GorillaOffTopic, Everything But Gorilla Trades

In a thriving economy, it is tough to resist the luxury of an expensive cup of java, but in a struggling economy, it’s one of the first things people give up. After all, it’s a discretionary item.  In a recent poll, a large percentage of adults reported that they will no longer be drinking Starbucks. Well that is certainly no surprise; after all, a latte is considered an expensive treat to most. Most of you know what a huge fan the Gorilla has been of Starbucks, but quite frankly, the news of the company’s plans to close over 600 stores, after a rapid-growth expansion, is not really all that surprising.  Walking down the streets of New York city one night, the Gorilla and his wife passed by a Starbucks, which was overflowing with patrons. Within a few seconds it was decided that a cup of coffee sounded just great, but instead of turning around and going back, there was another Starbucks within a few feet of the last one, on the very next corner! This went on and on for miles, from corner block to corner block.  Wasn’t it Starbuck’s original intention to have a location on every street corner in America? It was only two years ago that company executives bragged about how the company could have two outlets in one building. In the mall near the Gorilla’s home, there are actually three stores. The company has been so visible that it was never quite out of “reach,” so to speak. It seemed a little too good to be true that Starbucks stores were virtually everywhere- and a little too accessible. It seemed a little too indulgent, and we all got a little too spoiled- especially Starbucks itself.  So it’s time for the coffee giant to “cool it” for now, and it comes at the worst possible time, adding thousands of job losses to an already flailing economy. Many people have already made the switch from the expensive Starbucks concoctions to the less expensive Dunkin’ Donuts or McDonald’s coffees to save some money during these tough economic times. So, will those people come back to Starbucks once the economy gets better?  “When things were better, I think people preferred Starbucks. The environment is so much better than Dunkin’ Donuts,” Howard Davidowitz chairman of the national retail consulting firm Davidowitz & Associates Inc. said. “But right now,” he added, “what I see in the retail numbers consistently is that pricing has become a more important priority.”
Okay, okay, so yes, the Gorilla is of course biased, but he feels that Starbucks is, by far, the superior product as compared to the others. Besides, the Gorilla had a gourmet Cappuccino at McDonald’s the other day and guess what he found? At $3 and change, the coffee was almost as expensive as a Starbucks coffee and not nearly as good! Wasn’t McDonalds supposed to be the lower price alternative? Hmmm.

It is Monday. You are up and about getting ready for your usual commute to work. On your way out, you look in the mirror by the front door to check your appearance, as you always do. Tie is straight…check! Hair is neat…check! No food in the teeth…check! You are on time- no, you are early, in fact. You think to yourself, “This will be a good day.” Suddenly, just as you are opening your car door- BAM! A flash of light hits you out of nowhere. It happens to you every so often so you are no stranger to its sneakiness, and its brashness. It is a migraine-or at least the familiar beginnings of a migraine and you dread what you know will be the inevitable pain and misery that will surely abound within the hour.  For those of you who don’t know about them, a migraine is not just a bad headache, it is much worse, and unless you have personally experienced one, you cannot imagine just how badly they can hurt. They are painful. They are disruptive. They can sometimes be debilitating. But now, a new device is on the horizon that may just zap the pain away.  A recent study revealed that a device, which delivers a therapy known as transcranial magnetic stimulation, or TMS, may be just what the doctor ordered. This cool little device sparks a magnetic pulse, that when held against a person’s head, creates an electric current among nerve cells to the brain. In turn, the migraine is disrupted in the “aura” phase, which is experienced by many people at the beginning stages of a migraine and causes visual disturbances and tingling and numbness. A new study, which included over 200 patients, randomly selected some of the patients to use the TMS device and the others to use a “sham” product. Of those who used the TMS device, 39% of the TMS patients were pain-free two hours after treatment, versus 22% of patients using the sham device.  

Dr. Yousef Mohammad, of Ohio State University in Columbus, said “This is very significant. This is a much better response than is achieved with any other method or medication that we have.” If this incredible device becomes available, it means that the misery migraine sufferers have to endure may be soon be a thing of the past. So let’s rewind, shall we? With the TMS device in your pocket, you walk to your car feeling ready for the day, and when the migraine strikes, you whip out your little headache blocker and BAM! Within a short period of time, you are back to Monday morning in great shape and the day isn’t an entire loss. Well, isn’t technology and science a wonderful thing?

Time is THE most valuable commodity. Yes, it is of the essence- and in fact- it is the essence of a life of peacefulness, and low stress. That is if, in fact, you have some to kill. Most of us don’t, and that is why many people are “outsourcing” there lives so to speak. Ever wondered what it would be like to have some of your most tedious errands taken care of for you? Or maybe you have menial tasks, like making plane reservations, or even dinner reservations, but simply don’t have the time to do it. Nowadays you don’t have to be the CEO of a big company or a celebrity to have a personal assistant, no sir.  Today’s personal assistants can be found online in the form of a “virtual assistant” and are relatively affordable for anyone making at least $30,000 per year. The Gorilla heard about this concept and thought “how cool!” Now, you understand, the Gorilla doesn’t want to compare himself to a “celebrity,” but it sure would be nice to have someone at his beck and call, when he needed a little help with those tedious things, such as calling American Express to get that erroneous charge off of his account. You know how long they put you on hold for- right? Well, wouldn’t it be nice to have someone else perform this time-consuming little task for you, so that you could continue to be productive at your workplace?  There are a number of web sites that offer services just like these and much more. They do virtually everything you could imagine from ordering a birthday cake to sending out “thank you” notes on your behalf. Some even have messenger and courier services if a delivery is needed on very short notice. You’d think the prices on services such as these would be simply outrageous, but they are in fact, quite reasonable depending on the need, and which services you plan to use.  For example, one interesting site the Gorilla visited, AskSunday.com, charges about $29 per month for up to 15 “requests.” Another site, GetFriday.com, offers pay-as-you-go and monthly plans in increments of 10 or 15 minutes. The monthly plan starts at around $120 for 10 hours. Not bad, at all! Many working people can afford it-even in this wilted economy. The point is, most of these tasks take up our valuable time, which can make us less productive, and therefore cost us time- which is money. These virtual assistant services seem to counteract that fact, so the cost is completely relative to what you might lose if you had to perform all of these tasks yourself. And the critics agree.  

They say if you look at the type of people who use these sites, they are most likely not going to stop because of inflation. Demand for personal assistants, for businesses and personal reasons, is climbing. According to research firm Evalueserve, which estimated revenue from such sites last year at $250 million, they anticipated it would grow to $2 billion by 2015. Wow! It makes sense in a such a harried world to outsource some of your little day-to-day errands. The Gorilla is a big fan of the virtual assistant and loves the services they provide. (Not to mention- Mrs. Gorilla is currently his personal assistant…so she loves the idea as well!)  It sure gives a whole new meaning to “multi-tasking!”

Currently, there are between 10 and 16 million people in severe debt in the U.S. The economy is weak, the housing market has been beat up, and gas prices are outrageous. Companies are laying off employees left and right, and the financial stability many people once relied upon is fleeting. With mounting debt, comes mounting stress, and as we all know, higher stress levels can cause many health issues.  Doctors are reporting more and more cases of ulcers and psychologists are reporting more cases of anxiety than in recent years. The health issues commonly being reported are things like depression, heart attacks, and severe stomach problems. And according to an AOL index poll, debt related stress was up 14% in 2007. The poll, which was taken by those who reported high levels of debt, also revealed that 27% had ulcers or digestive track problems as compared to only 8% of those with low levels of debt stress. In addition, 44% had migraines or other headaches as compared to 4%. Twenty-three percent had severe depression compared with 4%, and the list goes on and on.  People report feeling “desperate” and not being able to sleep or concentrate. Medical research suggests that most of the symptoms are pretty typical of chronic stress. The body reacts with a “fight or flight” response, releasing adrenaline and the stress hormone, Cortisol (which is also responsible for belly fat). If the body stays in this state too long, it can wreak havoc on the immune system. So what is the answer for those who seem to have no way out?  Health experts offer their advice by suggesting the following steps to try and de-stress your life: First, consider debt consolidation; it is the number one way to reduce credit card debt and if applicable, is a good option for those who have mounting credit card debt. More and more people are using this option to slowly and surely get out of debt. Next, experts suggest having a friend to confide it, or a good social outlet, helps to alleviate some of the fear involved with being in debt or having financial troubles. Often just talking about it to someone can make you feel better. And lastly, find ways (preferably cheap or cost-free ways), to de-stress such as taking a walk, listening to music, or playing with your pet or kids.  

What most people need to be aware of, is the fact that there really is no “quick fix.” Since the economy, housing, and job markets didn’t tank overnight, it can’ t be fixed overnight. Yes, it will take time for this economy to recover, and recover it eventually will. But in the meantime, hang in there everyone!

Like many of you, the Gorilla is an avid horse lover, so when he heard the disturbing statistics about them, he was shocked and saddened. Over 100,000 horses were cruelly slaughtered in the U.S. last year. You may assume that these are old or lame horses that have no use any longer, but your assumption would be wrong…dead wrong!  Over 91% of the horses sent to the slaughterhouses each year are perfectly fine, young, healthy horses and many of them- disturbingly- are foals from the PMU or Premarin drug farms. Premarin is a women’s menopause drug, which is made from the urine of pregnant mares. Once the mares give birth, many of these foals are sent to slaughter, without ever having a chance at life. In addition, many of the horses slaughtered are retired race horses, who are by no means lame or old.   And the slaughter is the cruelest, most painful and terrifyingly scary death, one could ever imagine. Horsemeat cannot be sold for human consumption until the horse is bled-out (many are still alive during the process), so without going into the gruesome details, use your imagination. And to make it even worse, each horse must watch the horses before it be killed in this way. Once slaughtered, the meat is then sold to European countries and other countries, often times, for human consumption. It is a cruel and unnecessary evil that many states in the U.S. have outlawed, but in too many other states in the U.S., it is still perfectly legal.  Currently, a bill is pending that may outlaw altogether the slaughter of horses. The American Horse Slaughter Prevention Act bans the slaughter of horses in the United States and causes it to be illegal to transport horses to other countries for purposes of slaughter. So how does the largest slaughterhouse in the U.S.- Bel-tex- in Fort Worth, Texas handling the proposed bill? Well, as you can imagine, not well. The company, whose grisly slogans include, ”Eat and Drink American” and “The Best Color for a Horse is Fat,” is fighting the bill. Texas happens to be the “horse- kill” capitol of the United States with both of the largest slaughter plants located there, including Dallas Crown in Kauffman, and Bel-Tex in Ft Worth.  Many people aren’t aware of exactly just what goes on in the big money (blood money) industry of these U.S. slaughterhouses, and it is about time it is put to a stop once and for all. And don’t be fooled by the “over-population” myth that has had a lot of press and hype- mostly from the slaughterhouse industry- in order to create justification and need. It is simply not factual. There is simply no overpopulation of horses in this country and any horse that needs to be euthanized due to age, behavior, or illness, deserves to be done so humanly, responsibly, and gently. There is still an industry for horse carcasses. The remains are used for various reasons and do not need to be consumed by humans.  

Fortunately for the horses, they have us as their advocates. Don’t let them down. You can help by writing letters, sending faxes, and/or make phone calls to your Congressional representatives. In the meantime, there are fortunately, many horse rescues out there that are saving these beautiful and useful creatures from a horrible, unnecessary death. That is precisely where the Gorilla obtained his horse; a perfectly healthy 3 year-old male buckskin named “Cody.” There are hundreds of horses that you can adopt or you can even ”sponsor” one so that it may continue to stay out of the slaughterhouses. You do not have to buy one necessarily in order to help.  Horses are the stuff great Western movies are made of, and slaughtering them so cruelly, should never be allowed. After all, Mr. Ed would certainly have something to say about that one, now wouldn’t he?

Since air travel and car travel cost a small fortune these days, many people are hanging up their travel plans and staying home this summer, sacrificing family trips, business trips, and more. The price of gasoline is just too much, so what is the option? Are there options? Well, yes there are.  It seems that more and more people are choosing to travel by bus, and it is turning out to be one of the cheapest options in travel. Companies, such as Greyhound, offer lower fares and the new, Megabus, beats all of the competition; it offers rates as low as $48 round trip from Detroit to Chicago and $67 round trip from Las Vegas to Los Angeles! Statistics show that there has been a 13% jump in bus service recently. This is the largest jump in decades, and experts believe it is most assuredly due to the current high fuel costs.  Yes, folks, with mounting fuel costs and congested airports, people are choosing bus travel causing a large, much needed spike in sales for the once lagging industry. A recent study by DePaul University’s Chaddick Institute of Metropolitan Development found American cities lost about 60% of their scheduled intercity bus service between 1980 and 2005. However, the study also found that bus service started rebounding when Mega-bus started its service in the city. It all makes perfect sense since, compared to other forms of transportation, buses have the best ratio of passenger to mile per gallon of fuel (148 passenger miles per gallon). That’s a whopping four times greater than air or car travel.  So why not try the “big dog,” Greyhound? The transportation giant has a fleet of 1500 buses, offering service to over 1700 destinations and although it has always offered longer route destinations, lately it is more concentrated on short routes, from city to city. For instance, let’s say you want to travel from Los Angeles to San Francisco. By air, on Virgin America, it would cost you $241, but for that same trip on Greyhound, it only costs $88. In addition, Greyhound now offers its East Coast subsidiary, Boltbus, which launched in March, and offers routes from Boston to New York, Philadelphia to D.C,. and more. The company has already serviced 56,000 passengers in the short time it has been available for service, further proving that people want to save money on travel.  Although bus travel in a great alternative to flying or driving, it’s not the only alternative. Limo-type super transporters are fancier, higher priced (albeit still lower than flying by far) “limo” style transports that only seat about 28 passengers and offer things like video entertainment, high-speed Internet access, clear cellular phone reception, meeting tables, reclining seats, drinks and snacks, and an onboard attendant to boot. Limoliner is the name of the company, and it is the very first on-ground transportation company that caters specifically to the business traveler. These “limo” style vehicles only go limited distances, but they are a much more comfortable alternative to the bus. Currently, Limoliner offers service from Boston to New York, but other companies are sure to follow suit in other cities soon. And last, but certainly not least, there’s always Amtrak. Although, the price is not as cheap as bus travel ( it’s $138 for a three hour trip vs. $48 for Megabus), it is still a good alternative to driving. Keep in mind though, that Amtrak is infamous for its late arrivals (the only downside).

Overall, it is nice to know that yes, in fact, there are alternatives to the now very expensive costs of traveling by air or auto. So don’t cancel your summer plans just yet… get on the bus people! The Gorilla is a big fan of the new age of bus travel and although he hasn’t done a bus trip since college, he may consider one in the future. The only problem is, people aren’t very receiving of one big hairy Gorilla getting on their bus and taking up two seats. It tends to make people a little uneasy.

Taxpayers this year were primed and ready for their tax stimulus checks to arrive in the mail. The President’s plan to inject a little life into the economy sounded like a great one. The rebates, are the centerpiece of the government’s $168 billion plan to revive the unstable economy, providing up to $600 for individuals, and up to $1200 for married couples. And some will receive $300 for eligible children under age 17. It is a good plan. After all, who wouldn’t love a little extra money, especially at a time when the economy feels strikingly similar to the 1990’s? With all of the doom and gloom in the air, gas prices being outrageous, and food prices that are ridiculous, some people are literally desperate for some extra cash.  The IRS has already refunded about $27 billion to about 30 million tax-payers. It still expects to pay out another $130 million by the end of June, with the last checks going out around July. But now, thousands of people are saying that the IRS messed up big time, making mistakes with peoples’ checks. The mistakes were not minor, and caused many people to have to contact the IRS to have new checks sent out to them. Many people said they received a check addressed to them, but when they opened it, it was made out to someone else! Other people complained of just the opposite problem; the check was mailed to someone other than themselves, making it likely that some dishonest person may have cashed a check not made out to them. Others simply said they never received a check at all, even though they received a letter stating the check was enclosed with it.  In addition, it is reported that over 350,000 households are not receiving their child refunds of $300 per child owed to them. So what really happened? Why is the IRS making these costly and inconvenient mistakes? The tax agency claims that it is simply human error and computer glitches that are to blame for the mistakes, affecting the small percentage of the over 130 million taxpayers in the U.S.  IRS spokesman Terry Lemons said the agency was “confident it had identified all of the people affected by the mistake.” He said the IRS will send letters to those who missed out on the refund, and that checks for the child credit will be mailed out in July. Well, what can you do? You cannot exactly argue with the IRS, and any excuse they give, as lame as it is, will have to do since we have no other choice but to accept it.  But in the Gorilla’s humble opinion, the IRS should be held to a much higher standard since that is exactly what they expect of you, the taxpayer. It seems wrong that if the shoe were on the other foot and YOU made a similar mistake, your excuse-no matter how great, would simply be unacceptable. Then again, you are entitled to extensions, but then you must pay a penalty. So this begs the question…shouldn’t the IRS have to pay some sort of “penalty” to those taxpayers with whom they made mistakes? After all, they too are essentially being given and “extension” of sorts! Hey a guy can dream, can’t he?

Gorillas get awfully hungry, and when they get hungry they sometimes order pizza. There is nothing like hot, cheesy pizzas to make a guy (or gorilla) feel all warm and cozy on a nice evening at home. Like many of you, when the Gorilla decides to order a pizza, he usually chooses Papa Johns. Something about the freshness of that hearty sauce and the melt in your mouth taste of their homemade crust just sets the night right!  Apparently, many of you feel the same as the Gorilla, with Americans all over the United States having ordered a ton of the delicious stuff last year, proving that Papa is capable of rolling out the dough and raking it in as well. Unbelievably, a huge part of the success in the Louisville-based company is in its online ordering. In the last 7 years, the pizza giant has made over $1 billion (yes, that’s a “b”) in online orders alone.  Papa John is now the 3rd largest pizza chain in the U.S., and online sales have been growing at an average of more than 50% per year. In 2001, the chain’s online sales totaled $20.4 million. Last year, its online sales were around $400 million. Mama Mia! Amazingly, when you walk into a Papa John’s location, the phones seem unusually quiet. That is because the orders are coming in like crazy over the Internet!  Jim Ensign, vice president of marketing communications at Papa John’s, says that it took over 7 years to hit the billion dollar mark, but he says that at the current rate, it will only take another 3 years to double that number. That is simply incredible! But the big papa isn’t the only pizza chain to jump into the online ordering craze.  Pizza Hut says that online sales have increased six-fold, and Dominos’ new “Pizza Tracker” tracking system has given the company a “big bump” in sales, says Jenny Fouracre, a spokeswoman for Ann Arbor, Mich.-based Domino’s. Both of these companies also have a text-based ordering system in place for customer orders as well.  Papa Johns says that more than 20% of its business now comes from online and text ordering, and since it was put in place in 2001, the company says it has invested over $15 million in online ordering technology.  The company says that in the future, it will offer even more ways to make ordering easy and convenient for its customers. Now, folks, if you are online as much as the Gorilla, doesn’t it make sense? This is a fantastic concept that has proven to be highly successful, and surprisingly, in a  type of business you would never expect to thrive from online ordering. Keep up the work Big Papa!

Have you ever  taken for granted that your business and/or valuable files are safe? How often are you backing up your computer files? If not, then when you read this story, you may want to take the appropriate measures. The Gorilla sure has! You see, a Jacksonville Florida woman, Marie Lupa Cooley, saw a “help wanted” ad that fit the description of her job position, with the phone number of her boss so she thought she was being replaced. On the assumption that she was about to be fired, Marie did the worst possible thing to get revenge; police say she went to the architectural firm where she worked on Sunday night, and erased 7 years’ worth of drawings and blueprints, estimated to be worth $2.5 million. Apparently, she felt that sabotaging her entire office and all it was worth, was the best revenge; after all, she was getting fired-right? 

Well, wrong, actually. It turns out, the ad was for the company owned by her boss’ wife, which shared the same phone number, and the position was the same as hers, but again-for her boss’ wife’s company. So not only did she end up losing her job, but she got arrested in addition! All of this damage was done based on a false assumption this employee made, and it almost ruined Stephen Hutchens’ architectural business.  

Hutchen’s told one TV station he’d managed to recover all the files using an expensive data-recovery service. Thank goodness it wasn’t a total loss- just a big scare and major inconvenience. This story made the Gorilla think because after all, it makes you realize just how vulnerable your business can be! Almost everyone who owns a business has their files stored on computers, so unless you back everything up on a regular basis, this could happen to you!

Computer-related crimes, or “cyber-crimes” as they are more commonly referred to, are on the rise today with cyber security being a bigger concern than it has ever been before! If it’s not hackers trying to break in and steal vital information, it’s situations such as this news story, that are becoming more and more prevalent. The moral of the story here folks is that when it comes to your vital cyber information, have an excellent security system to prevent hackers and thieves from getting in, and make sure in case a crazy employee tries to take revenge on you, that you have a “backup” in place. You can never be too careful with your business!

How many people do you know that own, and rely on, that handy little device we call the “BlackBerry?” If you are like the Gorilla, you probably know plenty of them. Many people consider this clever device their lifeblood and simply can’t live without it. Well, BlackBerry users everywhere experienced a bit of a ”Blackout” yesterday, as service was down for a couple of hours. RIM’S network has about 12 million subscribers and you know as well as the Gorilla, a couple of hours in a blackberry user’s life seems like much longer to them than to the rest of the world! There were probably some really ticked off subscribers!

The disruption affected most email capabilities and some Internet capabilities to many BlackBerry users. Research in Motion said in a statement yesterday, that subscribers “may be unable to send or receive messages” and may also be unable to “register their device, roam in another location, or use other services such as Internet browsing.” The company also said that voice and SMS services were not affected.

Okay, so it wasn’t a total loss for the two hours! The service disruption started at 3:10 PM ET, and was caused by a downed server, affecting subscribers in North America. It wasn’t the first time this has happened with the BlackBerry service and perhaps it won’t be the last. (A scary thought to you BlackBerry users!) The same kind of server problem occurred in April and September of 2007. Ouch! Hey, the Gorilla has a question;  ”Is two hours long enough to start having ‘BlackBerry’ withdrawals?”