When you hear the phrase “Love Thy Neighbor,” what comes to mind for you? For the Gorilla, the phrase instantly calls to mind the idea of being kind to one another, and being friendly and courteous to those with whom you share the community around you. But unfortunately, it also invokes feelings of extreme sarcasm when thinking about how difficult it is in reality to even like the neighbor, let alone love them.
We have all heard stories about horrible neighbors, but when you experience them personally, it can turn your everyday dream of serenity into the “Nightmare On Elm street.” The Gorilla has personally experienced a lot of un-neighborly love in his lifetime, but the lengths people sometimes go to assert their “power” over their neighbor is just shameful. The Gorilla recently heard a story about an older couple who was being harassed by a new neighbor over the size of the couple’s hedge. Apparently the new neighbors didn’t like the height or look of the hedge so they took it upon themselves to cut the entire hedge when the couple wasn’t home- even though the hedge wasn’t on their property or part of it, and wasn’t in violation of any codes.
Now, what would possess people to act in such a way? The older couple did nothing to provoke the new residents, so what gives? Eventually the couple had to call the police and the neighbors were reprimanded and warned to cease and desist in their behavior. You would think that would be the end of it, but think again! Unbelievably, the rotten neighbors cut the hedge again and again until the harassment escalated and became verbal, and even physical! At this point, an attorney was called in and the case will now go to civil court. This is a picnic compared to what some neighbors have to contend with.
When researching this story, the Gorilla found pages upon pages of stories from the mundane and silly (such as this one) to the sick and cruel undertakings of certain neighbors. Some were harassed because of simply parking on one’s grass, while others were accused of doing the harassing by killing their neighbors animals for defecating on their lawns. (Shockingly, this is actually very common.) There were stories about too much noise, disorderly conduct (one man kept getting drunk and urinating on the neighbors house), and messy yards. There were endless tales about people moving fences and throwing rocks at windows out of revenge. The scope of the harassment from neighbor to neighbor was endless, and although most documented cases happen in low income neighborhoods, middle and wealthy income neighborhoods are certainly not immune- and in some cases the conduct was just as raunchy.
So what does one do in this situation? Some people say that doing a lot of research on the neighborhood and neighbors themselves prior to buying a home, can be your greatest insurance. Most states, have a disclosure law, requiring a seller to reveal any nuisance that could affect a sale. This is great for people who are thinking about buying a home (and that’s hoping the seller is honest), but what if the nightmare neighbors move in after you are already there? Do you just ignore them, hoping it will resolve on it’s own? No way!
San Diego code representative Fred Zuckerman told NBC news, ”if you give up on a problem, I usually find the problem gets worse.” He started the web site, RottenNeighbor.com which is a forum where people post their own personal stories about bad neighbors. He says he started it in response to his own rotten-smelling neighbor. The site boasts over 1 million hits per day (are there a lot of ticked off people out there or what?). The site is a popular tool to help potential neighbors beware, but critics say the site allows anyone to post anything and seems more like a gossip site than a helpful tool. The fact of the matter is, people can be just awful and it is truly shocking what some nasty people will do to those who live right next door.
It calls to mind the Mongoose. He is infamous for being the most courteous of animals to those strangers who are passing through, but beware the mongoose neighbor; he will rip your house apart and urinate in your bed! But, rest assured folks! For all those nasty neighbors out there, there are also extremely kind and generous neighbors as well, who will help you with your kids, your animals, your yard, and your home as well. These people truly care about you- as they do themselves. Love Thy Neighbor? Here’s the good news for those who find this teaching difficult: Nowhere does it say we have to like our neighbor!