The Gorilla recently saw the movie “Step Brothers” with Will Farrell and as hilarious as some found it, it highlighted an interesting theme: Parents who are enablers, where their children are concerned. In the movie, Will Farrell is a 40 year-old man, who still lives at home with his mother, who meets and marries a man, who also has an almost 40 year-old son living at home as well. The two sons must now live in one home together with their parents; thus the name “Step Brothers.” A funny movie to be sure, but the theme, as exaggerated as it was, brought to mind the issue of parenting and the way people so often over-indulge their children. Now you may well know by now that good parenting- or rather lack thereof - is one of the Gorilla’s pet peeves. (He has many of course.) But when parents let their kids take over and rule the roost, they are NOT doing their kids any favors…in fact, psychologists agree that these parents are doing the exact opposite; they are making it harder for their kids to thrive on their own in this world. Letting your kids mooch off of you well into adulthood is one good example, and here’s another: when the Gorilla was in the airport recently, he observed a mother with her child. The girl must have been around 12 years-old. Interestingly, the child (who was disguised as an adult) was wearing a very similar outfit to her mother. This included an expensive (adult looking ) handbag made of high quality leather, she had on what looked to be very expensive shoes, she had a piece of Louis Vuitton luggage, and was texting from an expensive Blackberry. Now don’t get me wrong here folks, the Gorilla is a somewhat successful guy in his own rite, and he can afford to get his kids many nice things, but that doesn’t mean he will! Really, does a girl of 12 need to have all of the same things as the mother who bore her in hard labor and has lived a lifetime and has (most likely) earned it? What has a girl of 12 done in her life to earn such expensive things? Yes, yes, it is a very different world now, and kids have everything and want everything, but surely there are compromises that can be made. Even for the very wealthy. The Gorilla’s neighbors also “over-indulge” their kids, buying them simply everything and anything they ask for from Jet Skis to four-wheelers, and even their own expensive boats (the kids are teenagers). Geez! When the Gorilla was a young chimp, he was simply thrilled to use his dad’s old beat-up boat on occasion. That was something special to the Gorilla and he felt so grateful for it! And remember the days that ice cream cone cost $0.25, and if you wanted one, you had to do some chores to get it. Nowadays, kids want a Mercedes for their first car and many times they get one. And this doesn’t always apply to just the wealthy any longer. More and more parents are trying too hard to indulge their kids’ desires and it begs the question: why? It’s not only material interests and desires (although that’s the most obvious manifestation), but it’s the general way in which many parents answer to their kids instead of getting their kids to answer to them –with respect and a slight amount of healthy fear. Instead, it seems as if the parents almost fear their own children and show it by never saying “no!” Studies have shown that kids who were over-indulged during the course of childhood often have a hard time “launching” into mainstream society (thus the term and movie, ”failure to launch”). Besides that, if you give kids too many material things, they quickly have little or no appreciation for much in life- thus making it hard for them to be happy. It’s common sense that if they are getting everything they want, kids (and people in general) tend to have nothing to look forward to or nothing to work towards and no goals. The solution: Make it tough on them. Children must have goals. Simply giving them what they want when they want it sends a message that life is easy and that nothing has to be achieved in order for a reward to be given. Let your kids earn the things they ask for over time. Let them experience delayed gratification by making them wait for it, and oh…here’s an idea! How about telling them “no” to certain things they want, just for the sake of saying “no?” In reality, you just don’t get what you want many times in life and your kids need to learn to deal with it! So no, this Gorilla won’t be buying his kids the most expensive things in life, no sir. Instead, he will be giving them the best thing money cannot buy; a sense of self-worth, self respect, and the feeling of satisfaction one can only get from simply knowing how it feels to earn something in life! As for those other parents…well they have one spoiled rotten daughter already. Her name is Paris. Really people, does the world need a whole bunch of her running around? Ughh!