does not mean you would allow just any individual a peek at your private life! That is a privilege reserved for those we deem close to us!

Perhaps after you have been hired and you have gotten to know your boss a bit better, it would be the appropriate time to allow him access, but at your own discretion and choice. Maybe you can tell your potential boss that very thing if you are asked. Otherwise, they should butt out!

Bad economic times don’t give breaks to those who are going through a divorce, so many couples are putting off getting divorce as a result. Putting off getting a divorce because the economy is bad? This is not just a rumor folks…this is a fact. Divorce attorney’s everywhere are claiming that many couples are simply too strapped to start divorce proceedings so they are putting their impending divorces on “hold” until it is economically more “feasible” for them.

Some couples actually in the middle of a divorce are even suspending proceedings until further notice. The Gorilla finds this interesting, but yet realistic at the same time. Unfortunately for many ex-spouses, those paying child support and alimony are headed back to their attorney’s offices in droves, to lower their financial obligations. The Gorilla’s friend- a successful divorce lawyer- says that this is very common right now, and he’s glad, because with less people getting divorced due to the tough economy, helping people to revise their support obligations is now his primary source of income.

Think about the irony of this situation folks. Most divorces are due to money problems! The Arnerican Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers polled its members this week and the numbers are interesting. Here’s what they found; 37% of the group’s 1,600 members said they saw a decrease in divorce cases during national economic downturns. Forty-four percent said they saw no change, and 19% said they saw an increase.

So does this mean that some marriages could be saved as a result of the delay? Well, that could be true in a few cases, but all in all, marriage counselors and divorce attorneys alike say that it is just delaying the inevitable. However, for those getting alimony and child support, there will be a certain sense of shock for them suddenly having to get used to a lower income from support! But hey, your ex can only do so much about it now that he/she is making a lot less money!

From the desk of the strange, bizarre, and just plain silly, comes a story that the Gorilla found both dumb and hilarious at the same time. It seems that some wacky people in Florida want the right to vote naked! That’s right folks, the Gorilla said NAKED.

Members of a Pasco County nudist colony called, Caliente Resorts, want officials to set up clothing optional voting booths for their benefit. The Caliente is the largest nudist colony in the U.S., with almost 350 residents who are registered voters, and they feel that they are being slighted by having to get dressed and drive to polls to vote. (Perish the thought!)

The residents want their own polling center set up for their use on Tuesday. But Brian Corley, Pasco County’s supervisor of elections isn’t considering the idea…at least not this time around. The election official said he does not plan to “even consider” opening additional polling places until after the scheduled 2010 redistricting. So does that mean that it would be a consideration at that time? Well, yes and no.

Jennifer Davis, a spokeswoman for the Florida Secretary of State’s Office, said a nude polling place would not violate any state laws, but that it would be up to the local election supervisor. (In this case Brian Corley.) One clever commissioner made a good point; If the nudists want to vote naked, why not send in an absentee ballot? But a spokesperson for the nudists claims that voting is a civic duty that the people at the colony take it very seriously just like any one else. They want to be able to express themselves the way they are accustomed to- in the nude!

Man, the Gorilla doesn’t know what the big deal is. If they want to vote nude, let them vote nude. The Gorilla has been voting in the nude (with only his fur, sans the suit he normally wears) for years. It seems that people are so shocked to see a Gorilla at the polls, they barely notice that he is naked! The point is, even if you vote in the nude, just please get out there and vote!

It’s Halloween, but do you know the origins of this creepy holiday? The Gorilla had only a slight idea until recently. The Gorilla remembers well being a child and finding out that some of his friends were not allowed to celebrate the fun and festive day because their parents were “too religious.” That’s the only answer the Gorilla remembers getting from those friends about the reasons their parents refused them this kid “rite of passage.”

The Gorilla never quite understood this mentality, but apparently many parents refuse to let their kids celebrate, let alone acknowledge Halloween, so the Gorilla decided to find the origins of Halloween. It turns out that it is in fact scary and gruesome, but mostly just superstitious. The tradition of Halloween dates back to the ancient Celtics and Europeans, who regarded the beginning of winter as being an uncertain and frightening time of year. Because of the cold weather food supplies often ran low and for those people who were afraid of the dark, the short days of winter brought constant worry and fear. They equated the time to a time of fear and starvation that quite often led to death.

On Halloween, when it was believed that ghosts came back to the earthly world, people thought that they would encounter ghosts if they left their homes. To avoid being recognized by these ghosts, people would wear masks when they left their homes after dark so that the ghosts would mistake them for fellow spirits. In addition, they would leave bowls of food outside their homes to keep the spirits from entering their homes. Pretty soon the time of year became a festival in which people would dress up in masks for the All Souls’ Day parades in England. During the festivities, poor citizens would beg for food and families would give them pastries called “soul cakes” in return for their promise to pray for the family’s dead relatives. The distribution of soul cakes was encouraged by the church as a way to replace the ancient practice of leaving food and wine for roaming spirits. The practice, which was referred to as “going a-souling” was eventually taken up by children, who would visit the houses in their neighborhood and be given ale, food, and money.

By the 800’s Christianity was widespread in Europe. Pope Boniface IV designated November 1 All Saints’ Day, a time to honor saints and martyrs. It is widely believed today that the Pope was attempting to replace the Celtic festival of the dead with a related, but church-sanctioned holiday. 

Okay, so maybe the whole “time of death” thing is scary, but Halloween is still supposed to be fun!  Yes, there are scary monsters out there in the world; death, tragedy, heartbreak, and fear. But this is the one day that kids can dress up as the things they either fear or fantasize about being, and is a fun and healthy way to pretend- even if just for a day. Why deny them that thrill? Let’s not get all weird about it parents. Happy Halloween to all!

Okay, okay, the Gorilla admits he can sometimes be a bit cynical, and to be fair, it’s really it’s hard not to be in a world as shallow and materialistic as this one. It seems that modern humans are jaded, guarded, and well yes, as cynical as the Gorilla at times. But if you know the Gorilla well, you know that this old hairy primate is really a big softy at heart, so let’s just get down to the thing in this world that makes us all tick: NO not money (you shallow people should be ashamed if that was the first thing that came to your mind!)

The Gorilla is referring to that old four letter word- love. Now the Gorilla doesn’t talk about this stuff much, but did you know at heart, the Gorilla is a die-hard romantic? It’s true. The Gorilla even met his wife in a chance meeting at a crowded restaurant from across the room. He spotted the lovely vixen and it was love at first sight. “But can it really be?” You ask. The answer is yes.

It is why a popular Craig’s List post is all the rage right now among those who believe (as the Gorilla does) in “love at first sight.” The “I saw you” ads are wildly popular and are helping people who just caught a passing glance of one another -say in the subway- to defy the odds of never seeing each other again and to re-connect. But it’s not just Craig’s List that offers to re-connect people. There are several web sites that offer to bring people back together after a chance meeting. They include Craigslist, Kizmeet.com, ISawYou.com, and SubwayCrush.com.

Well it is a cool notion, but upon pondering this idea further, the Gorilla wondered if forcing the “chance meeting” is really a good idea. The Gorilla thought about the downside. As cool a concept as it sounds to be in theory, would you really want to meet that guy or gal that stared you down in a subway or the local bar or restaurant one late Saturday evening? What if you place an ad on one of these sites, only to find that he or she turned out to be a freak! That could be bad. Or perhaps the person is just one more needy, insecure person that you have nothing in common with. That could be even weirder still! 

That once romantic notion of “kismet” could very easily turn into a “wish we never met” scenario. Can anyone say “stalker?” Okay, so yes, the cynic is back. But the Gorilla cannot help it. Why not leave meeting someone to good old fashioned fate? And if you truly felt a connection, let life do what it does best for us and work itself out. After all, if we are truly meant to see that individual again, fate will most certainly intervene- and isn’t that the very best “kismet” of all?

The State of Florida has certainly dealt with its storms in the past and the one plaguing the seat of the State Representative for Congress is certainly no exception. First, we dealt with Republican Congressman, Mark Foley’s indiscretions, when he was busted for sending emails to underage boys with whom he admitted to having “inappropriate relationships” with. Although Foley was never charged with any criminal activity, he was asked to step down, and like a good little public servant, he did so.  Now, the Democrat who replaced him is himself in some hot water. Like Foley, Congressman, Tim Mahoney is also now dealing with his private indiscretions publicly, and it makes you wonder what’s in the water down there in Florida. Tim Mahoney was elected and replaced Mark Foley in Florida two years ago and has done relatively well for Florida since that time- until now, that is!  In his original campaign for the seat, Mahoney vowed to “clean up Florida” after the sex scandal that “rocked the house” in 2006 with Mark Foley. But instead of “cleaning up,” Mahoney made his own mess, which perhaps may be worse than his predecessor’s! Mahoney, in case you are all wondering, has admitted to having “numerous” affairs, including one with a fellow government employee, who he allegedly fired after the affair ended.  She ended up threatening to reveal the affair so Mahoney paid her off with his “own personal funds.” Too bad the news got out anyway (what a waste!) You see originally, there was only (according to Mahoney) just this one affair. No big deal right? Wrong. Since then, Mahoney has come out and admitted to several other affairs. Now, Mahoney’s wife, who formerly vowed to “stand by” her husband initially, filed for divorce yesterday. She is also requesting a full disclosure about their marital funds in regard to a property Mahoney says he sold to pay off his former mistress. (Bummer!)  What a mess!  With all of this drama and obvious immorality, you would think Mahoney would have the decency to step down in shame as his predecessor did, but he is actually refusing to do so. Personally, the Gorilla thinks this is an outrage! While some, people say that his personal life should have “no bearing” on his public seat as a government official- the Gorilla strongly disagrees. Personally, people are sick and tired of the excuse that “all politicians have affairs.” This is not only untrue, but it is a ridiculous justification for people like Tim Mahoney to get away with such immoral behavior.  

If you want to know if a candidate is fit for office, what do you do? You look directly at their personal life. What you find there is the very best representation of the man or woman. Is that to say people don’t make mistakes? Of course not, but it is a generalization. If an individual conducts him/herself in a relatively decent manner in private, that is a very good indication that they will also conduct themselves well in public. Not always, but most of the time, there is great truth to that fact. Nancy Pelosi has called for a House ethics investigation into the allegations against Mahoney. The Gorilla is with Nancy on this one, but he welcomes your comments.

If you plan on writing a book about the mob, which chronicles all of its activities and dirty little secrets, than it might be a wise idea to go into hiding shortly after said book is published.  And that is just what author Roberto Saviano, 29 did. Ever since the release of his best selling book “Gomorra,” the Naples mafia has been threatening to kill him by Christmas. Hmmm. Imagine that; you write a book about the most violent organization in Italy, exposing many of its illegal activities and members, and they want you dead? You don’t say! But yes, it’s true.

The book, based on the “Camorra,” which is the name of the mob in Saviano’s hometown, has been so successful that it has been made into a hit movie about mafia brutality. Saviano has been in hiding for almost 2 years, ever since the Camorra found out about the success of his book and decided that he needed to be punished. The author has needed 24 hour police protection and bodyguards to protect him at all times. The book has sold 1.2 million in Italy and has been translated into 42 languages. Now that it has hit the big screen, it is up for an Oscar and that has mob bosses enraged.

After a tip from a mob insider, it has been determined that there is now a “hit” on Saviano. But Saviano says it is the readers of his book that are frightened of the Italian Mafia, and it is they who created the demand and the popularity of the book. The book explains the extreme brutality that goes on in the mob and how the “Camorra” has it’s” fingers in every pie” in Naples, including drug trafficking and even waste disposal. 

“It’s the readers who have frightened the crime bosses, not me,” said Saviano.  Well now that’s not very nice! Throw the people who bought your book right under the bus why don’t you? No, it is YOU, the author of a best selling expose tell-all that ticked off those guys, Mr. Saviano!  Listen, if the Gorilla knows one thing, it’s that you don’t mess with the mob! And you certainly don’t write a book about it if you do! No offense, but this isn’t the brightest guy around. But regardless, hopefully the guy will make it through this alive even if it his outlook is grim!

The world is in absolute chaos right now. The last thing this country needs is more violence, so why would anyone want to endorse more violence? And if that “anyone” happened to be YouTube, the world should have something to say about it.
 
YouTube, the world’s largest video sharing Web site, removed over 2 dozen violent-enriched clips from its site following a Times investigation into harmful and inappropriate material on YouTube. The Web site took down 30 film clips, which featured gangs and gang-related activity, and showed hooded youths brandishing a variety of weapons including machetes, hand guns, and even sub-machine guns.
 
Apparently Google is admitting that they were in breach of its own user guidelines, which had recently been revised to deal with gang videos. (Nice going Goog!) The Gorilla could understand if there were only one or two gang-related videos, but 30? Have the guys at Google been sleeping on the job? C’mon guys, get a clue!
 
TV journalist Peter Barron is Google’s head of communications in Britain, and he says that as a result of concerns about use of the Website by gangs, it has now introduced new guidelines prohibiting users from showing weapons in their videos in a way that appears to “threatening” to its viewers. (Don’t worry NRA members, this does not apply to you!) Currently, there are over 800,000 gang members in the U.S. alone and that number is growing rapidly. It’s a good thing that YouTube finally got a clue, but not before the gangs got past the approval department for such a long time first!

From the desk of the “extremely bizarre,” here’s a little light diversion from the misery of this horrible market! It seems that a woman claiming to be Elvis’s half-sister is also insisting that the “King” is indeed still alive. Shut up! Now, we all know that many, many, people have made this same preposterous claim throughout the years, but really lady, why should we believe you?

The Gorilla couldn’t help but chuckle when he read this ridiculous story. But still, read it he did- from start to finish- and of course he does not believe that Elvis is still alive- that would be just ridiculous! But hey, just in case there is some really solid evidence to prove otherwise, the Gorilla would not want to be left out of the loop. It is the “King” we’re talking about here!

The woman, whose real name is Alice Elizabeth Tiffin, recently changed her name to Eliza A. Presley and claims that Vernon Presley is her father. She also says that she has DNA evidence to prove the claim that Elvis- her alleged half brother- is still alive. She even provided an envelope that she claims was licked by “Jessie Presley” an assumed name now used by Elvis Presley. The envelope proves that the “King did not die in 1977″ according to the web site. Ms. “Presley” even successfully convinced a Memphis probate judge to reopen the estate of the late Vernon Presley, the King’s father. Eliza even claims to have additional DNA evidence to prove she is Elvis Presley’s half-sister.

Unfortunately for poor deranged Eliza, one day before the judge was to make his decision, Eliza’s mother came forward to say that she did not have an affair with Elvis’s father, Vernon Presley. Uh oh, busted! Oh, well. It’s not really all that shocking that yet another person claiming to “have proof” that the King is alive, was again disproved. After all, it’s not as if the Gorilla really believes that it could be possible that Elvis Presley, the awesome King of Rock-N-Roll and one of the coolest dudes ever to have lived, was really alive. But it sure would be fun to think about the possibility wouldn’t it?

From the desk of the very weird, the Gorilla offers you this bizarre story. It seems that the women of Washington State seem to fancy having their feet nibbled by carp fish during their pedicures. (From a big ape’s perspective, this is sort of creepy.) Apparently, the practice has been enormously popular in Asia and Turkey for centuries, but just recently caught on in the U.S.

As weird as it sounds, these tiny carp fish called Garra Rufa or Doctor Fish, are considered to be quite therapeutic, as they remove dead skin from the feet. Whoa! What some women will do for beauty. (But the Gorilla digresses.) Unfortunately for the women (and some men) of Seattle, the practice has been declared unsanitary and unsafe and has been banned from that state indefinitely because of the fact that the State Department of Licensing says state law requires that all implements in pedicures be sanitized, and there is really no way to make live fish sanitary. (No, really?)

Tough break for the carp-loving people of Washington! So where can one go to get a mini-fish pedicure these days, if not in Washington State? Well, you could always head to Washington D.C. where over 5,000 people have taken the fishy pedicure plunge at the Yvonne Hair and Nail Salon since March. In D.C., the carp pedicure practice is considered perfectly safe, sanitary, and legal! Hey, this gives the Gorilla a great idea! Surely if women love having their feet nibbled by fish, they would love having the bugs picked out of their hair too! After all, gorillas have been practicing this type of hygiene for centuries as well. (And it’s really no weirder than having your dead foot skin eaten by carp!)