GorillaOffTopic, Everything But Gorilla Trades

 It is no secret that the Gorilla is a big fan of fitness and staying healthy and in shape. It’s certainly a lifestyle, and he believes that a healthy body equals a healthy and happy mind. No one person exemplifies this way of life better than the happy-go-lucky health guru- Richard Simmons. Just when you thought you had heard enough of his seemingly slap-happy banter, he’s back! And this time he’s bending the ears of Congress!  The 60-year-old spoke to Congress in a passionate speech Thursday morning, pleading with them to keep physical fitness in schools and even improve upon current programs. “What have we done to the kids of the United States of America? This is wrong. …I just may run for office to help really get this through.” Simmons said. Richard Simmons in a political position? Please Congress, do something soon!  The Gorilla can just picture Richard Simmons leading those old geezers in Congress in a pre-session cardio warm up! But seriously, the Gorilla believes Mr. Simmons is absolutely justified in his fervency, but with the current state of the economy and school districts’ already waning budgets, how can America afford to keep schools’ phys-ed programs, let alone improve upon them?  Simmon’s speech comes just before some proposed budget cuts for schools will be taking place in Congress. One of those programs proposed to have cuts is physical fitness. Simmons spoke at length on Fox and Friends today about how too much fast food and too little or no exercise has contributed to the obesity epidemic in our country.  He went on to speak about how he was the ”fat kid” in school when he was younger. When he graduated from high school in New Orleans, he weighed a whopping 273 pounds. It was at that point that he adopted a healthy lifestyle of moderate eating and lost the weight. In 1973, he moved to San Diego and became a Hollywood success story. Now, tackling Congress about the physical education program in America’s schools may be the biggest challenge he’s had thus far. “I think if kids move, they learn better because the blood is flowing and they’re happier,” Simmons said on FOX & Friends. “Our kids need to exercise everyday in every school.”

Time and time again, each school year seems to bring more drama to the classroom. And no, not the kind that is required in theater class. The Gorilla is talking about the drama that plays out between teachers and students. It never ceases to amaze the Gorilla how irresponsible teachers have become over the last decade, with teachers having affairs with students (and sometimes even babies with them) and physical confrontations, as well as verbal confrontations.  It seems that teachers don’t realize that they are the adults and are required to follow a certain protocol of behavior. Yes, we know: Students don’t act the way they should either. And we know that, in many cases, teachers have been pushed to their limits and have no recourse in gaining control over some students’ outrageous behavior.  It is also widely known that, in some cases, teachers must fear for their lives since they never know what a student will do. So, what has happened? Where did the breakdown occur, and how can we rectify the situation? Can it even be rectified?  The Gorilla has mentioned this issue several times in his blogs simply because he himself has had to deal with certain inappropriate situations from his kids’ teachers. Today, a student is suing her teacher for calling her “ugly” and “a brat,” and on top of that, the teacher physically assaulted the student by giving her a good swift kick in the buttocks, before ordering her to leave the class!  According to the 14-year-old student, she only asked to participate in a singing telegram that was taking place for Valentine’s Day and the teacher became angry. Granted the girl may well have been a “brat,” but does that give a teacher the right to lose her cool? Should a teacher be allowed to do that? Or is she justified in her actions? The Gorilla thinks not. Definitely not.  Teachers have been getting away with saying (and doing) inappropriate things to students for years now and something just has to give. The Gorilla recalls one instance in particular in which the teacher revealed private things about one of his children to the entire class, humiliating her in front of all of her peers. There are a dozen more examples that are equally shocking, but that is just a sample. The teacher was reprimanded and put on probation for her actions, but that is only because a parent actually spoke up.  In the Gorilla’s humble opinion, this behavior must stop. Now look, the Gorilla knows how tough teachers have it. Make no mistake, they work very hard for so little pay and must put up with society’s brattiest and most out of control delinquents. The Gorilla sympathizes. But, even if a young student is acting belligerent or even threatening the teacher, the teacher must still always maintain a certain level of composure.  The Gorilla is, quite frankly, sick of these ridiculous stories about confrontations between teachers and students. Back in the day, you simply gave the kid a pink slip and outta there he/she went immediately. No questions, no confrontation, and no problem. And the kid got to sit in the principal or dean’s office and then off to detention the next day. If it happened again, 2 days of detention, and then 3 strikes and you were out- quite literally, as you were expelled for a period of several days.  So where is the support system for teachers nowadays? Teachers should never be put in situations that are too much for any human to handle. The Gorilla urges you to get involved with your children’s PTO and make suggestions regarding discipline that can be helpful in benefiting both teachers and students. Maybe if more parents spoke up, we could change things back to the way they were 20 years ago! Hey, a Gorilla can dream, can’t he?

When a loved one dies, it is beyond painful. Understandably, people sometimes go to great lengths to preserve the memory of those they loved, and surely everyone who has suffered such a loss sympathizes with this ideology. But can people sometimes go a little too far with it?  Well, that’s up to you to decide, but when the Gorilla heard about this weird phenomenon, he got a bit creeped out. Why? Well because one company is capitalizing on death and bereavement by offering to turn your loved one’s remains into jewelry- specifically a precious diamond. Sure, why not wear your lovely Aunt Theresa right around your neck after she passes? If that’s not a tribute to those you love, what is?  The company, called LifeGem, uses the motto: “Like the memory of a loved one, a diamond lasts forever” and specializes in a patented process of creating diamonds (almost exactly like the real things) made of the carbon remains of your cremated loved one or from the carbon in the hair from your deceased loved one. Creepy? Again, that is for you to decide, but then again, to each his own.  The process is a painstaking one that involves a heating procedure, which heats the carbon in sealed containers called “crucibles” to over 3000 degrees. The idea is to replicate the earth’s natural process of converting carbon to graphite to create a pure diamond. Interesting? Well, yes, extremely, and no, this is not exactly a new concept either.  General Electric first had the patent on this process back in the 1950’s. But present day technology has brought this unique idea to the forefront and has made it a reality for those who wish to keep the memory of their loved one alive forever. It’s really not all that strange if you consider that many cultures in the history of civilization have performed similar bizarre acts when those they loved died.  The Ancient Egyptians, for example, buried their deceased with all of their expensive worldly possessions in a mummification process that was meant to ensure entry into the next life. The ancient Chinese (and modern day as well) believe that you should have a public mourning for a period of 49 days and during different days carry out specific rituals at the grave site, such as burning money and incense. They are also very careful about where they bury their dead and which way the deceased will face in some cases.  Some Native American Indians believe that if you die in your home, your spirit remains there, so many choose to die in hospitals instead. Some also believe that if you lost a limb in life that it must be preserved and replaced after the person has passed in order to be buried whole. Yes, folks it is the Western Civilizations that are considered to be the “abnormal” ones when it comes to their views and perceptions about death.  

So, is it really all that odd to want your Mother’s remains preserved in a beautiful diamond to wear close to your heart? Perhaps not, but the Gorilla isn’t expecting any of his loved ones to go to such extremes. Just bury him in a cool place, with a banana in his hand, and he will be just fine!

It’s happened to all of us. The dreaded cell phone call we needed to make, but didn’t want to. You know what the Gorilla is referring to. That call to your boss to tell him you didn’t make the deadline or that call to your girlfriend to tell her “it’s over.” Or how about the call to that “Chatty Kathy” you work with that has you praying for her voicemail every time you dial her?  Yes, we have all had moments where we just wanted to skip the actual conversation and just leave a message and now a new service called Slydial lets you do just that. The concept of the service is not necessarily a new one. However, unlike similar services that are limited to only others in your network, Slydial actually lets you do this with anyone at anytime in the U.S., and not just another person in your network.  Slydial is simple and easy: Users simply call 267-SlyDial and listen to a short advertisement (or you can pay 15 cents per call to skip this step) and the call is then directed straight to the person’s voicemail. And voila! The awkwardness is avoided altogether (or at least delayed). Recipients still get a notification of a voicemail or in some cases even a missed call. Gavin Macomber, Co-Founder of MobileSphere Ltd., the company behind SlyDial, says that “everybody has gone through the scenario where they’ve called somebody and just hoped they got voicemail so they didn’t have to have a conversation.”  He, like so many of us, believes that SlyDial can come in handy in the business world as well as in our personal lives, and the Gorilla agrees. Not only are conversations sometimes too time-consuming, but yes, they can be terribly awkward as well. But let’s not get too comfortable with this concept folks…after all, it’s not completely foolproof, as sometimes a half ring may actually occur, alerting the receiver that you just called! They may call you back right away, without ever listening to the voicemail you left. Oops! Backfire. God forbid you have to talk with them!   

As convenient as it may be to simply “avoid” actually conversing with others, let’s just be honest here– this behavior sounds remarkably like “cowardice” in a lot of ways! Call it what you will, but it’s an interesting service.

Have you ever wondered if you can get better health information on the Internet than you can from your own physician? Many people rely on the Internet to attempt to diagnose problems that they are having prior to seeing a doctor, and surprisingly, many doctors actually condone this practice. Why? Because some doctors believe that with the limited time they have with patients now, it is tedious to have to sit and go over symptoms, and it is simply too time consuming. They believe that if a patient comes in prepared, after having done their own research online, the patient is more aware of what is ailing them.  Doctors can then get right to making a diagnosis based upon the information about the exact symptoms that the patient is experiencing. Of course there are many doctors who believe just the opposite is true. These physicians believe that often times when people do their own research to try and “self diagnose” they can actually make it more difficult on the doctors who are treating them, by complicating the matter.  But what do you think? The Gorilla knows that if something is ailing him, he can do his own “pre-diagnosis” to narrow it down. That way, you have a precise idea of what is wrong with you prior to seeing the doctor, and you can even make suggestions of what you think it could be based on your online diagnosis. The Internet is a great tool to research medical problems and one woman in the UK found out exactly how good it really is when she used it to diagnose her daughter’s illness when doctors could not find one.  For 6 months, the 16-year-old girl suffered with severe headaches and fatigue. When doctors could not find a diagnosis, the girl’s mother turned to the Internet and found a disease with all of the symptoms her daughter was suffering from- Lymes disease. And when she told the doctor to run the test, they found that it was, in fact, Lymes disease. Without this important information, the girl could have died. Thank God this mother did her “homework!!  So do you think you could do the same thing? Sure you could!  There are several websites dedicated to helping patients pinpoint certain illnesses based upon their symptoms and they can be extremely helpful when patients are faced with a medical problem. WebMD and Healthline, for instance, are sites that let you target the exact area of the body based on whether you are male or female, and along with its “symptom checker,”, helps you narrow down your symptoms. It then gives you all of the possible illnesses based on those symptoms. The result is an idea or several ideas of the direction in which you want your doctor to go. These sites may also be helpful in making you aware of certain treatment options that your doctor may have overlooked or failed to mention. Many patients look to the Internet for alternative treatments to illnesses, such as cancer, diabetes, and heart problems. Certain search engines can also give patients access to treatment centers and their locations. And don’t think patients are the only ones using the Internet to help research and diagnose medical conditions; physicians often rely on the power of the Internet to help them find valuable information and resources as well.  So should you be doing your own “self-diagnosis,” as well using the Internet? Well, that is entirely up to you, but doctors warn that too much “self-diagnosis” can be dangerous and they say that no matter what the concern is, you should always seek help from a medical professional even if you think you know what is wrong. Yes, online medical help cannot replace actual tests and getting professional help and treatments, but it certainly can be helpful, and that is the whole point of the Internet!

When thinking of whom our modern day heroes might be, one image instantly comes to mind for the Gorilla: Nelson Mandela. He is a hero amongst heroes, and he spent 27 years in an African prison to earn that title- although that was certainly not his plight. His plight was to end apartheid in his native South Africa, and when he stood up for the cause, he was thrown mercilessly in jail for it. “I was not born with the hunger to be free. I was born free” Mandela said in his autobiography. And he never swayed from that belief or backed down to anyone at anytime.  Eventually the reign of white supremacy in South Africa ended and Mandela was finally released from prison and the world watched the jubilant celebration of millions of South Africans, who had been liberated at last. Nelson Mandela celebrated his 90th birthday today and many dignitaries from around the world were there to join in the celebration of the man, the hero, and the icon. But the legend isn’t only known for his anti-apartheid campaign, which continued when he was released from prison in 199,0 when he led negotiations that ended decades of racist white rule. He is also a staunch advocate for AIDS awareness, literacy, and fights against poverty. In fact, even at his 90th birthday party, he was calling on the nation’s wealthy citizens to share with those who are less fortunate and who are losing their battle against poverty. “There are many people in South Africa who are rich and who can share those riches with those not so fortunate who have not been able to conquer poverty,” Mandela said.  

Many people ask the Gorilla who his hero is, and although there are many athletes the Gorilla looks up to and admires, he can’t help but think of the man who truly personified strength of character and true integrity. A man who was not going to let his own personal fears reign supreme over the truth of what he knew was the right thing for himself, his people, and his country. He said in his 1994 inaugural speech (a quote from Marianne Williamson) “As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” And in his case that certainly held true. That is truly what a hero represents, and the world should be grateful for having had Nelson Mandela in it for all of these 90 years. Happy Birthday Mr. Mandela!

Ever wonder what it would be like to take a flight somewhere and actually be able to use that laptop you lugged aboard for Internet access? You probably know that it’s been in the works for a while now, but now it’s become a reality.  JetBlue will be offering limited email and instant messaging services on some of its flights as early as next week to try and renew efforts to offer in-flight Internet access. The great news is that it will be absolutely free! Wow..something free on an airplane flight in THIS volatile economy? That’s certainly a hard thing to believe!  But before you get too excited, notice what the Gorilla relayed earlier about this announcement; it’s LIMITED Internet access. So what does that mean exactly? Well, to start with, general email attachments and web surfing will not be permitted because of bandwidth constraints. In addition, if you want to use your laptop or handheld device you will have to use services from Yahoo only, which will limit some people, but then again, you could always forward your corporate emails to a Yahoo account, right?  Jet Blue also has a deal with Research in Motion to allow passengers with one of two Blackberry models (which both have WI-FI capabilities) to check personal email and work email as well.  JetBlue plans to debut its new system on an Airbus A320 on Tuesday’s flight from New York to San Francisco. The aircraft has been specially designated “BetaBlue,” as it will be used to test the systems new entertainment services offered through JetBlue’s subsidiary LiveTV. As far as use of the devices during take-off and landing, that has not changed, and JetBlue still requires them to be turned off during take off and landing.  

Glenn Fleishman, editor of the Wi-Fi Networking News site, said he “knew of no commercial airline currently offering such services, though many will debut next year.” But other airlines are expected to follow suit with the use of the Internet, etc. and AMR Corp.’s  American Airlines is expected to do so as early as within the next few months. So is it a good thing even though you may be “limited?” Well, at least it’s a start. Even if you are limited to certain devices, certain options, and using Yahoo services, most people believe that if they can at least access their corporate emails while in flight, that takes care of a lot of issues. And that my friends, limited as it may be, is better than nothing!

Have you ever wondered what would really happen if you pursued a lawsuit with the telemarketing company that did not heed the “do not call list” you requested to be put on? Well, one company is experiencing just that kind of karma right now to the tune of almost $95,000 in fines. That’s right folks. Finally, someone is paying for all those bothersome phone calls they made to folks who didn’t want to be bothered.  According to Federal Regulators, two telemarketing companies, both working on behalf of the Dish Network, are being made to pay the fine after violating the National Do Not Call list and making customers listen to recordings for too long. Planet Earth Satellite is accused of calling customers, who are listed on the National Do Not Call Registry, and Star Satellite, LLC, is accused of failing to connect customers with a live telemarketer within 2 seconds after the consumer answered the call. Apparently, there is a 2 second rule (who knew), which was implemented after people (mostly women and the elderly) expressed concern that they were being stalked. That would explain the brief delay you experience upon answering the phone and saying “hello” when no one answers you right away. (The Gorilla knows we have all had this happen!)  The Federal Trade Commission said that “the company, its president, and other defendants were ‘unjustly enriched’ by these ‘unlawful practices.’” Hmm. “Unjustly enriched” is what they are calling it? The Gorilla calls it just plain harassment! He can’t count the number of times that the phone rang during dinner time and he had to push back his chair, jump over the dog, wipe his hands and mouth, (all on the way to the phone) and swallow his last bite of food just in case it was his mother-in-law calling, and it turned out to be none other than a telemarketer! The last time it happened, the Gorilla asked the man for his home phone number and told him he would gladly call the man back at his residence during his dinner time!  A little advice from the Gorilla: When telemarketers call you, ask the name of the company and keep a log of the name and the date. Then request to be put on the “do not call” list.  If they call you again, you can report them to the Bureau of Consumer Protection or whatever agency your state uses to fight against phone telemarketer harassment (or you could just NOT answer the phone!).

Ever wonder why you’ve tried doing the 100-calorie snack thing and it doesn’t seem to help your diet? In fact, research shows, it may very well hurt you in the long run. The reason? Well, mostly it’s psychological, but psychology has a lot (not all) to do with physiology and why we gain or lose weight. Many people who are watching their weight (even the Gorilla is guilty of this) have tried or frequently eat, those little 100-calorie snack packs, but health researchers say that may be doing more harm than good because of the psychology involved in eating them.  You see, it’s a little trick that your mind subconsciously plays on you. You tell yourself that the packs are only a meager 100 calories, but mentally you are telling yourself that you can eat more at the next meal, or have more snacks than you normally would throughout the day, resulting in more calories consumed, rather than less. The result is weight gain instead of weight loss. Bummer.  The trouble is, we have all been told that consuming fewer calories results in weight loss, and while that may be true in some cases, it is not always the case. You see, it’s not so much how many calories you’re eating, as much as what you are eating that is important. You may be snacking all day long on low cal foods that are really not all that healthy for you, causing your body to retain fat instead of lose it.  Foods high in sodium for instance, fill the body with water and cause weight gain so if you think that eating 10 snack- packs of 100-calorie goldfish all day long and nothing else (totaling only 1,000 calories) will result in weight loss, you are probably wrong. In addition most of the low cal snack foods inhibit proper digestion again, causing weight gain. The solution? Try eating less of the foods that have nutritional labels and more of those that have none. In other words, eat fresh produce such as fruits, vegetables, and nuts. Fresh fish is also a good example, but just make sure you bake it or broil it- don’t fry it.  Another reason to quit snacking unhealthily? Food allergies. No, not the severe food allergies such as those triggered by peanuts or shellfish etc. but allergies that create low-grade, delayed reactions to food, that until now, researchers weren’t aware of. These simple food allergies can cause swelling of the feet and ankles and an overall bloated look in certain people. Research now shows that these hidden allergies are low-grade food sensitivities, which can trigger a chronic immune reaction and inflammation. And anything that causes inflammation interferes with your metabolism and leads to weight gain.   

So what is the solution? Take a holiday from the foods you normally eat and replace them with healthy foods, such as fresh fish, vegetables, and fruit (not citrus) instead. Try leaving out these foods: gluten (wheat, barley, rye, spelt, oats, kamut), dairy, eggs, corn, yeast and citrus. When you do this for a couple of weeks, you may notice that a host of other problems are no longer present, such as headaches, chronic fatigue, joint and muscle pain, and sinus problems to name a few.  So yes, you may have to ditch the snack-packs, but hey, you may be ditching a diet trap you weren’t even aware was present! (And your headaches may finally subside as well!) Good luck and healthy eating!

Over the last several years, the U.S. has waged a war against smoking (mostly targeting teens and young adults), and the campaign has cost big tobacco billions of dollars. The good news is that, according to the report “America’s Children in Brief: Key National Indicators of Well-Being 2008,” teen smoking is down. Unfortunately, while everyone was at the anti-smoking party, teen pregnancy sneaked in and robbed the house!  According to the National Institute of Health, teen pregnancies are up for the first time since 1991. It seems like every time we take a step forward we end up taking two steps back! The report comes after a rash of high-profile teenagers, such as Jamie Lynn Spears and several teenagers at Glouster High School in Massachusetts, gave birth recently. Federal health officials don’t know why the numbers have jumped in this past year since there isn’t sufficient enough data at this time to indicate the reasons why.  The Director of the National Center for Health Statistics in the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, says that it could be a “blip” in the data, but is it really, or is it a trend? He also says that teen pregnancy rates are an indicator of how the overall health and mental well being of these teens will be for the next 20 years to come. Another concern is that many teens don’t get the proper prenatal care, which can contribute to low birth weight and a variety of other health issues in babies. A cutback in community resources for youth over the last eight years could help explain the increase in teen pregnancies, said Michele Ozumba, director of the Georgia Campaign for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention. She claims that the small community-based organizations are struggling to keep their doors open. Less resources for kids in need means it’s easy for teens to feel alone or unable to trust anyone.  Whether teens feel more emotionally unstable now than in the past or whether it is the “in” thing to do (such as the pact made by teens in the pregnancy sect in Massachusetts), is the question that needs to be answered before it becomes an epidemic. It sure seems to the Gorilla that it could be a “lesser of two evils” situation: there may be less people potentially dying of lung cancer from smoking, but there may be a new baby-boom ensuing among teen instead!